CAMP Spirit

In this election year, when one candidate has opted to make the issue of gay marriage a sort of litmus-test of true Americanism, as I remember the "traditional" weddings at which I have officiated in the past six years here at the beach, I find it ironic that each one, without exception, has included these words from the Book of Ruth in the Hebrew Scriptures: "Do not press me to leave you or to turn back from following you! Where you go, I will go; where you lodge, I will lodge; your people shall be my people, and your God my God. Where you die, I will die—there will I be buried. May God deal harshly with me if even death parts me from you!" Why do I find these beautiful sentiments ironic? Because they were spoken from one woman to another. Heterosexual couples through the ages have found meaning in these words; husbands and wives have covenanted with one another by using these promises as a model. Ironic indeed.

Naomi was a Hebrew woman who went with her husband and two sons to a foreign country, Moab, when there was a famine in her native town of Bethlehem. While they were living and prospering in Moab, Naomi’s husband died. Her two sons, who had taken Moabite wives named Ruth and Orpah, then died as well, leaving the three women alone. In the Middle East of three thousand years ago, a woman’s place, value, and destiny were determined by her relationship to a man; she was under the control of her father, brother, husband, or son; if she had none of these, she was to be cared for by her nearest male relative or was relegated to the fringes of society. Orpah and Ruth, young women still, had the ability to return to their families and/or marry again. Naomi, however, living in a foreign land and having lost her husband and sons to death, had no male relative nearby and few other options.

Each of the three women had a choice before her. Naomi chooses to return home to Bethlehem. Orpah, after some hesitation, decides to stay in Moab. But Ruth, amazingly, decides to go with Naomi and speaks the words of love and commitment quoted above and remembered at weddings ever since. Each of these women looked into her heart and decided what was important for her. Each one located her authentic self and followed its leading. I believe that each of us is called by Spirit to do the same thing in these troubled, uncertain times—to find our authentic self, to love it, to cherish it and bring it forth. This means making tough decisions; it often means "coming out" as a person of faith or a person of integrity or a person of alternative lifestyle.

Empowering our authentic selves is not always easy or conflict-free. Later on in the Book of Ruth, we find that Naomi and Ruth are criticized for casting their lot with each other. When they arrive in Bethlehem, the other women of the town look askance at them and wonder what they are about; nevertheless, Ruth and Naomi persevere and create for themselves an alternative sort of family. In the same way, those in the Rainbow Community who stand up for what they believe are sometimes perceived by others within that Rainbow Community as too strident in their demand of equal rights or equal treatment. "Why can’t they just shut up?" "They’re spoiling it for the rest of us!" "If they’ll just be patient, things will change." Really? Tell that to the drag queens at Stonewall, to Harvey Milk and Urvashi Vaid, to Matthew Shepard and Ellen DeGeneres.

There are consequences to the choices we make. There is opposition. Others of different mindsets (friend and foe) are threatened. But that does not mean we stop choosing to be ourselves or striving for our dreams; nor do we cease accessing our authentic selves and creating change. R. Laurence Moore, in Religious Outsiders and the Making of America, states, "Opposition gives value to struggle and inculcates self-confidence." Jeffrey Escoffier, in American Homo, tells us, "Public discourse has declined because powerful forces have restricted the terms of debate. Political debate in a democracy relies on the clash of values and differences. In the public sphere, the cultural differences and social values of diverse communities should help fashion public policies and political goals."

2004 seems scary in many ways. Conservatism and intolerance make silence or assimilation or the closet seem like tempting options, but they’re not. Each one of us can and must choose every day to embrace our God-given individuality and our divine birthright of authenticity, integrity, and diversity. In a world that seems to say "no" too much, in a culture that says "conform," in a community that says "wait," Spirit urges us not to allow our authentic selves to be buried or obscured by clever rhetoric. 2004 will be a year to remember, but if nobody knows who you are, how will you be remembered? Silence = Invisibility = Death!