What the Women in My Life Have Taught Me
As CAMP Rehoboth gears up for this year’s Women’s FEST, I am reminded how women have shaped my life and taught me important lessons. From a young age, being in the company of adult women felt safe. I attribute this in part to the strong bond that developed out of necessity with my mother, Eunice, when my father suddenly passed away. I was only 12 years old.
The two of us became deeply connected because we had no choice. As the only child who still lived at home, I became my mother’s shoulder to lean on as she was forced to enter the workforce at age 49, and to be her cheerleader while she dated, seeking companionship and security.
Looking back, my emerging sexual orientation had a lot to do with how our relationship developed because I was and have always been a very emotionally sensitive person. Which meant I was hyper-aware when she was sad. Being the best little boy in the world was my way of providing her with some comfort. This is perhaps why I strive for perfection in everything I do.
This connection grew stronger when I came out. While my mother initially struggled with my being gay, over time she became was my biggest champion who never hesitated to brag about me to anyone who would listen. Her unconditional love and support helped me weather difficult times, especially when my sexual orientation threatened to end my career at IBM. Eunice loved my friends, cherished my husband Greg, and adored being the belle of the ball at our parties.
Life Lesson #1: Value people by what they add to your life, regardless of who they love. When you invest time getting to know the whole person, you will be surprised by what you have in common and what you can learn from each other.
Another person who played a huge role in shaping my passion for LGBTQ+ equality is Elizabeth Birch. We met when I served as a consultant to the Human Rights Campaign (HRC), and she left her job at Apple to become the executive director. Our corporate backgrounds meant we knew being openly gay at work was complicated and often impossible.
Elizabeth believed achieving equality would be accelerated if corporate America created workplaces that valued LGBTQ+ people by banning discrimination and offering health benefits for employees in same-sex relationships. I was invited to be a member of HRC’s inaugural Business Advisory Council, which worked with Elizabeth and the staff to create the Corporate Equality Index (CEI). This benchmarking survey is used to assess corporations’ policies and benefits and determine how LGBTQ+ friendly they are.
This innovative approach, now considered the gold standard for LGBTQ+ best practices, is largely responsible for motivating leaders to update policies and make it safe for LGBTQ+ people to live their lives openly and honestly. Elizabeth’s out-of-the-box vision became a reality because she understood progress required influential non-LGBTQ+ stakeholders to help advocate with us and for us.
Life Lesson #2: Change is possible if you are willing to listen to new ideas, seek consensus by presenting facts, understand why others disagree, communicate throughout the process, and demonstrate measurable progress. Our lives depend on it.
I invite everyone to attend Women’s FEST 2023—April 27-30 in Rehoboth Beach—where you will have the opportunity to mingle with over 1,200 women attending the four-day extravaganza. Events feature entertainers, dances, sports events, an expo, an auction, health information and screenings, and other activities. The FEST is open to all, and its initials say it all: Fun, Entertainment, Spring, Tradition. To learn more, visit camprehoboth.com. ▼
Wesley Combs is CAMP Rehoboth Board President.
TRANSITION
The search for the next Executive Director is progressing as planned and this update reflects what had transpired by the deadline for this issue of Letters. Search firm Cooper Coleman conducted a nationwide search to identify candidates whose experience and interest align with the job description developed by CAMP Rehoboth’s Board. Over 100 candidates were initially identified from a variety of sources: Cooper Coleman’s network, referrals, and those who applied directly. Cooper Coleman contacted each person to learn more about their qualifications and answer questions. During this process, some proved not to be sufficiently qualified, others declined the outreach or withdrew (mostly because of the need to relocate), and some could not be reached.
Cooper Coleman then conducted Zoom interviews with the remaining candidates to narrow the pool to top candidates. The Search Committee conducted in-person interviews in late March and early April, selecting which candidates to move forward into the next round. Then, Interim Director Lisa Evans and I had follow-up Zoom calls to dig deeper and clarify information.
The Board and staff will be meeting those that make it to the final interview in April, with a goal of offering the role to one of them by mid-May. Our hope is the selected candidate will begin soon after Memorial Day. ▼