The ability to laugh is one thing that sets human beings apart from such inferior species as worms, snails and right-wing evangelicals. Well, actually members of the latter group sometimes manage a smile, but it’s usually when one of them parrots a remark that has been drilled into their skulls—like "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."

It’s not always easy for any of us to find something to laugh about, what with wars, social injustice, and lame situation comedies. But there’s one bit of good news for the American consumer of cheap chuckles. Unlike the price of real estate, medical care and gasoline, the cost of a chuckle or a chortle has increased by only one-tenth of one percent during the past year. That’s according to California-based humor consultant Malcolm Kushner, an attorney and lecturer who, for more than a decade, has compiled the annual Cost of Laughing Index.

Each year, Kushner calculates the comparative prices of a group of comedy staples, among them the average cost of a funny singing telegram and the wholesale prices of rubber chickens, Groucho Marx glasses, and whoopee cushions. This year’s tiny rise in the index was attributed to a 49-cent hike in the cover price of Mad Magazine and a modest increase in admission to some of the nation’s leading comedy clubs.

Kushner’s research is good and useful, as far it goes. But I can think of a lot of other variables that ought to be factored into his index, particularly for queer consumers of comedy. First of all, gay people always have been on an uneven playing field when it comes to the sport of joke-making. Although we may have invented the concept of "dis," the negative social cost of being the butts of homophobic jokes, still a factor in the routines of too many club comedians and average Joes-on-the-street, puts us at a distinct disadvantage in the contest to keep smiles on our faces.

Particularly irksome is the way so many seemingly hip young people currently use the word "gay" as a dismissive for almost anything and everything they deem "silly," "uncool" or "fatuous." The situation even has come to the attention of style-setting magazine Details, which published an essay reflecting confusion and consternation about the trend in its April issue.

Traits the writer has heard his peers describe as "gay" include "knowing too much about your astrological sign, ordering a size medium (soft drink)…having an AOL e-mail address…and liking Dave Matthews." Things he has heard described as gay include Frappuccinos, the Seattle Seahawks’ uniforms, Tasmanian devils and yoga mats. As for his generation, the writer says, "We don’t think homosexual means stupid, objectionable, uncool. And yet we continue to use gay in this totally stupid, objectionable and uncool way." He ends his essay by noting that he’s writing it under a fake name, "which is, without question, the gayest thing I’ve ever done."

Actually, the Details essay is pretty funny, and the magazine is an equal-opportunity bargain for straight and gay audiences alike at $3.95.

Unfortunately, the cost of making gay people laugh is mounting at a faster rate than Malcolm Kushner’s Index would indicate. Let’s consider a few categories that an Index of Gay Laughter would have to include.

While straight people can get jolly relating to people like themselves on almost any network sitcom from Two and a Half Men to The New Adventures of Old Christine, laugh-lorn gay viewers have precious few choices, particularly now that Will & Grace is leaving the air.

Fortunately, we do have the quirky relationship between James Spader and William Shatner (as the inimitable Denny Crane) on Boston Legal, and we now have national cable channels catering especially to our interests and our collective sense of humor. Not that access to those channels comes cheaply. Although it is available in more markets every month, the leading gay channel Logo is not part of anyone’s basic cable or satellite lineup. In most places, gay consumers must cough up at least $25 a month for a higher tier of service if we want to enjoy the refreshing punch lines in Logo’s sitcom Wonderfalls or its standup-comic series Wisecrack. Although Logo wasn’t even available until the past year, it will soon be a "to-die-for" for all of us, adding significantly to the cost-of-gay-laughter index.

Other sources of gay wit similarly appear to be rising in price faster than those directed toward straight audiences. Take, for instance, recorded comedy. The best price I could find online for a copy of Jason Stuart’s critically acclaimed CD Gay Comedy Without A Dress is $15. But, if you’re willing to settle for an album of redneck jokes by Larry the Cable Guy, you’ll find a wide selection for as little as $12.98.

Then there’s the cost of a funny gay greeting card. Currently, one of the best studios for queer-friendly greetings is "clayboys," which offers (among other subjects) amusing cartoon characters in clever guy-to-guy situations. The best-seller in our shop features a naked man with his hands placed across his crotch and a look of horror on his face; his partner kneels on the floor nearby, holding a hand over his smarting right eyeball. The message: "It’s all fun and games until someone gets poked in the eye with a dick." (CAMP Rehoboth might do well to recruit the clayboys’ cartoonists for one of the CAMPsafe campaigns.)

The "fun-and-games" card retails for $2.75, as does an image of two heavyset guys on the beach wearing scant swimwear, over the words, "Two Thongs Don’t Make a Right." By comparison, a card by Noble-works studio with the same punch line and a cartoon of a male and female wearing thongs, sells for only $2.50. Once again, the price of making the joke gay is higher.

Even old-school gay humor has become more costly. A copy of the classic 1980s’ board game "Gay Monopoly," with its hysterical references to an era of disco balls, hanky codes and Fire Island cruising, can set you back more than $200 on eBay. But, if you simply want a vintage copy of regular (or, "straight") Monopoly, you won’t have to spend more than a couple bucks.

All in all, when it comes to the cost of a laugh, gay folks definitely are paying more than average—but, then again, aren’t we worth it?