It must have happened, I read it in the Washington Post. There it was, right
smack in the middle of the Weddings page in the August 10 edition, photo and
all.
Vancouver Nuptials for Bonnie Quesenberry and Fay Jacobs
Fay Jacobs and Bonnie Quesenberry were married August 22nd in a civil
ceremony at Le Soleil Hotel in Vancouver, British Columbia. Marriage
Commissioner Karen Ell officiated. Ms. Jacobs, a graduate of American
University , Washington, D.C., is executive director for Rehoboth Beach Main
Street, a non-profit organization in Rehoboth Beach, DE. From 1982 to 1999,
she worked as director of communications for Montgomery Village Foundation.
Her parents are Mort Rubenstein and the late Shirley Rubenstein. Her father
and stepmother, Joan Windell Rubenstein reside in Somers, NY.
Ms. Quesenberry, a Baltimore native, owned and operated
Quesenberry Dental Lab in the area for more than 20 years, where she was
affiliated with Johns Hopkins Hospital among other clients. In 1999, she
relocated the lab to Delaware. She is also an accomplished designer of
hand-made gold jewelry. Her parents are Natalie and Ray Quesenberry of
Frederick, MD, formerly of Baltimore. The couple has been together for 21
years.
Whew! It’s been a mighty long engagement. And, I might
add, as soon as we were pronounced wife and wife, Canada did not fall into
the sea.
Getting the announcement in the Post was actually more
difficult than the wedding arrangements. At first they wanted to publish it
under "Celebrations" since they called it a civil union. "Oh
no," I said, "we have a marriage license from Canada."
"Okay then," said the clerk, "fax it to me
and we’ll run it with weddings!"
As
for the wedding itself, the short version of this tale is that our quartet,
Fay and Bonnie and Bob and Larry, arrived in Vancouver, BC on the evening of
August 21.
Awaiting us were two brides bouquets and two groom’s
boutonnières sent to our hotel by the ever-thoughtful adopted son-the-actor
of Fay and Bonnie. We all had jitters.
On Friday morning at 8 we walked a few blocks to the
insurance office where marriage licenses are bestowed. "Oh, yes, come
right back here," said the clerk, whereupon the boys sat at one desk
and the girls another. "Oh, I see," said the clerk, without a hint
of judgment. In fact, she apologized as she crossed out the word groom on
our application and hand-wrote a second "bride." She added,
"our new paperwork hasn’t come in yet."
With shaky signatures, we signed on the dotted lines, paid
our license fee and, clutching our marriage licenses (!), walked back to the
hotel.
"We’re getting married at 10 a.m., is it possible to
use this back lobby of the hotel for the ceremony?" we asked the cute,
blond, earring-wearing boy-toy concierge. He loved the idea, and told us he’d
try to keep people from loitering and leaving their luggage there.
We called Marriage Commissioner Karen Ell and asked her to
meet us in the lobby at 10. "My husband will join me, to take pictures
if you’d like," she said. We liked.
They arrived, all smiles, and following a flurry of
signatures, Bob and Larry indicated that Bonnie and I should go first. At
this point I have to say that my memory gets a little foggy. All I know is
that instead of the sterile civil ceremony I expected, it was an incredibly
sweet and personal few minutes. We stood looking at each other, glancing at
our stalwart witnesses, repeating after Karen, smiling, fidgeting with the
rings, and soaking up every minute of the event. I certainly remember
savoring the words as I repeated after the Marriage Commissioner "I solemnly declare that I do not know of
any lawful impediment why I, Fay may not be joined in matrimony to
Bonnie." Emphasis on lawful.
The brides kissed and made way for the second part of this
daily double, as Bob and Larry were lawfully wed. Near the end of their
ceremony—a ceremony different from, and equally lovely as ours—a tear
ran down Robert’s cheek, followed by Larry misting up; then Bonnie went, I
followed and one of the best photos by Bob the Commissioner’s husband
shows us all falling apart. Even Karen the Commissioner started to sniffle.
The formalities concluded, several heterosexual couples in
the lobby came up to congratulate us all, and Bonnie and I tossed our
bouquets to two little girls who were in the lobby with their parents. Gee,
I wonder if they will grow up to marry lesbians?
We did notice that the handsome young bellhop had stopped
work to watch the ceremony and he was grinning from ear to ear as he went
back to work.
We ended the morning with a champagne brunch at a lovely
restaurant along English Bay in Vancouver, where our friendly concierge had
made the reservations and sent us congratulatory canapés.
It was a splendid and surprisingly lovely affair—and our
only regret is that our friends and family could not have been there to
share it with us.
I know this column doesn’t include my usual complement of
whining and snarling, and I apologize for the mush. But we’re Sadie, Sadie
Married Ladies and we can’t stop smiling.
Back to Top of Page 
