Edinburgh, by Alexander Chee, 2001
Alexander Chee, in his novel Edinburgh,
tackles a topic that is currently looming between gay people and
acceptance. The debate over gay priests and pedophiles still occupies
the pages of many magazines, journals, and newspapers; they are
completely unrelated, but nonetheless linked in the minds of much of
society. It is frustrating to realize exactly how many people do not
recognize the (enormous) difference between the two. Chee’s main
character, Fee, explores the impact of pedophilia on his life from
childhood to adult as he realizes his own sexuality.
Big Eric is Fee’s choir director, a
married man with a foster child and a new baby. He handpicks a small
group of boys with
incredible voices and teaches them to practice self-discipline. They
spend most of their free time singing with Eric, involved in few other
extracurricular activities. The first summer after being picked for the
group, Fee is invited on a special retreat for the leaders of each
section of the choir. They spend a few days camping with Eric, and it is
here that Fee learns about Eric’s secret obsession with the young boys
he directs. But Fee, who is beginning to discover he is in love with his
best friend, does not realize immediately that the sexual acts Eric asks
the boys to perform are wrong. Fee is confused because he, too, likes
boys. The abuse continues at the retreat for the entire choir that same
summer. Then, unexpectedly, Eric’s foster son drowns himself in the
camp’s lake, leading Fee to question the impact of Eric’s actions.
“I thought I knew what Big Eric was. I
thought I knew because I thought it was the same as me. We are both in
love with boys. I know what Big Eric watches, now, though, in me. He
sees that I know, we are not the same. I did not know before and now I
do, and so he watches this knowledge in me, a light moving closer slowly
through some faint dark.”
He understands that Eric’s behavior and
his own feelings are very different, a perceptive observation for such a
young person, especially one that is being abused. His relationship with
Eric changes; Eric prefers the same blond boys that Fee does, anyway.
Eric continues to take advantage of many of the boys on various choir
trips, but eventually is caught. He and his wife are both imprisoned,
leaving their baby to be raised by his grandparents.
Unfortunately, the damage has been done.
Chee follows the small group of boys
through Fee’s eyes as they grow older. Several of them, including
Fee’s first love, Peter, commit suicide. Fee manages to escape this
fate, but finds himself emotionally lost as he grows older. He loses his
voice to puberty, but continues to be plagued with the inability to have
a healthy relationship. Even in college, he loves other men that he
cannot be with, men that look like a grown-up version of his childhood
love, now dead. Fee develops impossible relationships with other lost
souls, relationships based on a sex and drug enhanced co-dependency.
Hope does eventually arrive as Fee finds pleasure in a man who is, at
least temporarily, available to him.
Chee shifts the novel’s focus and voice
between Fee and another young boy, Warden, with a dream-like quality of
writing. Slowly, it becomes evident that Warden is the 17 year-old
student of the adult Fee. The two develop a connection of sorts; Warden,
as he discovers he is gay, is very much like Fee was. What’s more,
Warden looks a lot like Fee’s first love, Peter.
It becomes increasingly difficult for
Fee, who is happily coupled, to resist the younger boy’s crush. He
finds himself distracted by the memory of his feelings for Peter, but at
the same time repulsed by the idea that he would ever act like Eric.
Although Warden is not exactly the child that Fee was at the time of the
abuse, the relationship would be wrong.
Fairly
early on, readers learn that Warden is actually the youngest son of Big
Eric. He has grown up without knowing what crime his father committed;
the two have had no contact since Big Eric’s incarceration. Tension
builds in the story as Warden and Fee grow closer to learning the truth
about each other as their relationship continues to grow. Fee’s
character becomes illogical and confused by memories in his past. Chee
creates a fiery climax to the novel as the truth emerges and Warden
confronts Eric alone. Without exposing the ending, readers are left on a
hopeful note in what is—although dark—one of the best novels I read
this summer. Truly an excellent example of serious fiction; Chee handles
the topic and his gay male characters well.
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