Gee, I guess I thought I’d heard it all, but the FDA has banned me from
donating my sperm. It’s bad enough that the Red Cross has a ban on gay
men who want to donate their blood for a worthy cause—and now this! I’m
so upset. What’s next—separate urinals for the gay and straight men
because our urine isn’t good enough to flush next to our straight
counterparts? Don’t laugh—it just might happen with the way of the
world now. So, let’s get back to the subject at hand—donating your
sperm.
Our US government is about to put into play new rules recommending that
any man who has engaged in "homosexual sex," in the past five
years be banned from serving as an anonymous sperm donor. Well, there goes
the milk money.
Seems the FDA considers us at higher risk of carrying the AIDS virus.
Hmmm, I have a problem with that. Our straight counterparts are clean and
virus free? Is it me or do you, too, smell that awful odor of bigotry?
Now, the good news (there’s good news?) is that if I’ve been celibate
for 5 years—no less—then I’m a candidate to donate. Is it worth the
wait?
And how about that Swedish study announced last week? Researchers
discovered that the brains of gay and straight men are different. Well,
hold on there. Wasn’t it back in the 1980s that it was discovered that
the brains of gays and straights were different? In gay men, it seemed
that the hypothalmus was larger than heterosexuals. Fact is, I still have
the black and white t-shirts that say "My hypothalmus is bigger than
your hypothalmus." What this study found was that a gay hypothalmus
responded (like our female counterparts) to male hormones.
We share the ability to smell normal odors, such as lavender oil, cedar
oil, and butonal. But, when they got to human odors—perspiration, sweat,
etc...that’s what made the difference. Gay men and women responded well
to the pheromones—both a key role in human sexuality. Straight men had
no reaction to male pheromones. Don’t know about you folks, but when I
hit the gym I can definitely smell the testosterone being released into
the air.
What was all this controversy in Washington DC over the Cherry 10
event? They didn’t sell as many tickets this year due to a new rule—and
a confusing rule at that. Seemed that the patrons weren’t being able to
take off their shirts at the dance. Let’s see, gay men dancing + loud
music = bare chests. You can expect that nearly 100% of the time. The new
dress code obviously had an effect on the event. Hey, I expect these guys
to take off their shirts at the dances. I enjoy seeing a good chest: any
shape or size, hair, no hair, tight, or not so tight. But nonetheless, we’ve
been doing this for decades. At the last minute they rescinded the rule—but
judging by the limited attendance, it had done its damage. Is this another
sign of the times we are facing? What’s next—T-shirts at the beach? No
kidding. Will we be forced to cover up at the beach—forced to wear some
type of garb to cover up to satisfy the whimsy of a few?
Seems things in Cape May, New Jersey have taken a turn—for the good.
Seems back in the 1960s the government officials of the community of Cape
May enacted a law stating that "no bikini bathing suits for men are
to be worn at their beach." This law was geared (honestly) toward the
gay male population. They realized that the only men who wear this type of
beach wear were gay and in order to get rid of the gay male population in
Cape May, they passed the law. Hey they chased them to Rehoboth—so that
wasn’t bad. Now, I know, that many of you don’t like those types of
bathing suits, but that’s all I wear at the beach. It doesn’t bother
me in the least seeing someone wearing a bikini—it’s a risk many men
take at the beach. So, guess what happened in Cape May? Well, seems
businesses and B&Bs are not filling rooms, so they rescinded the
bikini law. Hey—they’re willing to welcome us back because their
economy is in the dumpster. Now, they want us to be comfortable wearing
our bikinis on their beaches, and make sure you bring that wallet with
you.
And this little tidbit comes from San Francisco. Seems the CDC is
studying men who have sex with men who insist that they are heterosexual.
Called "on the down low," these "straight guys" have
unprotected sex with other men and have sex with their female partners—wife
or girlfriend. Five CDC studies will examine how many white, black, Asian,
and Hispanic men are on the down low, plus other characteristics. Because
of the secret habits of these men, who are often Black men who have sex
with other men "on the down low" and maintain publicly that they
are heterosexual, the rate at which they may spread HIV to female sexual
partners is very difficult to measure. Gosh, I wonder if these guys would
be eligible to donate their sperm—after all they insist they’re
straight!
Well, Nick and I will definitely see you all at the beach this holiday
weekend. We will be the ones wearing bikini bathing suits. Take that, Cape
May!
Rick Moore is a personal trainer certified by the American Fitness
Professionals & Associates. Visit him at