LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
Gay 'n Gray |
by John Siegfried |
When I began thinking of Rehoboth as a full time retirement residence rather than a summer and weekend retreat, I happened to read William Mann's The Men From the Boys. The book is a mid-nineties tale of gay life and love with sex, drugs, AIDS, and cross generational twists on a Boston/Provincetown axis. The plot outlines the struggles of a gay couple trying to understand the differences between love, sex, and commitment within the family they've created. The Boston boys revel in their summer vacation and weekends in Provincetown, then burrow into Boston for the rest of the year. The same story could substitute Washington/Philadelphia/ Baltimore with Rehoboth as a the gay/lesbian summer community and not miss a beat. Mann has some choice observations of the frantic P'town summer gay scene and some choice observations on the fear of growing older: "Growing old is not for sissies, so they say. But sissies do get older." "The hair on my head thins out, while in my ears it sprouts cocky as crabgrass. My body might be pumped from an afternoon at the gym, but one hundred crunches a day can no longer dispel gravity's influence on my waist." He also catches the appeal of Provincetown in winter and the change of pace of off-season: "The sea holds such power in the winter, much more so than in the summer. It is fierce and fighting, not warm and seductive." "There's a rhythm to the off-season. It's very comforting, very enveloping." Rehoboth residents can make the same claim. I don't know a single Rehoboth resident who doesn't enjoy the "rhythm of the off-season." We welcome Labor Day with joy, not because summer's a bummer, but because we are ready for a change of pace. It's so nice to see the parking meters come down, to legally make a left off Rehoboth Avenue, or to get a restaurant table without a wait or a reservation. I've always enjoyed the fact that in Rehoboth, seasonal change can be detected by the shops and restaurants that are open. About the same time the first hints of Fall appear, Lingo's market closes and brown paper begins to cover some shop windows. The weekdays are delightfully quiet and a biker's paradise but weekends are a whirl with the Jazz Festival, the Film Festival, Halloween parades and parties, and, of course, the busloads that flood the outlets for pre-Holiday shopping. The post-Labor Day pace continues right through New Year's Eve with parties and dinners galore and then, the first week of January, Rehoboth goes to sleepas dormant as any caterpillar in its cocoon, any bear in its den. But, come February, the Moon reopens for Valentine's Day; come March, a few shops pull the paper down and display their winter paint job; and, by April/May the clean up crescendo crests as Memorial Day approaches. Then it's full steam ahead as the boys of summer return. It's a way of watching the seasons change without checking the leaves on the trees. What intrigued me in The Men From The Boys is the author's criteria for what separates the one group from the other. Mann says, "It takes some getting used to...," but, "Living in Provincetown year-round is what separates the men from the boys." I'm sure that sticks with me because in the decision process of where to retire the "Men of Rehoboth" were an important factor. The full-timers, who are here during the cocoon days create their own community when all the summer watering holes are closed. This town has an increasing number of gay and lesbian full-time residents that add to the value of Rehoboth culturally, financially, philosophically, and are an integral part of our town. Many are in long term committed relationships that get little or no notice. The protagonist in The Men From The Boys, who is struggling to find the basis for a long term commitment, would do well to move to Rehoboth and take a lesson from Bob and Deane (together 33 years), Jim and Mike (30+), Peter and Dan (23), Fay and Bonnie (18), Ben and Michael (22). And that's an "off the top of my head" list of a few couples I could contact pre-publication. A more extensive list would fill the page. This is the unseen counter-balance of stability and commitment to the gay community's reputation for instability and promiscuity, which, in actual fact, are probably matched in heterosexual experience. But promiscuity sells, commitment doesn't. The Men of Rehoboth and the Women of Rehoboth, who make their home here year round, help make this a town with "room for all." They're here on cold foggy nights when the boardwalk is empty, when "quiet" moves toward "dead." Without them Rehoboth would have a different flavor, a different texture, and diminished appeal. Thank God not everyone goes back to Boston. Let's hear it for the Men and the Women of Rehoboth! John Siegfried, a retired association executive, resides in Rehoboth. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 10, No. 14, Oct. 20, 2000. |