Jane Fonda. Just saying her name to people can evoke a wide variety of responses. Some people would like to spit on her and others want to celebrate her. Me? Politics aside, I’d just like a big, fat kiss from her.

Jane Fonda. She’s controversial, she’s outspoken, she’s still an activist, she has two Oscars to her credit, she’s beautiful, and, oh my gawd, she’ll be 69 this year. The paperback release of her book, My Life So Far, has launched her on a whirlwind promotional tour. One of her stops was at the Avalon Theater in Washington, DC. That launched me right into a third row seat to hear what she’d have to say, but mainly just to gawk.

Her entrance was, as to be expected, not prompt, but definitely unHollywood. The entourage was relatively small—only about three bodyguards. The limo outside was not small. Jane entered down a side aisle clutching a fluffball of a dog under her right arm. She looked stunning. Her pantsuit was light brown suede and her smile 100 megawatts. She was seated in a director’s chair opposite a totally nondescript interviewer. Okay, okay, he was probably alright but sitting next to Jane would make anyone fade into the woodwork. The dog, however, held his own. But then, if you were cuddled up in Jane Fonda’s lap you’d be more than okay too. The mutt, we learned, is a coton de tulears—not only have I never heard of the breed but I’m sure I can’t even pronounce it.

There was a thirty minute interview with the reporter asking fairly mundane, softball questions.

We learned that Jane is big into "owning" herself these days. In fact, if there was a theme to what she was saying "owning" played a large role. Also, Jane is dividing her life into thirty year segments. The first thirty was the formative years (Gathering); the second 30 the growing years (Seeking); and the next thirty? (Beginnings)

Well, she plans on continuing to "own" herself and is saying "nuts" to the business of being beautiful. Jane says, by golly, that if Katherine Hepburn could do it, so can she. To show how serious she is, she’s had her breast implants removed and says she wanted to have them bronzed and put on the mantel next to her Oscars but because they contained bio-hazardous material she couldn’t. Okay, you can pause here while you try to conjure up the mental image of that. (What she didn’t say is when she plans to have her "face drop.")

Throughout much of the interview my mind was besotted with images of Barbarella, Barbarella, Barbarella, and thoughts of Jane’s self imposed six years of celibacy. That and the fact, as written in her book, that she, "threw myself into the threesome [orchestrated by Vadim] with the skill and enthusiasm of the actress that I am...sometimes there were three of us, sometimes more. Sometimes it was even I who did the soliciting." Gulp!!!

The only question that got a rise out the audience was when the interviewer told her he was going to throw out a few names to her and he wanted her to give an instant response of a few lines or so. The first name he lobbed at her was, "Roger Vadim." Thoughtful silence from her.

The reporter said, "Jane I wanted you not to think about it but to quickly respond." She sort of shook her head and said, "Okay, okay. (pause). Endowed!" We all roared with laughter and I think it took a few seconds for her to realize just what she had said. She had the good grace to giggle and, I believe, blush.

The next half-hour was turned over to Q&A from the audience. Almost immediately someone asked about Vietnam, specifically her role in going to Hanoi. What followed in her answer is the apologia that most of us are familiar with. While it all seems a bit revisionist and perhaps naïve to me, Jane says she had arrived in Hanoi exhausted, nursing a broken foot, on crutches and feeling very vulnerable. And that infamous picture of her sitting on the seat of that antiaircraft gun? Well, says Jane, she was led over to it after trying to sing a song in Vietnamese and was still laughing and clapping when she sat down without any thought as to where she’s sitting. Zut alors (as Vadim the Endowed may have uttered) she tried to have the picture quashed when she realized what the interpretation might be, but, well, the rest is history.

The rest of the evening was taken up by a seemingly endless line of people queuing up to have books signed. And, oh, that kiss? Well, I shrewdly waited until near the end of the line. I stood in front of a gorgeous and exhausted Jane Fonda, and with no hesitation said, "You know, Jane Fonda, I wouldn’t mind at all if you leaned across that desk and gave me a big kiss." She looked up with those beautiful blue eyes, and told me, "Oh no, I couldn’t do that, I’d crush my puppy (still in her lap, drat him!)." My response was, "Oh come on, sure you can." "Oh, alright. Just lean waaay over so I don’t crush the dog." Never have I stretched my 5’2" frame so far and was rewarded with a full-on smackeroo from the Lady Jane. The meek may well inherit the earth but damned few of them will have been kissed by Jane Fonda.