VIEW Point

It is about defeating a possible constitutional amendment banning gay marriage. Those are two very different things. I believe we must use all our resources to defeat this amendment if it is introduced. We need every friend we have voting against it, even if they don’t support our right to marry (as that term is popularly defined in our culture).

I have many passionate arguments over the dinner table with friends, one thing we all agree on is the priority for the next two years has to be to take back Congress and the White House from the conservative Republicans. The names Bush, DeLay, Santorum and Frist come to mind first and foremost as the enemies of securing equal rights for the GLBT community.

They equate us with evil and sickness and do everything they can to ensure that those that pay the bill to elect them, the right wing made up of Pat Robertson and his ilk, will get their way.

Our GLBT organizations are having a debate on the marriage issue. I believe it’s about time for a summit, but I hope the focus will be on derailing any federal legislation or Constitutional amendments banning gay marriage, rather than spending time now on how to promote it.

At the recent HRC forum in which candidates who support all of our issues, including civil unions with all the rights of married persons, were hissed, we hurt ourselves. I am sure that Senator Frist and Congressman DeLay were gloating over this. Will we do, as we have done before, shoot ourselves in the foot? We will if we let this issue separate us from those who have given us support over many years in the areas that we have deemed important? Will a marriage license guarantee a job? Will it guarantee housing? Will it do anything to stop hate crimes against our community? And of the millions of GLBT citizens in our nation, how many will even take advantage of the opportunity?

Let me be clear, I am for the right to marry. We deserve every right that every other citizen has. But there are other rights I want to ensure that we secure first. I don’t want to live in a nation where I fought for the right to marry but can’t serve in the military. Where I fought for the right to marry but instead got judges that allow people to be detained without legal representation. Where I fought for the right to marry but instead got judges who make abortion illegal. Where I fought for the right to marry but instead got legislators who cut funds to fight HIV/AIDS in our communities.

Let us not lose sight of the real fight for justice. By pushing away friends and supporters and making them jeopardize their chances for election by publicly supporting this one issue, we may just end up electing more right wing bigots. For example, we have a real chance to elect a Democratic Senator from Oklahoma if Congressman Brad Carson runs. Forcing him to take a public position on gay marriage will end that chance. Decent people like Brad Carson will support our right to marry if we force him, but he will then not be in the Congress. The real losers of that strategy will be the GLBT community.

We should be talking to the Brad Carsons of the world and helping them deal with the issue if Senator Frist moves forward with his constitutional amendment. We should explain that we will help and accept him voting against an amendment without coming out for gay marriage.

He can do so based on the fact that he will not support a constitutional amendment that will usurp states rights. We should help him and others craft this message to the people of Oklahoma and other states, in a way that will allow them to be elected, and not try to push these supporters into public positions that will end their chances of election.

The litmus test we need to develop for candidates is not that they support gay marriage now, but that they support our basic rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Support our right to not be discriminated against in housing and employment and the right to live our lives openly and freely. And I would add to that one more test. Who will they vote for to lead their party? Will they support someone with the views of a Tom Delay or Rick Santorum, or will they support someone with the views of a Nancy Pelosi or Tom Daschle. That is what will really determine our future and the future of the next generations of GLBT persons.