Speak Out

My spouse and I believe in doing the right thing no matter what the cost—and there is great cost in being openly gay and actively working for equality. Specifically, my parents disinherited me when I “came out” to them and most of my family spurn me. I was fired from my professional position after I reported homophobic treatment of myself as well as sexual harassment of women. My life has been threatened twice. My spouse and I are often verbally harassed and have received hate mail and hate phone calls. Every day we are consciously aware that our lives and well-being are endangered—but must live honest, principled lives despite the threat.

Now we are asking our state senators to have the moral courage to ensure that HB 99 becomes law this legislative session. Whatever the political cost, at least no senator’s life would be endangered, which is what we face daily. And instead of allowing a hateful status quo to be perpetuated, the senators can choose to be on the right side of history in making Delaware a more equitable place to live.

The senators, in short, have a chance to become heroes.

Douglas Marshall-Steele 

With all of the attention being drawn to the concerns of LGBT foster and adoptive parents (thanks, Rosie!), I wanted to bring the issue a little closer to home for those of us who reside in Delaware.

I am an openly queer foster parent to a young teenager placed with me last summer by Delaware’s Division of Family Services, and I hope to adopt my daughter later this year. I want to tell persons in Sussex county who might consider becoming a foster parent or adopting an older or special-needs child that the state agencies’ policies and personnel have been 110% supportive of me as a queer parent through every step of the process. I have not had even one single tiny incident of my sexuality being an issue, and I have felt supported and respected in every way. They have even been helpful and supportive to me and my new partner, who I met shortly after my daughter came to live with me, as we work through the process of becoming a blended family.

When I first decided to become a foster parent I had no role models or mentors in the area, no one to clue me in as to what to expect from “the system” in this county, and I will admit that I definitely presumed some measure of close mindedness, discomfort, or outright discrimination because of my sexuality. I am thrilled beyond measure to report that I was totally and completely wrong to assume that.

I am writing with hope that this information might push others who have considered becoming foster parents but were unsure what to expect towards making that commitment. It has unquestionably changed my life in a dramatically positive way, and there are far too many kids out there who need stable, loving families. You definitely don’t need to own a home or have a partner or have any experience as a parent in order to do this. You just need the strong desire to make a dramatically positive difference in the life of a child.

If you are considering becoming a foster parent and would like to talk to someone who’s been there, please contact me at instamom2teen@mchsi.com.

Leslie Vincent 

In the March 8, 2002 edition of Letters there appears an advertisement on page 19 which I find both disturbing and offensive. How do you justify publishing this insensitive and tasteless ad?

This week America viewed the moving tribute to the New York firemen by the two French film makers. We came to realize more fully the sacrifice and dedication these men exemplified in the enormous tragedy of the twin towers. In the September 24 issue of Newsweek the cover photograph depicts three firemen raising the American flag. I believe the creator of the advertisement in question used this photo as inspiration for this questionable picture. Why would you choose to publish something that would trivialize and diminish their courageous efforts?

Surely bad taste and bad judgment were involved. The American people are still in the process of healing and do not condone this parody. This kind of irresponsibility does not reflect your mission nor does it serve your publication well.

I trust you will accept this criticism in the spirit in which it was written.

Mary B. Craig 

I told my Realtor that I didn’t even want to look in Dewey Beach. Too much noise, too much booze. Not good for property values. Not a place I want to retire to. But he insisted that I had to see this house, so to amuse him I did. What a house! What spectacular bay views! I had to have it!

And I do. So now it seems that I should see what can be done to fix the problems that made me try so hard to reject Dewey. And who wouldn’t want to clean it up?

Some citizens of Dewey Beach don’t seem to want to fix anything. I have received three unnamed mailings against any new taxes or revenue streams. Their letters are full of mean, unsubstantiated claims that the leadership of Dewey Beach is incompetent, maybe criminal. You are left to read between the lines of their insinuation.

Without new sources of income Dewey Beach will be left in the dust while other beach communities pass us by. Let’s be frank: much of Dewey Beach is a “tear-down.” We need to clean up the noise, the booze and the overcrowding in order to attract new visitors and new business. We need to address the serious parking problem and the poor condition of our streets. We need some attractive parks and streetscapes. We need to “postcard it up” a little bit. This takes money.

This is not the time to circle the wagons against the infidels. If we choose against new revenue streams, if we turn our backs on the future, we have met the infidels, and they are us.

Gene SirLouis, Dewey Beach