A couple of years ago my sister, fancying herself a modern day Auntie Mame, decided that we (she and her husband, our friend Sondra, and Steve and I) should take each one of our nieces and nephews to New York to celebrate their 16th birthday. And so a tradition was born—not that it takes very much to establish a tradition in our family, mind you.

This year was the second of seven trips that we will take to the Big Apple for birthday celebrations. Like everything else we do these days the trip had been carefully tailored to fit the busy schedule of everyone involved. After many discussions we had narrowed down the date to one possible weekend—March 16-18—so airline tickets were bought for the nephew, hotel rooms secured, and show tickets purchased. Remember March 16-17? Remember Saint Patrick’s Day weekend? The East Coast cities were hit by a late season winter storm that caused the cancellation of hundreds of flights—including, of course, the one carrying our nephew. In the end we somehow got him there by Saturday morning and all was not lost, we still had a great time—and still managed to do almost everything we had planned to do.

Not having children of our own, Steve and I are lucky to have family members who are delighted to share their kids with us—not just for birthday trips, but for holidays and vacations as well. Not all gay people are so lucky. For some, the experience of family is not always a good thing. Some are still in the closet; others, though they have come out, are ostracized and despised by family members.

One of the reasons we started CAMP Rehoboth 17 years ago, was to combat the slogan that was being used around the city. Remember it? "Keep Rehoboth a family town." Now Rehoboth is a "family" town, but a town that welcomes all kinds of families.

Why is it that the word family is so often used by our enemies as a buzzword to mean anti-gay? The list is endless—Focus on the Family, Family Research Council, Family Research Institute, to name a few. Then again, the gay community also uses it when asking of one another, "Is he/she family?" And the song, "We Are Family" has been elevated in gay culture to near anthem status.

We all want to be a part of something. The need to belong is a part of who we are as human beings. We surround ourselves with all kinds of groups the we classify as family—immediate family, extended family, church family, work family, military family, gay family—whoever it is in our lives that satisfies our deep need to belong, to be loved, to have support and protection.

Our world is a mess—global warming and environmental problems, war, AIDS, violence, greed, to name a few—the list is endless. Somehow we seem to have forgotten that we are all one family. Whether we are interpreting our history from a scientific or a religious viewpoint, the outcome is the same. We come from the same family. We are more alike than we are different. We are all human.

Just imagine what would happen if our lives suddenly turned into the stuff of science fiction—if our planet was violently threatened by an outside or alien force of some kind. Suddenly our differences would seem like nothing. Maybe then we would forget the difference between gay and straight, Catholic and Baptist, black and white, Shiite and Sunni, Arab and Jew, conservative and liberal, Democrat and Republican, rich and poor. Maybe then we would remember to see one another as members of the same family.

I’ve spent my life working for the day when gay people become equal members of society—when all people become equal members of society. But right now—and gay activists across the country will probably shudder at this—I would give up all hope that Steve and I would ever receive equal marriage benefits in our lifetime if it meant that we could elect a truly great leader—that rare human being who is able to unite the country—and the world—with a vision and a heart for the future ahead.

The times call for great leadership, but we’re all so busy pushing our own cause, our own beliefs, our own party line, our own red side or blue side or lavender side, that I wonder if we would even know one if we saw one. Have we become so dependent on sound bites, media exploitation, and internet gossip that we’ve lost the ability to see wisdom, to see grace, to see reason, to see hope, to see vision?

Unfortunately, the leader we really need is the one who doesn’t want power, who doesn’t want control, who doesn’t seek the high places and the powerful houses. That, of course, is not how politics work—not how the game is played.

Remember the King Solomon story about the two women who stood before him, each claiming to be the mother of the same child. Solomon’s response was that the two women should share the child and called for a sword to split the infant in half. Horrified, one of the women stepped forward and agreed to give up her share of the child. Whereupon, Solomon gave her the baby, declaring, "This is the child’s mother."

What would happen to the world if we all gave up a little of ourselves for the sake of peace, for the sake of the planet, for the good of the human family?

The logo of the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center shows a house with a heart in it. To some in our community, I imagine, that heart is only a gay heart, a house with only one room. But that’s not the case. The foundation of the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center was built on a "room for all" philosophy. That means the whole family—all of it—in whatever form it takes.

To truly celebrate the diversity of the human family, we have to let go of some of the ways we define ourselves and some of the demands we place upon others. Letting go of what we want the most is sometimes the only way to find it.

Thank You to all the CAMP Rehoboth Community Center Volunteers for the period of March 8—April 4.

Marti Austin
Tony Burns
Jim Byrnes
Harvey Chasser
Robert Delanoce
Barb Fishel
Tony Ghigi
Joan Glass
Michael Muller
Jim O’Dell
Barb Ralph
Ken Reilly
Chris Sampson
Guillermo Silveira
Sandra Skidmore