Like many of you, I’ve spent the last few days reading commentaries and blogs by leading and anonymous gay rights activists on Election 2004, "what went wrong," and how we should respond. San Francisco talk-show host Karel writes that we were wrong to ever push for gay "marriage" when basic rights are what we need most: we should have left the M-word out and concentrated on civil unions. I agree, but it’s spilt milk for now, and Karel doesn’t offer any suggestions on how to proceed.

On advocate.com, Beth George argues that various gay rights’ groups need to merge into one more powerful, more focused group if we want to get somewhere by the next election. I dismiss this as unrealistic and not even ideal: we’re a diverse community with widely ranging ideas of what "activism" means, and I believe there is value in having both guerilla-style and more conservative, near-assimilationist groups out there. If becoming one group is our focus, we may end up spending all our time arguing about that group’s platform, presentation, and program.

Did I say "may"? Will. And will without grace.

There are simpler things we can and must do now.

Number one: if you are gay, closeted, and in the military—especially if you are in or are being sent to Iraq—please come out NOW. If you are gay, closeted, and recruited or drafted, please come out then. This will put the Republicans in the embarrassing position of either having to lift the ban (for it IS still a ban) on gays in the military, thereby alienating those who voted in Bush for "moral reasons," or of scrambling to find more heterosexual sons and daughters to take from their families to serve in Iraq…for the sole reason that gays can’t openly serve. Doubtless, families will not be happy to see their straight children forced to go when "the queers don’t have to." Disgruntlement will ensue—the kind we need to affect the next election.

Next: military or no, I beseech all closeted people—celebrities as well as us regular folks, and also gays in heterosexual marriages—to come out this year. It is time. The Down Low has got to go. If you are afraid to come out to your family, consider this: Mary Cheney did. If you fear you will need shelter—will be kicked out, or (if you’re married) cut off without money—there are those in the gay community who will support you, who will help. If you need to stay at my house, you can (depending on how many people read this—it’s only a three-bedroom <grin>). It is time. When the evangelicals see how many of us there really, really are, perhaps they will begin to see us as "God’s children" after all...and let the Bible’s few words on homosexuality dwindle in significance as much as its words on what to eat, what to wear, and how many days one is "unclean" after one has one’s period have (not to mention the penalty for taking God’s name in vain: death). I know that’s a far-fetched hope, but we need to do something to impress this community, one that has demonstrated that it is not interested in facts, reasoning, or "healing dialogue" any more than Muslim extremists are. As my partner did a fair (only fair) job last night of convincing me not to set fire to myself at the 2005 inauguration, coming out en masse is admittedly a back-up idea. But we need to. You need to. It is time.

Number three: get over, if you have it, any residual anger at Eminem. His homophobic lyrics came early in his career, and were obviously the result of a young, pretty man feeling threatened and needing to prove himself (now he just grabs his crotch instead). See his video for "Mosh." You can put in "Eminem Mosh" on google.com and get to it. If Barack Obama is the new Martin Luther King, Jr., Eminem is the new Malcolm X. See the video. Buy a black hoodie. And join me in wearing it on the mall on Inauguration Day. Straight anti-Bush folk can (PLEASE) do this, too. We need a sea of black hoodies—a silent sea, perhaps. No signs, no chants; just the uniform. When you see the video, you’ll understand.