CAMP Out: Fay's Rehoboth Journal - You Want Demons? Preakness Wins by a Nose
|by Fay Jacobs|
Its not enough that media-hungry Rev. Jerry Falwell made a laughing stock of himself by proclaiming the purple Teletubby a gay poster boy, now hes messing with one of the powerhouses of popular music, the Lilith Fair.
Falwell, or his editorial disciples, are warning parents to beware of the demonic legend behind the popular Lilith Fair concert series. Whereas his indictment of Tinky Winky made me go out and buy a plush Tinky for myself, this latest outcry sent me directly to the Internet for research.
I learned that according to ancient Jewish literature, Lilith was created by God as Adams first wife, but left Eden after refusing to be submissive to Adam. Hmmmm.
According to Lilith tour publicists, the concert, featuring some of the nations best women musicians, which played to over 800,000 music lovers last year in 37 cities, "got its name from the characters original aspect, a woman seeking equality and independence."
But Falwells conservative National Liberty Journal says there are many conflicting accounts of the Lilith character, their favorite being the pagan legend, often associated with lesbianism, where Lilith dwelled with demons after leaving Eden and went mad after witnessing the execution of her children. That, in turn, caused a killing spree, where she seduced and murdered her own demonic male offspring.
From reliable eye witnesses at last seasons Lilith Fair in Columbia, MD, the most demonic thing the group did was leave the outdoor concert venue a lot cleaner than when they found it.
By contrast, anybody ever sit in the infield at the Preakness? Talk about demonic. Its a disgusting ritual at Pimlico Raceway in Baltimore, which I only attended once, that being more than enough. But the damn thing happens every year. Where was Falwells warning in May about the demonic influence of the Preakness?
Bonnie and I were recruited (oh, no!) to take part in a crude (and this is the operative word) attempt at a heterosexual pride day, with a pagan band of Coors-worshipping idolaters. Our cabal set out in a van, armed with 18 cases of beer, three ice coolers, 40 fat-laden Italian subs, 100 yards of rope (what the heck for???), a dozen tomato stakes, two handcarts, a fold-up luggage carrier, a tent and a port-a-potty. I prayed that the last two items would be used in tandem.
With backpacks, handcarts, tent and toilet, we set out for the races. Hundreds of other fiendish spectators, schlepping provisions and surging toward the track, jostled for position like the horses theyd come to bet on. People had extension ladders laden with beer cases, kegs in wheelbarrows, a Ping-Pong table piled with pilsner, and enough camping gear to make Falwellians suspect lesbianism was surely afoot.
Breaking through the crush, our wicked tribe charged the field, and staked out a 15x15 foot claim with the tomato stakes and rope. From our vantage point, through a maze of tents, canopies, coolers and bodies, you could almost make out the track fence. If the horses stopped, jumped up and waved, we might get a glimpse.
With a whoop, the ritual drinking began. A plastic cup of some awful red liquid came by and I sampled. Yum, vodka and red dye #2. I was told it was a Yucca Flat, named for the A-bomb test site. This was 10:30 a.m., with post time for the first race at noon, and the Preakness at 5:30. All our coven did was drink, sopping up liquid with the occasional baloney/pepper loaf sub. A far cry, Im sure, from the tofu and pyramid of food groups revelers at Lilith Fair will be sampling.
Then some guys opposite our encampment, who had not thought ahead in the port-a-potty department, started making like garden hoses. Talk about Tinky Winky. Where was the Falwell watch when you needed them? Its safe to say Id never seen so much male equipment in my life. It was like a giant pee-a-thon. Ennui forced some disgusted women in our camp to start holding up paper plates with magic-markered numbers on them, rating the boys endowments on a scale of Tinky-Winky to Ten.
Finally, our jury could only watch in horror as the infield turned into one enormous fist fight. With the drinking and peeing out of the way, all the revelers could come up with next was drunken brawls, as bored girlfriends and wives wished theyd stayed home watching QVC.
Finally, as a sure sign of higher power displeasure, the heavens opened with a Noah-inspired deluge of rain, turning the whole infield into a mucky mess, which only inspired mud wrestling and trash bag luge racing. Yo! Falwell! Looky here. (And, now that I think of it, why doesnt Falwell have something to say about the position those guys have to take on that 2-man Olympic luge sled, anyway? Just wondering.)
We never did find out who won the Preakness. There were so many drunks on the yucca flat we had to step over mud-crusted bodies to get the hell out. Folks who had beer piled on ladders on the way in, used them as stretchers for the fallen on the way out. The four guys with the Ping-Pong table carried out a whole platoon of drunk and wounded. And the remaining infield was one big toxic landfill of beer cans and trash.
Holy Satanic Verses! Evil legend has it that this kind of infernal drinking and boys-will-be-boys reveling happens at racetracks, ball fields and stadiums all over the globe. Why Lucifer himself tells tales of our very own Pumpkin Chunkinnow endorsed by that conspiracy of male sensibility, the Promise Keepers (dont get me started). And Jerry Falwell is picking on Lilith Fair?
Hes set his wily little eye on concerts where thousands of women, their men friends and not a few Tinky Winky carrying-children come to picnic on sensible food, drink additive-free beverages, listen to some of the best women singers in the world, and clean up after themselves before they go? Besides, in every concert city, Lilith Fair donates thousands of dollars to the local battered womens shelters. Its demonic, I tell you!
The third and final tour of Lilith begins July 8 and features artists including founder Sarah McLachlan, Sheryl Crow, The Dixie Chicks and Queen Latifah. As McLachlan herself is quoted saying, "[Lilith] was a great example of strong women out there doing something they love, doing something really positive."
Of course, thats what Falwell and his kind find so demonic. Why doesnt he just admit it.
Fay Jacobs is a regular contributor to Letters from CAMP Rehoboth. She and her partner, Bonnie, recently became permanent residents of Rehoboth Beach when Fay accepted a position as Executive Director of Rehoboth Beach Main Street.
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 9, No. 8, July 2, 1999