SPORTS Complex

Freestyle wrestling—practiced at the Olympics, at Gay Games, and most tournaments in America—has long been a refuge for athletes seeking a demanding winter sport. Yet, despite wrestling’s sexy image and revealing singlets, relatively few wrestlers are openly gay.

With 17 gay-inclusive clubs in North America, and more in Europe and Australia, wrestling in the GLBT community has enjoyed a growing reputation. But it remains limited to a dedicated few hundred among the thousands of adults who wrestle.

Those who initially think of wrestling as an elevated form of playing are often surprised by the physical demands of the sport. "Many gay men associate wrestling with foreplay to a sexual encounter or think it will lead it there," says Mark Lavik of Rhode Island, who runs New England’s East Coast Wrestling Club. And in a community where physical contact usually implies sex, some gay men misunderstand the tactile male bonding.

"Both straight and gay wrestlers share a fundamental ease with the body and with body contact," says Nick Zymaris of New York City’s Metro Wrestling Club. "Two wrestlers can start putting each other into headlocks and going at it, even if the nonwrestlers around, gay and not, think it’s weird."

Zymaris likes the blend of qualities that the sport provides. At Metro, as with other clubs, a team dinner usually follows a weekly or biweekly practice. Participants’ ages range from early 20s up to 50s. Although a few women spar at some clubs, more usually join up just before the Gay Games. Membership at all clubs increases then as grapplers seek a chance to travel as a team.

A stalwart of the wrestling community, coach Gene Dermody has helped San Francisco’s Golden Gate Wrestling Club become a model of diversity, tenacity, and financial stability that other clubs admire.

A former high school coach from New Jersey, Dermody says that "camaraderie, fun, family, support, and competition" keep him wrestling. "Being gay was always a nonissue for me, as a competitor or coach, over the 35 years of my involvement."

Although Dermody’s been out since the earliest Gay Games, in the general wrestling community he says he sees "a sort of ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy" with the many gay athletes in the sport who aren’t out. Members of Golden Gate have often officiated and assisted at open tournaments around Northern California.

Does this make for a safer—or more ambiguous—environment for gay teenagers who take up wrestling? Some wrestlers admit their love for the sport grew with their coming out. Others do indeed associate their first sexual desires with wrestling.

For example, Zymaris says that, at 21, he learned a freeform submission style while living in Greece, when one night of roughhousing with a close friend became sexual.

"Just the realization that for the first time we were touching each other in an erotic way, and that what I’d only fantasized about was taking place, was one of the best and most arousing things about that first-time encounter," he recalls.

But some adult wrestlers never associated their sexuality with wrestling. Before injuries interrupted his nearly breaking an NCAA record (unintentionally) of being pinned 15 consecutive times, Roger Brigham wrestled as a lightweight at Ohio Wesleyan University.

He later coached wrestling in Alaska from 1977 to 1986. While out in his private life, as a coach he "never made it an issue. I don’t think anyone knew I was gay."

"Wrestling itself is not sexual for the competitor," explains Dermody, who clarifies the difference between private sparring and club practices. "It’s impossible to become aroused if you’re really fighting. For the observer, there are obvious visual cues that are suggestive: touching, domination, and aggression. Thinking about actually wrestling, before or after a match, can be sexual."

While experienced grapplers know the difference, some like to blur the lines. Even before the Internet exploded with underground tapes and images of wrestlers in provocative positions, mailing groups, erotica, and videos testified to a sexual mystique.

But according to Dermody, they’re missing out. "The observer or fan has no idea what’s going on," he says. "He creates a fetish, deprives himself of knowing the true nature of male bonding, which is far more of an aphrodisiac."

Most clubs play down the erotic angle—unless it’s for fundraising efforts. Seattle and San Francisco’s clubs sell tastefully sexy calendars, as well as T-shirts and other clothing. Several clubs offer demonstrations at street fairs and nightclubs.

American gay-inclusive clubs are all dues-paying members of USA Wrestling for insurance purposes; none have ever been turned down for membership. But few in amateur wrestling acknowledge a gay presence.

Of his fellow athletes who straddle social and sexual misconceptions—being visible yet invisible—says Brigham, "There’s a tribal bond that transcends politics and sexuality."