Twice a year the rainbow alliance at my
school heads over to the local high school to talk to the tenth grade
health classes about growing up not straight. This is one of my favorite
events of the year—a group of us introduce ourselves and then we field
questions. This year we had the class write down questions beforehand,
as well, so that the first five minutes weren’t filled with
unspeakable awkwardness. (So...when did you figure out that you
were...um...gay?)
The following are
actual questions that we were asked. Of course we answered them all in
complete seriousness. For the purposes of this column, however, I shall
relate the answers that I would have liked to give.
What should
heterosexual people know about you?
That if they know any
single lesbian geeks from 18-24 they should send them my way.
When did you figure out
you were different from the majority of other people?
In the fifth grade,
when I wasn’t the tallest person in the class anymore and everyone
just kept on growing and growing and I was still five two. This took
years to accept.
What’s the hardest
part about homosexual tendencies?
Making women I am
attracted to have them.
Do you play hockey?
No! Although I feel
that you are attempting to ask us if many of us play sports! And saying
that perhaps there are lots of lesbian athletes! Why yes, yes there are!
But there’s no reason to yell about it!
Are your parents
supportive?
They don’t need to
be. Playtex 18 hours give me all the support that I desire.
Basically, how many
sports do you play a lot?
Okay, we admit it.
Insidious homosexuals have invaded every sports team known to mankind
just to watch you shower.
How did you become what
you are?
When a man and a woman
love each other very much sometimes a stork will... geez, what kind of
health class is this?
How did you first
realize you’re gay?
There was this whole
thing where I was persistently attracted towards women.
Do people at Dartmouth
(teachers, students) look at you differently? How do you deal with this?
It’s actually a
little known fact that the school nondiscrimination policy requires that
every known homosexual be looked at whilst the observer’s head is at a
45 degree angle. More people are suspended for failing to do this than
for academic dishonesty, but one must be a registered homosexual with
the college before it can be enforced.
What made you believe
that you were bi-sectual?
I couldn’t decide
between Jesus and Buddah; embracing both was my only option.
What are some reactions
you’ve gotten from people?
Many people inform me
that they already knew. This is always a disappointing reaction, so I
try to tell them that I’m also a cannibalistic serial killer to see if
I can get a rise out of them.
Sometimes you have to
take this to an extreme; I’ve lost a lot of friends. No, literally.
Do you guyz or galz
ever get made fun of?
Not as much as you will
be for that spelling.
Do you guyz or galz
have homosexual sex?
Not nearly enough.
As you can see, high
schools are teeming with youth who are curious about sexual orientation.
I have to admit that I am grateful for the chance to get into the
schools—if nothing else, the questions were sincere and we answered in
kind. I would have loved to have a discussion like that in my health
class—we only mentioned homosexuality when we got to AIDS, and even
that was a brief mention. The smallest things undercut the loneliness
and isolation that I felt at the time, and I’d like to think that my
peers might have even learned something from listening to people tell
their stories about growing up queer.
Sure enough, the day
after the panel we received an email from one of the students we talked
to. She said that it was good to know that she wasn’t alone, and that
it was hard not to laugh when the rest of her class said that they
didn’t know any gay people. I know what you mean, kid.
Kristen
Minor is a member of the class of 2004 at Dartmouth College, where it
snowed April 25th. She is considering moving to a place where that never
happens. Email: Kristen@youth-guard.org.
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