Recently I was invited to a friends cast party
for Guys and Dolls, and a welcome home celebration for another friend who
had just been discharged from the Air Force. Since I didn’t have
anything better to do and really wanted to see the guy that was returning
home from the Air Force, I accepted.
The party consisted of the usual group of people. Some I went to school
with, others I knew through the friend throwing the party. The guests I
didn’t know I figured were friends of his wife.
There was an eclectic group in attendance. Good ole’ boys and the
theater crowd, heterosexuals and homosexuals, rich and poor, black, white,
green, purple, well you get the picture. It was a party.
Since I’m a quiet, reserved person—ok I’m just plain shy—I sat
in the corner near the ring bologna and cheese watching the bustling
action unfold around me. Occasionally someone would grunt a hello or how
are you doing to me as they speared a piece of cheese, but otherwise I was
pretty much left alone.
Then a guy wearing a baseball cap and carrying a can of beer stumbled
over to the table and sat down. For a few minutes we just sat there
pretending to ignore one another. Then he said something that made me
laugh and we started talking. I won’t bore you with the entire
conversation, but suffice it to say he was part of the stage crew and the
husband to one of the female leads. He was a nice enough guy, although
when he started in about cars, I pretty much had to fake my end of the
conversation.
Anyway, as the conversation continued he asked about my Air Force
friend. I told him he was a bit unusual. He asked me what I meant and I
told him he runs around and does silly things like kissing you on the
cheek and giving you hugs. The guy looked at me and asked if he was,
"One of those types?" meaning a homosexual. Without thinking I
blurted out, "No. No. He’s normal."
Two guys, I knew to be gay, were standing nearby and overheard my
comment. They didn’t say anything, but I knew from the hurt look in
their eyes that they thought I was a bigot and a gay basher.
I’m none of those things, but at that moment I could understand their
response. But this incident has got me thinking about words and the way we
use them. Even in the beginning of this article I used terms like
heterosexual, homosexual, black and white. Why does humanity feel the need
to label other humans? We should label CDs and Tupperware containers not
each other.
Instead we try to class everyone’s sexual activities as normal or
abnormal, the color of their skin as black or white, and religious beliefs
as Christians or heathens.
We can’t even be politically correct without being offensive. "I’m
not gay, not that there is anything wrong with that." I don’t know
what’s worse, that people feel the need to justify their sexuality or
that homosexuals need the permission of heterosexuals to be labeled
normal.
First, I’d like to apologize to those two men that I offended at that
party with my insensitive comments and second, in the words of Ron White,
the next time you have an offensive thought "just let it go,"
the world will be a much better place for it.
Darryl Schnell lives in Leighton, Pennsylvania.