All in the Family
At 19 years-old, Maya Keyes, daughter of former Presidential and
Illinois Senatorial candidate Alan Keyes, finds herself in a difficult
position, but one that is so familiar to millions of gay youth in our
country, especially those who have grown up in "right-wing
Christian" families. She loves her father, does not want to
disappoint him, yet knows that her father thinks her sexual orientation is
"sinful" and represents "selfish hedonism." For the
young gay daughter of a man who has often cited his religion to denigrate
homosexuals, Maya Keyes has had to endure a father who has campaigned for
years against her own welfare and equality.
It is always ironic when a high profile public figure in the anti-gay
movement is found to have a gay child. Many of these young people are
raised in "right-wing Christian" environments, and have parents
who campaign against any government recognition of the humanity of gay
people.
Yet some of their kids end up gay. If they are very strong, these young
people may become well-adjusted adults, despite the self-hatred that their
parents and their churches have instilled in them throughout their
childhood.
"Right-wing Christians" continue to rant about homosexuality
undermining America’s families, but actually, it is homophobia that has
damaged too many families, including some rather high profile
"right-wing Christian" ones. Operation Rescue founder and
fervently anti-gay Randall Terry has said of his gay son, Jamiel, that he
is "bringing great sadness to our home and embarrassment to our
family," and "is no longer welcome in my home." For his
part, Jamiel said he still loves his father, and if he could choose, he
"definitely would not choose to be gay, especially in the family that
I live in."
When Sadie Fields, chairwoman of the Georgia Christian Coalition, found
out her daughter Tess was gay, she went to where she worked and told her
she was "dead to the family," and called her sick, crazy, and
"of the devil." The late conservative Republican state Senator
from California, William J. "Pete" Knight, was that state’s
leading opponent of gay marriage. He was estranged from his gay son David,
and never met David’s partner of ten years, Joseph.
There are also some high profile right-wing parents that have kept
their gay kids close in their lives. Phyllis Schlafly, founder of The
Eagle Forum, has for years deftly finessed the delicate balance of
satiating her "pro-family" constituents, while trying to avoid
assaulting her own family member. Schlafly and her gay son John remain
close.
Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), has launched an ad
campaign highlighting the close relationships of some high profile
straight celebrities and their gay loved ones. The campaign’s message
is: "Stay close to your loved ones because relationships are too
precious to lose," and will feature, among others, Ben Affleck and
his cousin Jason, Congressman Gregory Meeks and his brother John, talk
show host Cristina Saralegui and her brother Ignacio, and Congressman and
Mrs. Gephardt and their daughter Chrissy.
In the future maybe we will see our nation’s Vice-President in the ad
campaign with his wife Lynne and their gay daughter Mary. Although the
Cheneys have stated they have tremendous pride in both their daughters,
there are some in the Bush-Cheney administration who continue to promote
the idea that homosexuals are not as good as heterosexuals, and that
positive images of gay people should not be in public view.
In only her second day in office, Education Secretary Margaret Spelling
attacked a PBS children’s program featuring various families from around
the country for including a loving Vermont family of two gay women and
their kids. When any member of the Bush-Cheney administration deems gay
families as not fit viewing for children, it is an assault on all gay
American’s, including the daughter of our nation’s Vice-President. A
Cheney family appearance in the PFLAG "Stay Close" campaign
would go a long way to heal the deep wounds left by a Presidential
campaign marred by politically motivated attacks against gays, and this
most recent display of intolerance by Margaret Spelling.
One family we will not be seeing in the PFLAG campaign any time soon is
the Keyes family. Maya Keyes has recently written in her blog that her
father has given her two-weeks to leave their apartment, and has
terminated her employment, leaving her with no resources. Maya writes,
"After all the arguments and tension over the years, I always hoped
it would never actually get to this point, although I suppose given our
vastly divergent political beliefs it was inevitable." For his entire
career, Alan Keyes has promoted his version of "family values."
Now he is challenged to show his gay daughter true family values, and not
have her sexual orientation be a barrier to the love and support that all
young people need and deserve.
Marc Paige may be reached at