Lions, Tigers and Bears! Oh Yeah!
It has been a long winter but today it seems like spring is on its way!
I recently spent a week in San Francisco where it seems it is spring at
least once a day. I was there for classes and the city never seemed more
beautiful. Just by luck I happened to be there for International Bear
Rendezvous. Bears came out of hibernation from all over the world to meet
in that wonderful city. Unfortunately I was working a little too much to
enjoy the festivities as much as I would have liked.
What are Bears? Bears are a wonderful group of men who aren’t the
buffed pretty boys that so many of us wish we were. They have a beauty all
their own. They are generally a little bigger, a little more burly, maybe
a bit more hairy, they are not Twinkies! They are a group of men who are
beautiful in their own way. They generally tend to be very happy, healthy
and very accepting. You won’t get much attitude from a bear unless you
dish him some and then you will wish he was hibernating. You may get a big
bear hug from one of them but what is wrong with that? We could all use a
good bear hug. I sure do!
If you haven’t guessed it yet, I am fascinated by bears. Maybe it’s
the facial hair. Maybe it’s the comfort they project. I’m not sure.
But they get my vote. One thing that they get my vote on is their general
comfort in being who they are and letting you be who you are. This comfort
translates into many things. One thing that this personal comfort often
translates into is SAFETY! You remember from many of my articles that a
healthy self-esteem often translates into a healthy body or at least doing
what you have to keep yourself safe.
The bears as a community have created a community where safety is
expected. Each one seems to look out for himself and for the others around
him. They are truly a community minded group of men! While I was in SF, I
saw safe parties advertised by some of the bear groups! I attended a few
events but my favorite was the "BearHugs" party. Three men open
up their old Victorian house once a month. Hundreds of men attend this
event which attracts a wide range of guys: from radical faeries to
leathermen. However, most of these men would call themselves bears.
I had a chance to talk to the guys who run this monthly party. They
informed me that the main purpose was to bring the gay community together
and provide a safe environment where guys of all different shapes, sizes
and groups can get together and have fun. They think by bringing together
a community of gay men, it teaches men about safer fun and personal
responsibility to take care of each other.
I walked around for a bit after I talked to these men and I was so
proud to see the prevalence of safe sex supplies! They weren’t just
laying there they were being taken and used!
Remember before you let a bear into your honey pot (or anyone else for
that matter), make sure that they do it safely. You may be surprised to
see that they are one step ahead of you! If you need to find out what
safety means, call me, email me, come see me at CAMP Rehoboth or stop me
on the street when you see me. I cannot "bear" to let these
questions go unanswered!
CAMPsafe is here for you!
Sal Seeley is Program Director of CAMPsafe, an HIV/AIDS Education
and Prevention program funded through a contract with the Delaware
Division of Public Health. Free, anonymous HIV testing is offered at CAMP
Rehoboth, 39 Baltimore Avenue. For more information or to schedule an
appointment, call Sal Seeley at 302-227-5620 or e-mail