I was struck by a recent ultimatum handed down to a gay father by a judge in Idaho, not because the judge’s action was particularly unusual, but because it was so blatant in its bias and ignorance. These days, when handing down anti-gay rulings, much of the judiciary, even in conservative states, has at least had the common sense to try to cover openly anti-gay sentiment with some kind of smoke screen. It is, I suppose, progress of a sort, when being openly anti-gay is out of fashion, or at least makes a homophobe nervous enough to try to cover up his actions.

But apparently, it’s still perfectly in vogue to be anti-gay in Idaho, even if you sit on the bench.

In a custody battle, Idaho county judge Mark Riddoch ruled that a gay father could only have visitation rights to his two children on the condition that the father “is not residing in the same house with his male partner.”

As well as being disturbing on face value for its bias and total lack of scientific understanding about child rearing, the ruling is critical for another important reason: It could set precedent in Idaho. The courts there have not ruled on the rights of gay and lesbian parents.

It’s no surprise why the judge ruled the way he did. He is convinced that having a gay parent living with a same-sex partner could somehow affect the well being of the children. And he’s right.

Just about every respected study ever done shows that same-sex couples do at least as good a job of raising children as do heterosexual couples. As a matter of fact, when it comes to having two mommies, studies show that children may actually have a small advantage in a lesbian-run home compared to a heterosexual home.

There is, of course, a mountain of credible scientific and psychological evidence supporting same-sex parenting. And plenty of nationally renowned organizations, such as the American Psychological Association, have long given their support to the cause. Indeed, just this past February, the American Academy of Pediatrics—one of the more cautious and conservative professional organizations—not only made a bold statement in favor of gay parenting and allowing the partners of gay parents to adopt their children (in what has become known by the moniker “second-parent adoption”), but it went a big step further: The Academy encouraged its members to advocate for laws that support the parenting of gay couples because it is an issue that affects the health and welfare of children. What a sweet twist on the old boogey-man myth.

Unfortunately, the judiciary in many states, such as Idaho, North Dakota, Ohio, Florida, and Michigan, to name but a few states that have recently ruled against gay and lesbian parents, is not keeping up with the science.

As sad and frustrating and angering as all of this is, none of it is new in the Idaho story.

But what is moving in the story is the queer notion that by living in a loving relationship, the gay father is choosing personal love over the love for his children. Naturally, no one should have to make that choice, because they are not mutually exclusive. Indeed, as the long list of studies show, by giving your child a more stable home with a partner, gay and lesbian parents are acting in the best interest of the children.

There’s no doubt that the father in Idaho, Theron McGriff, loves his two children dearly.

So much so that, given the incredibly difficult circumstances imposed upon him by a Neanderthal judge, he was willing to take extraordinary steps to preserve the right to see his children.

Of course, McGriff has appealed his case to the Idaho Supreme Court, and says he will take his fight as far as he has to and as far as he can in the legal system to maintain the right to see his children.

But in an extraordinary, if heart-breaking, move to make sure a gay father and his children are not separated by an uneducated and prejudiced system, McGriff’s lover recently moved out of the home they bought together and into a mobile home so that the court couldn’t prevent McGriff from seeing his children.

If that isn’t a testimony of this gay couple’s love—for each other and for the kids—I don’t know what is.

Mubarak Dahir receives e-mail at MubarakDah@aol.com.