by Bill Sievert

Acting with unusual speed, both houses of Congress passed (and President Bush has signed) the Mychal Judge Act, named for the New York firefighter chaplain who was gay and who was killed in the line of duty during the attacks. Under previous law, only legally married spouses, children, or parents of public-safety workers were allowed to receive death benefits.

According to the Judge Act, the money now can be paid to named beneficiaries, including same-sex or opposite-sex domestic partners. The law, which was co-sponsored in the Senate by Delaware’s Joe Biden, doesn’t resolve the problem for everyone only public-safety officers with specifically designated beneficiaries but it is a significant move in the right direction. It also points out the urgency for gay men and women to have (and continually update) legally recorded wills. It’s also important to have one’s life partner specifically listed as beneficiary on insurance policies, investment accounts and other important legal documents. If there is no question about one’s intent, it’s more difficult for either a private party or a government bureaucracy to deny one’s final wishes.

The Human Rights Campaign is congratulating President Bush for signing the Judge Act into law, and that seems an appropriate response. (Perhaps brief letters of appreciation to him are in order, as well as to the Congressional sponsors.) Although it is a mere “baby step,” the law sets a precedent for fair and equitable treatment of gay people. It should be expanded to include benefits for the surviving partners of the other gay folks who lost their lives last September, and those who will do so in the future.

Speaking of “baby steps,” while big brother Bush was signing the death-benefits law, his younger sibling Jeb, the Florida governor, was continuing to fight gay adoptions in a federal appeals court in Atlanta. The case is being argued around the notion that a state has the right to set “a moral tone” for its people. An argument that denies the rights of citizens in defense of “moral tone” is always a slim and scary one. After all, Hitler’s regime used just such a theory to justify its campaign to purge Germany and all of Europe of people the Fuehrer considered to be undesirables.

But, if the state of Florida or the courts feel obliged to consider the “moral tone” of gay parenting, they really ought to take a look at a new film called Daddy & Papa by Miami documentary maker Johnny Symons. In fact, all Americans should see this important as well as entertaining movie, which premiered at the Sundance Film Festival and is now a hit on the festival circuit throughout North America. (Perhaps it will show up at the Rehoboth Beach Independent Film Festival this fall.)

Symons gives us an intimate look at several pairs of gay dads and their happily adopted kids all of them children who probably never would have had parents otherwise. He deftly contrasts the normalcy of gay adoption in California with the sorry state of Florida, the nation’s most backwards. In California, an adoption-court judge steps out from behind his bench to shake hands with a pair of new daddies and hug their child. The judge tugs at his robe and asks the youngster if he’d ever seen a man in a long black dress before. Everyone laughs at this warm-hearted moment, part of the daily routine for a judge who presides over dozens of adoptions by gay parents each month.

This is a heart-warming movie, but it pulls no punches in dealing with the challenges (as well as the rewards) of parenthood for gay men. We see prospective gay fathers sweating out the waiting process (just like straight applicants must do) from psychiatric evaluations to CPR classes even case workers showing up at their homes to measure the slats in their staircases to make sure a small child can’t squeeze through.

Most of the adoptees shown in the documentary are from among the estimated 50,000 African-American children in need of homes in this country. “It’s a challenge that a lot of gay men are not really ready for,” says one Caucasian dad who expresses concern that “the son I’m raising will grow up to be feared on the streets by many white people.”

It’s something of a two-way street, as many African Americans fear gay people. In the film, a black foster mother at first objects to a gay couple’s adoption of her charge, Zachary, on religious grounds. But, after getting to know the guys who hope to adopt him, the foster mom finds their home to be “so filled with love” that she begs to be kept around as “granny.” Says one of the dads with a sigh, “We counted on a child joining our family, but not a fundamentalist Christian.”

There are plenty of funny moments, such as when little Zachary, a basketball-loving jock, comes waltzing in the front door wearing a neighbor woman’s high heels. The look of shock and consternation on the dads’ faces is priceless. When his fathers take him to a picnic with other kids who have gay parents, they immediately notice that the parking area is full of Volvo station wagons. Within days, they’ve purchased one, too. They’re just like any other American family, keeping up with the Joneses.

Daddy & Papa is a story of the normalcy and naturalness of families headed by gay people. Its frank and frequently poignant message is that hard work, love and commitment -not gender or sexual orientation-are what constitute a good home. Even for the committed, Daddy & Papa is a thoughtful reminder of that simple truth. For those who are still frightened by the thought of gay adoptions, viewing this movie can be much more than a baby step toward enlightenment.