Letters had intern reporter Moxie the Schnauzer interview Sammie, a rescue dog this week in anticipation of the Cause 4 Paws auction and fundraiser Sunday, July 9, at the Rehoboth Convention Center to benefit Safe Haven No-Kill Shelter. Here are the edited results of the conversation (we had to clean up some of Moxie’s comments; that dog has some mouth.)

Moxie: Hey Sammie, what breed are you?

Sammie: Um, well, I think I’m mostly Yorkie but somebody musta jumped the fence ‘cause I’m not totally Yorkie.

Moxie: So no papers, then?

Sammie: just the ones my dads put on the floor to train me. No AKC if that’s what you mean.

Moxie: Well that’s okay. We believe in diversity in Rehoboth. How old are you?

Sammie: What’s with you? Never ask a lady her age. Anyway, I really don’t know, I think I’m 8 or 9.

Moxie: I’m 8, so that’s young! So tell me what it’s like being a rescued dog—if you don’t mind my asking.

Sammie: Having to be rescued was awful. I didn’t eat too well when I was a baby and I took a lot of abuse before my Dads adopted me.

Moxie: (expletive deleted) I’m so sorry. I can’t relate. I’ve always had a real cushy home. Me and my little brother Paddy. My people are really, really great. I love them. I love them. I love them.

Sammie: Are you trying to make kibble points with your humans by saying that?

Moxie: Yeah, what the (expletive deleted). But enough about me, what do you think of me? Ha-Ha. Seriously, when were you adopted?

Sammie: I love to tell the story. About six years ago one of my Dads, David was really sick. So my other Dad, Jack, decided to bring me home as a present to help out around the house and things.

Moxie: That’s cool. What kind of things did you do to help?

Sammie: Well for one thing, my hair looked worse than David’s, even though he was on chemo. So I made him laugh. They say that’s the best medicine, and I believe that, cause my Dad David got better. I stuck by his side the whole time he was sick.

Moxie: Do you mind if I ask how long your Dads have been together?

Sammie: 210 years. Oh, that’s dog years. I think you have to divide that by 7 for humans.

Moxie: Whatever that is, it’s a big number. You’re a lucky almost-Yorkie to have such a great family.

Sammie: That’s why I’m Poster Dog for this Safe Haven Fundraiser coming up—I want all dogs and cats who are in trouble to have a safe place to go so they can be adopted. So I hope lots of humans show up at the event on Sunday, July 9 at the Convention Center. I hear there will be great people food, and drinks and good stuff to get at the auction.

Moxie: Who’s going to be there?

Sammie: Humans, mostly. Although I hear that Frank McCraghan the auctioneer gets to bring his assistant, Mr. Strauss—a Canine-American.

Moxie: So what are you doing that night when your parents are out, heh-heh-heh.

Sammie: Are you asking me for a date?

Moxie: Yup. Come on over to my house to see my etchings. I’ve got a great fire hydrant print by local artist Roy Boucher. Whaddya say cutie?

Sammie: Um…..I think I’m busy that night with my friend Lizzie. I have to go now and eat my supper. Dad made me chicken and carrots.

Moxie: Hey, Ma, are you readin’ this? Sammie gets chicken and vegetables. What am I, chopped liver? What’s with the low fat Purina?

Sammie: Gotta go Moxie, my dinner is getting cold.

Moxie: Like mine is ever warm. Okay, Sammie, call me. It’s been a pleasure talking to you. And tell your Dads and all their helpers I said good luck on the Fundraiser for Safe Haven.

Sammie: Will do. And thanks for taking the time to interview me. Can you send me your picture?

Moxie: Sure. You send me one, too? And if you have any leftovers, how ‘bout a couple of wings and chicken legs. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.