This is probably the most nauseating article I’ve come across in a while. It deals with the Japanese and their love of ice cream. Now, how can that be a bad thing? Well, the Japanese have acquired a taste for more-shall we say-adventurous flavors. While we Americans like our vanilla, rocky road, and cookie dough, the Japanese like their ice cream flavored with eels, or clams, or salmon eggs, or even soft shell turtles.

But weird ice cream is hardly unique to Japan. Gosh, I hope you’re not eating while reading this, but even we Americans have sold sauerkraut and minestrone ice cream as an April Fool’s Day special.

The trend in Japan is to produce ice creams that are unique to the country and its regions. Dave had green tea ice cream when he visited Japan. It sure sounds fishy to me. I think I’ll pass on that one.

Just this past week, the headline story on CNN was that McDonald’stm is changing its deep-frying oil. They’ll be using a new frying oil that’s lower in artery-clogging fats. Beginning in October, the company will switch to an oil that contains only half the trans-fatty acids (the bad stuff) than the oil does now. This is news? It was billed as a major step forward for health, but it took nearly 10 years for McDonald’stm to make the switch. I guess it was about time.

Here’s the clincher. The new heart-healthier Micky-D’s fried foods will still contain the same amount of fat and calories. I hope people don’t think this is a license to eat until they burst.

That’s a phenomenon I call the “Snackwells Effect.” People were chowing down on box after box of Snackwells cookies because they were heavily marketed as being “fat-free.” However, they didn’t realize that the fine print said these cookies had the same number of calories as ordinary “full-fat” cookies. Where’s the benefit?

I guess it’s like going to the movies. The experts say we engage in something called “willing suspension of disbelief.” We know there’s really no fire-breathing alien, but we still flinch when we see it on screen. Just like we know there’s nothing special about a fast-food sub, but we want to believe that it will make us lose weight.

Many of us have friends who live in Washington, DC, and many of us commute to our second homes here from DC. Do you want to know a secret about your water in DC? There’s a treatment facility (the Washington Aqueduct) that provides drinking water to the many residents of DC and the surrounding area. According to a recent editorial in The Wall Street Journal, in purifying the water, the aqueduct creates thousands of tons of chemically-treated sludge a year. Now, what do they do with it all? They dump it into the Potomac River in the dead of night. This is really illegal, but the Army Corps of Engineers is doing it anyway,

because they’ve obtained a special discharge permit from the Environment Protection Agency. They’ve admitted to dumping water that’s way over the limits for pollution.

The EPA tried to justify the dumping by claiming that it protects endangered fish by forcing them to flee polluted areas and escape fisherman. It seems we need a government to police the government. It’s the old “do as I say, not as I do” argument. The citizens of DC should be really mad.

And for more news and views, we now offer you the new “Barbie Drug.” What’s that? Haven’t heard of it? It’s called melanotan II. It’s a tanning pill that came out in 1991. Pop one in your mouth and you tan. But it had some side effects that nobody was expecting. You all know the saying, “there’s a party in my pants and it makes me want to dance?” Well, this little goodie was tested on men. While they got more tanned, they noticed something happening in their pants, too.

Melanotan II works on the brain center that handles sexual arousal. Look out, Viagra. And then they found out later that it also arouses females. The company that produced the drug has farmed it out to two different lab companies with the hope that one lab will isolate the part that tans you, while the other will isolate the stimulating part. Guess which one will prove more popular? The results should be released soon.

My last bizarre story actually comes from a highly respected men’s magazine. It infuriated me. They listed a seven-day workout, with a different exercise for each day. Well, for Monday, they advised that you walk on a treadmill. No harm there. That is, until you read that they want you to walk sideways at 3 mph, then change that to walking backward.

Do you know how dangerous that is? It’s not only dangerous, it’s stupid. Treadmills should be used to walk or run facing the front, like they’re supposed to be used.

And to add insult to potential injury, they actually showed a model doing the exact movements described. Don’t even try it. You could damage the treadmill. You won’t be able to reach the controls easily, either. And if you lose your footing, you’ll cause yourself serious injury, because the treadmill won’t stop on its own. These guys ought to have their heads examined.

Rick Moore is a personal trainer certified by the American Fitness Professionals & Associates. Visit him at www.ricksfitness.net, or call 302-684-0316.