LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
Life Coaching: The Ups and Downs of Relationships |
by Mike Linardi |
As our lives evolve, our relationships ebb and flow. Partners, friends and family members can at one moment lift you high and at another moment take you down. As we learn to love ourselves and practice extreme self-care, we will ultimately allow ourselves only healthy relationships, surrounding ourselves with people in our lives who embrace life and live for the moment. As you observe the relationships in your life, make an assessment of who you are drawn to. Who do you enjoy spending time with? Who makes you laugh? Who lifts you up, encourages and respects you? How do you feel when you're around these people? On the other hand, who, in your life drains you of your energy? Who brings you down? What is it about them that you find challenging? Chances are that they have a different value system than you, so when you're with them you feel uncomfortable and forced. What's happening is you're "out of integrity." You have certain values and needs that are core to your being. A value is a standard or principle that we are naturally drawn towards like sensitivity, compassion and adventure. Needs are things that we must have to function well, needs drive our behavior. We need to be acknowledged, respected and loved. We need peace, safety and comfort. People that we enjoy spending time with are people that share our same values and meet our needs. Those who challenge us may need to be taught how to respond to our needs. If you have a need to be respected, you may need to educate your partner, spouse or friend to satisfy that need. Tell them what respect means to you and thank them when you're shown respect. But also be prepared to walk away from those who are unable to fulfill your need. When your needs are fully met, it's much easier to orient your life around values. Relationships flow easier. Your life becomes healthy, happy and effortless! Mike Linardi is a personal Life Coach in Easton, Maryland. He can be reached for a complimentary session at 410-820-4757 or e-mail at mlinardi@friend.ly.net. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 10, No. 12, Aug. 25, 2000. |