May 08, 2009 - CAMP Talk

LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth

CAMP Talk

With a winning smile and hearty handshake, Jake is the kind of guy almost everyone likes from the moment they meet him. He is an energetic activist who volunteers for numerous worthwhile causes, including the Anti-Violence Project and several LGBT youth support organizations. He is definitely someone who fits the description "born leader." He was not, however, born into a male bodyand he is not shy about sharing that information.

In fact, Jake delights in trying to confuse new acquaintances about the gender identity of his pals. "Annie here looked a lot different before she transitioned," he recently told a group of activists while motioning toward a colleague. There followed an awkward moment of silence as several of the unknowing peered at Annie, searching for clues to her prior appearance as a male.

Then Annie laughed: "He's always saying that! Not that it matters, but I've always been comfortably female."

Jake's ruddy face broke into a slightly wicked smile, putting everyone on notice that he has no problem poking fun at gender identity. His attitude seems to be, if it didn't matter so much to so many people, it wouldn't matter at all. He's all about breaking down the walls. "Feel free to ask me anything about transitioning," he'll say. "If I don't know the answer, I'll look it up."

His nonchalance comes as a surprise even to some of his colleagues in what I now often refer to as the TLGB community. Just as I alternate my use of LGBT and GLBT, I see no reason transgender folks should routinely be last on our list of allied queers. Many of them have long felt like token add-ons to our alphabet stew, despite the fact that we share many common concerns and experiences as people stigmatized by our identity and/or orientation. (Gender identity, of course, is who you innately are; sexual orientation is who you innately like.) Consider, for example, the federal Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA), a bill first introduced in Congress in 1994. Although transgender activists helped draft the original language, it took nearly a decade for them to persuade gay leaders, including the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), to include trans-inclusive language in the bill. Finally, in 2003 ENDA's wording was revised by its sponsors to cover transgender people.

Even though 36-year-old Jake, who has transitioned only within the past few years, presents himself with unusual self-assurance and a delightful degree of warmth, he is bothered that trans folks are not fully accepted within the gay community.

"Isn't it because a lack of familiarity breeds contempt?" I asked him. "As with straight acceptance of gay men and lesbians, the more they get to know us, the more they like and support us."

Jake concurs that a dearth of personal relationships is one reason many in our community fail to relate to people of transgendera broad term that covers a variety of persons including (among others) those who undergo sex reassignment surgery and those who have hormone therapy but do not opt for operations. But, having spent a lot of time considering the question, Jake offers a more studied sociological analysis of the reason for non-acceptance: "It's a problem with American culture and with capitalism. "Everyone is in competition. We don't work from a social angle of supporting one another but from a competitive angle. If I can separate myself from another person, I'm better."

He points out that the problem extends through all components of the gay community. Even today relatively few males and lesbians form close bonds, he notes. And consider the attitude many butch gay men still project toward femme males: "More masculine guys tend to put down effeminate men. 'I'm not gay like that,' they'll say. It's all a game of asserting superiority."

Jake would like to toss out the old game board and start playing a new way: "Being transgender, you get to create rules. As a kid you know there's something untrue about who you're supposed to be. As you explore yourself, you begin asking, 'What else about the world is true or untrue? What else doesn't have to be this way?'"

He says that the process of personal discovery has infused him with a drive to work for social changeparticularly for young people who face bullying and harassment for many reasons, not the least of which is their gender identity or expression.

Jake is highly informed about statistics on the plight of people of transgender their difficulties finding decent jobs, the violence against them and the traumas they face in schools.

He cites a new research study released in March by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), which found that transgender youth face "extremely high levels of victimization" in school, even more than their non-transgender lesbian, gay and bisexual peers. Nearly nine out of 10 transgender students experienced verbal harassment in the past year because of their sexual orientation and gender expression. More than half experienced physical harassment, and more than a quarter experienced physical assaults.

Ironically, trans students are more likely to speak out about LGBT issues in the classroom, according to the report, "Harsh Realities: The Experiences of Transgender Youth in Our Nation's Schools," which is the first comprehensive study of these students ever undertaken.

(You can download the entire report as a PDF file at www.glsen.org.) Despite extreme harassment, transgender students are resilient and take the lead in bringing up issues of sexual identity and orientation in school, the study's authors report.

That makes Jake happy yet concerned. He often cautions transitioning teenagers to steer clear of situations in which non-understanding adolescents or adults might try to harm them.

"It's fine to express pride in who you are," he says, "but it's even more important to protect yourself." Studies estimate the murder rate of transgender persons as high as 17 times the national average, with at least one murder every month in the U.S.

Jake recently confided to several of us that he doesn't expect to grow old: "Given how easily I open myself up and the amount of violence transgender people face, I don't know how much time I'll have. That's a reason I'm driven to do whatever I can to help others now."

On a brighter note, he mentioned that he has a new romantic interest, a girlfriend. His announcement provided another opportunity for me to learn about his transgender experience. "So, before you transitioned, you were a lesbian?"

"Yes, and my closest circle of friends was lesbian. Now, most of my friends are malesparticularly male couples. Single gay guys can be standoffish if they suspect that your body parts don't stack up against their interests."

"But doesn't that mean you're heterosexual now? Haven't you become the American ideal?"

Jake scratched his head as if he hadn't heard that one before, then he chuckled. "I can choose a straight identify, I suppose, but I still prefer to think of myself as queer. For trans people, labels aren't so definitive. I say: if a label makes sense to you, use it. But I don't have to be defined by it."

It is people like Jake who are shredding the labels that have long separated the diverse elements of our TLGB community.

Bill Sievert can be reached at billsievert@comcast.net. For more information on services for transgender youth, contact TransYouth Family Allies at www.imatyfa.org, GLSEN at www.glsen,org, or the Anti-Violence Project at www.avp.org.

LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 19, No. 04 May 08, 2009