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I’ve always loved to read the
newspapers. Ever since I was in grade school, my mom encouraged me to read
the newspaper so I would know what was going on in the world. I can
remember us both at the dinner table, she with one section of the
Baltimore Sun or the Baltimore News Post (which has since gone under), and
I with another, passing it along once we were finished.
My
brothers never really read the papers, except my oldest brother, Bill.
They didn’t seem as interested in world or even local events. Most of my
family got their news from the television, a big thing when I was growing
up. My dad read the Morning Sun paper, but never the evening papers. I
still read a variety of papers, from the local newspapers to papers
delivered to the gym—like The New York Observer (my favorite) and The
Wall Street Journal.
Of
course, we get every news magazine, too. I get upset if my Time, Newsweek,
U.S. News, or even Business Week is late. I do not get my news from a
computer. There’s something to be said for actually having your
information in your hands and being able to get back to it when you need
to relax or expand your mind.
Some
sources are very interesting and informative, and then some are pretty
goofy and strange. You be the judge.
Did
you know that now, because of the style of bearing our midriffs, you can
have your bellybutton surgically enhanced? No kidding. What shape is your
bellybutton? Is it elliptical, T-shaped, round, or oval? Do you care?
Well, it seems a lot of people do, especially now. The most popular shape
is the one most favored by plastic surgeons, the slim oval which actually
looks pretty close to a keyhole. So I ask you, when was the last time you
really checked out your bellybutton? After reading this, I bet it was just
now, right? Made ya look!
With
the advent of low-rise jeans, tube tops, halter tops, or even topless
looks (really?), we’re now in the age where a tight, youthful
bellybutton is the hip thing. And having a ring through it is very “with
it.” Just look at Britney Spears. Many of you are staring at her
bellybutton every chance you get because she has a near-perfect one. And
wouldn’t you want one, too?
As a
result, tummy tucks have more than tripled in the past decade. This is
being driven by the rising demand from baby boomers in search of a more
youthful appearance. Even professional body builders are getting an
umbilicoplasty (bellybutton surgery). Top names in the pro circuit like
Marcus Ruhl and Mr. Olympia Ronnie Coleman have had their big buttons
re-shaped.
And
now we go from navels to yep, you guessed it, nipples. I saw this in The
Wall Street Journal, that really progressive newspaper that had to let us
know about the latest craze: nipple enhancements. So now, you really can
say to the lady in the check out lane, “Momma, your headlights are
on.”
Guys,
don’t laugh, because you’re getting them re-worked too. It seems that
one third of all nipple enhancement surgeries are for men. Now I could
make all kinds of titillating jokes, but I’ll refrain from that.
Just
why are we going in for this type of surgery? Well, it’s good
old-fashioned ego. From skin-tight t-shirts to see-through gauzy fabrics,
we are now putting our nips at the forefront.
How
much will this enhancing surgery cost? Patients will pay anywhere from
$1,500 to $8,000 so that they can have prominent nipples protruding
through their clothing. This is purely a cosmetic procedure, so I really
doubt that your insurance company will be willing to pay for it.
But
to those who really can’t afford the costly surgery, hold on there,
there’s hope for you, too. There’s a less invasive and cheaper
alternative to surgery. A Minnesota company called BodyPerks (no kidding)
makes synthetic rubber nipples to tuck into a bra. Sorry guys, they’re
not available for you yet. The BodyPerks nipples took off with sales of
over 200,000 pairs once they were featured on HBO’s Sex and the City,
where they made a cameo appearance in one episode.
And
now a little food for thought. It seems that U.S. News published an
article about a study tying soda consumption with obesity, especially for
children. Well, the all-powerful soda lobby was really
upset—outraged—that they’d been singled out for blame. Within a
month’s time, the National Soft Drink Association released its own study
saying that the researchers’ information was flawed and untrue. And
guess what, it seems that they also paid the American Dietetic
Association, with 70,000 members, to issue a statement saying that
carbonated sodas “are a part of a well-balanced diet.” Way to go,
dieticians. Talk about a sell-out. Since when does downing a can of bubble
water that contains nine tablespoons of sugar become part of a balanced
diet for your kid?
Doesn’t
anyone read the nutrition labels? Or does that matter? I bet kids drink
more soda than water. How frustrating. It’s just completely empty
calories. While a few sodas here and there won’t do much damage, when it
becomes the main source of fluid intake, there’s a problem.
Rick
Moore is a personal trainer certified by the American Fitness
Professionals & Associates. Visit his club, Rick’s Fitness &
Health, in Milton, Delaware or www.ricksfitness.net,
or call 302-684-3669.
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