LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
CAMPTalk: Cockeyed views |
by Bill Sievert |
It may sound cockamamie, but what follows is no cock-and-bull story. One of the fastest rising stars on American stages this year is a veteran performer that has had limited public exposure since breakthrough appearances in Oh, Calcutta! and during select concerts by Jim Morrison and the Doors in the 1960s. Now, thanks to an upsurge in theatrical free expression, this highly respected organic actor has experienced a sudden spurt to the top. I speak, of course, of the penis. Not only has it become a household word (due to a relaxation of language restrictions among broadcasters), but it also is being viewed with new interest by many theatergoers, thanks to such stage shows as Puppetry of the Penis and Beat the Cock. Thus far, the biggest attraction is Puppetry of the Penis, subtitled The Ancient Art of Genital Origami, which has been wowing viewers on Broadway and just opened "with testicular fortitude" in Los Angeles. The two-man stage production was created by two Aussies, Simon Morley and David "Friendy" Friend, who unleashed their unusual artistry in a national tour of their homeland in 1998, then took their act to London's West End before landing Off-Broadway at the (usually) distinguished John Houseman Theater. The premise of the show is what Morley describes as "genital gesticulations." Or, for the uninitiated, balloon-like "tricks with dicks." The actors (currently Daniel Lewry and Jim MacGregor in the New York production (yes, the producers actually found other guys with similar talents) make their stage entrance wearing nothing except Elvis-like robes and sneakers, and soon strip down to only their shoes. Draping their robes into frames around their mid-sections, they begin to stretch and twist their meat puppets into such shapely attractions as "the pelican" and "the baby kangaroo." As a big-screen TV blows up the images for those seated too far back in the theater to see all the finer details, the show gradually builds to its dramatic climax with contortionist renderings of "the Eiffel Tower" and "the Loch Ness Monster." The performers are highly trained stuntmen, so we cannot recommend that you act out their play with yourself at home. But you can get a pretty good idea of how these guys come up with their show-and-tell at the illustrated website: www.puppetryofthepenis.com. If you're thinking such a show is nothing more than a cheap excuse for gay guys to ogle a few organs, you're wrong. Tickets aren't cheap, and Puppetry of the Penis draws lots of women, as well. One female friend of mine who saw it last month summed up the experience as "feeling much the way one does when you see a couple fighting, or a dog pooping on the sidewalk: I shouldn't be witnessing this." But she admits, "Watching them swing their wangs around like lassos, I laughed the whole time." And, laughter is clearly the reason a show like Puppetry of the Penis is at the head of the pack. Likewise, Beat the Cock, a crowd-pleasing weekly stage attraction at Orlando's Parliament House. It's based on the old TV game show "Beat the Clock," a more serious revival edition of which is currently taping at nearby Universal Studios for the PAX cable network this fall. In the high-camp variation, audience participants vie for cash prizes as they attempt to perform crotchety stunts, such as a theater-wide blindfolded search for a dildo stuffed down the pants of one of the hosts. As a song called "The Wizard of Odds" counts off the time, the competitors must grab the secret cock before the rooster crows. To some people, playing such a game might seem like a humiliating way to earn a mere $50 prize. But nowadays, even a lot of straight boys aren't ashamed to show off their packages for the sheer sport of it or for a few bucks and 15 seconds of tubular fame. Take MTV's current game show, We Dare You. The emcees run around city streets and along beach boardwalks, offering young folks paltry sums to perform what once might have been considered degrading acts. For as little as a twenty-dollar bill, scores of studly "dudes" are willing to pull off their baggy jeans and don bikini-thong swimsuits (once regarded as the gayest of apparel), then subject themselves to such pranks as allowing live crabs to crawl up their thighs or having gooey mounds of pudding poured into their pouches. Most of the guys end up prancing around in front of the cameras, slapping their bare cheeks and projecting their bulges as if they were highly experienced lounge strippers. These kids apparently have learned a lot from their mentors on a longer-running MTV production, Jackass, a series in which the stars take turns bravely exposing themselves to all sorts of open-air hazards, such as skateboard-ramp jumping in jock straps and the way-cool athletic endeavor of naked pole-vaulting. To see all those cocksure young males willing to bare so many hardships to make something of (or with) themselves can warm the cockles of one's heart. At least it can if you're a good old-fashioned cockeyed optimist.Bill Sievert, a transplanted Delawarean, resides in Florida. He may be reached at allforthecause@aol.com. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 12, No. 12, August 23, 2002. |