Shhhhhhhh…..
So let’s say a couple of your ancestors are arguing deep in their cave one night.
You might wonder what two fine fellows like that would have to argue about—leg of lion, perhaps—but then one of them tells the other to “Shut up!” and you really just know this isn’t going to get any better.
To understand why those two little syllables, “shut” and “up,” are fightin’ words, we need to look at a brief history of insults first.
Indeed, as long as there have been humans, there’s undoubtedly been a little bit of Yo Mama-ing going on. Joking and jibes are built into our DNA, it seems: ancient Romans wrote epic poetry and paeans to warriors with jabs hidden cleverly within the couplets. Roman and Greek soldiers inscribed nasty taunts on the ammunition they sent flying via slingshots—things like “Catch this!” and other barbs. Virgil couldn’t resist a little snark, nor could Shakespeare; neither could a random relief-seeker in Pompeii who scrawled “Sanius to Cornelius: Go hang yourself” on the wall of a restroom. It’s said that even Diogenes used “the finger” to show his displeasure with politics of his day.
An insult caused Aaron Burr to kill Alexander Hamilton. Britain’s Boris Johnson accumulated years of insulting behavior, which likely didn’t endear him to a whole lot of folks in Parliament. Khruschev, Mussolini, and Churchill all knew the way to sink a fang into an enemy with their words. And, of course, we could talk about Hollywood movers and shakers trading insults all day long and we still wouldn’t find the end of the jabs and jibes aimed at directors, writers, stars, and back-stabbing wanna-be’s.
As you could surmise, it never takes long for insults to escalate, no matter what era you live in, and there were absolutely times when the words ultimately involved axes, clubs, fisticuffs, and other weapons, including tongues as sharp as knives. Even the lightest off-the-cuff slur could be a reason for “honor” to be defended and there you go. The lesson here, you might say, is that if you ever travel back in time, be careful what you say, and to whom.
So, anyway, why is “Shut up!” so inflammatory?
Putting aside the modern use of the phrase, at its mildest, “shut up” is rude. You are insisting that the speaker immediately cease talking and close their mouth, as if you’ve suddenly been appointed Boss of the World. You’re not asking kindly for silence; you’re demanding it.
Psychologically speaking (no pun intended), when one person talks more than anyone else in a conversation, unless they are a teacher or preacher, they are dominating the conversation. To say “Shut up!” is not just insulting to the person who believes that their scintillating thoughts are of the utmost importance and that they deserve to be brought forth in a stream of consciousness, but the one doing the insulting has also just exerted control of everything in an aggressive and angry way with the (probable) barking of two little words. Game changer, right?
It should be mentioned that, also psychologically speaking, there really are people who don’t know when to...um, yeah. But do they deserve to be told to “shut up”? You be the judge, but just remember that by demanding that someone stop talking right now, right this minute, you could be propagating racism, sexism, or homophobia: lots of groups throughout history have been silenced for all kinds of invalid reasons, and all it took was a single “Shut up!”
Even psychologists point out that it’s sometimes better to just walk away. Barring that, though, how can you shut up, “Shut up!”?
People who study family dynamics say that the words “shut up,” when said together, should be eliminated from your family’s vocabulary, that you shouldn’t say it and you shouldn’t allow your kids to say it because it’s not going to make things any easier on any playground, now or later. There are kinder words to use, such as “hush,” or “be quiet,” or do the librarian thing with your finger to your lips, “shhhhhhhhh.”
Overall, be careful how you use those words, and remain cognizant of the social situation. Be sure that in casual conversations, you put emphasis on the “UhhhhP!” part of the phrase (or equal emphasis on both syllables), follow it with a faux-shocked look, and know your audience. And if you still can’t say something nice, maybe the best thing is to...shhhhhhhh.
Terri Schlichenmeyer’s second book, The Big Book of American Facts, comes out this fall. Her first (Big Book of Facts) is available now in bookstores.