Writing an Authentic Memoir
For those of us who have more salt than pepper in our hair, this might be a time to think about writing a memoir. We all have a story to tell, looking through the rearview mirrors of our lives. The questions are: Why write one? What purpose would it have? Why would it be of interest to those who don’t know us? What do we reveal, and what do we conceal? We cannot and perhaps should not share everything with friends and strangers, but we also want to tell a story that may appeal to those we never meet, as well as to those who know us, but not everything about us.
My story is not unique; there are thematic parts to it that may connect with others who have entered this phase in their lives. You may have friends, relatives, or co-workers who have encouraged you to write and share your past with others. The most influential person who encouraged me to write My True Colors: A Memoir, was my son, Eric.
Before you begin a memoir, be sure you have enough time and focus to protect this very intense and at times emotionally wrought process. There will be memories—both happy and difficult—that you need to embrace to tell a balanced, authentic view of your life. After all, most of us have had both positive experiences as well as painful ones.
You may find it helpful to develop an outline of what you want to share, lessons you have learned along your journey. Consider who your prospective audience might be.
There are many ways to craft a memoir. I chose to do it chronologically, starting with a background that included my parents, who were German-Jewish refugees. I originally didn’t want to go too much into their background, as it was quite complex, but was convinced by my editor to share their story. After all, we are shaped by our past in ways that at times determine and reflect our own journey.
I also wanted to include many of the paintings I have created over the years, as a major part of my identity is being an artist. Think about your passion(s)—how do you want to share this with others?
I found hiring both a professional developmental editor and a professional copy editor was critical to the success of my memoir; you may find that helpful, too. The former will review the overall content and provide suggestions for telling your story, as mine did regarding the inclusion of my parents’ narrative. He/she may help shape the memoir and find discrepancies you may have overlooked. Later on in the process, the copy editor will review your manuscript for grammar, typos, and any inconsistencies.
Prior to the copy editing phase, ask some close friends and/or relatives to be your “deputized editors.” They will help you recall some stories from your past that you may have forgotten or brushed aside. They may also help you understand the role and/or the importance of certain people in your life.
You also need to decide if your memoir is one that addresses people who may have scarred you or had a negative impact on you. Is this a “settling the score” memoir, or is its purpose to share your growth and sense of empowerment over the years? Remember, once the story of your life is in print, it’s permanent. I chose not to identify everyone who made my life a challenge, but that was my decision and my approach.
Count on writing and rewriting many times, as your story is a dynamic piece that will most likely improve with each review and rewrite. My entire process took 15 months.
When it came to publishing the memoir, I did not want to go through the long and often frustrating process of finding an agent and a mainstream publisher. I just wanted to get it printed, so I worked with a self-publishing house. You may find that works for you, too—or you may choose another route.
I found writing a memoir challenging but very rewarding. I hope you do, too. ▼
Jane Knaus is an artist and memoirist; she may be contacted at knausjane@gmail.com. Her book is available through Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and the self-publishing house website: https://store.bookbaby.com/book/my-true-colors.