LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
When it Comes to Safe Sex, Talk is Not Cheap |
by Bill Sievert |
Although someone mistook a CAMPsafe lube pack as relish for the hot dogs being served, most of the crowd at July's SAFE-Tea Dance seemed to know the difference in content of the various foil-wrapped containers. Fortunately, our tireless waitresses, including the ever-smiling Ms. Bee Headed, were on hand to help anyone with a doubt distinguish the condiments from the condom supplies. We do apologize that Ms. Bee was not wearing a hair net while serving up oh-so many weenies but no one could come up with enough netting to wrap her high hive, especially with all those pesky insects entwined in it. Despite the small gaffes, what a great party it was. The energy level ran high well into the night with the music of deejay Robbie Leslie and the spirited participation of hundreds of you. Thanks to John, Randy and everyone at Cloud 9 for the cookout and all your hospitality. Special thanks to Chris and Cliff for bringing your waitresses, to CAMPsafe Lifeguard Franklin and his partner Scott for working the information table with such non-stop enthusiasm, and to guards Mike and Craig for all your contributions. It was particularly exciting to see scores of men taking time out from the dancing and weenie roasting to complete our rather lengthy CAMPsafe Survey of Safe Sex Practices. At one point, a school teacher friend of mine tapped me on the shoulder and said, "Look around at all these handsome guys with clipboards eagerly filling out the survey. I wish I could get my students to take their tests this seriously." It is always good news when we gay and bisexual men communicate about sex with one another, because communication is such an essential factor in playing safe. As a rule, men love to talk about sex (and to boast of sexual conquests), so why get shy in talking to a prospective sexual partner? I'm happy to report that many of you have not been at all hesitant about coming up to me, as director of the CAMPsafe project this summer, and launching into discussions about what's on your mind. Talking with you has proved very helpful to our efforts, as supported by the state of Delaware's Department of Health and Human Services, to provide the services and information you need most. One direct result of your feedback is this month's introduction of complimentary packets of ID brand water-based lubricant to accompany the free latex condoms we distribute. As quite a few of you (including some guesthouse proprietors) have suggested, a guy who needs a condom is unlikely to have any lube with him either. The addition of the lube makes it all the more likely our condoms will be used. Thanks to all who made this excellent suggestion. From now on, you can expect to find your free lube tucked inside your information-wrapped CAMPsafe condom kits. They are available at area bars and guesthouses, and at the CAMP Rehoboth office. We are grateful also to those of you who have said that you have been using the condoms we distribute. As one man told me while I was restocking a popular Rehoboth bar, "You've made it convenient to remember a condom. Last week, I was here for a drink, not expecting to get lucky. When I did, I spotted the basket of your condoms on the way out the door. I grabbed a couple. I glanced a little sheepishly at the guy I was with, wondering what he was thinking. He kind of laughed, pinched my arm and said, 'Probably a good idea.' You made our discussion about the use of a condom so easy. We had a great night, and we're getting together again this weekend." I love to hear such stories, but not everything I hear is quite so rosy. Another man, probably in his mid-50s, told me that he usually puts a CAMPsafe condom in his pocket when he's out cruising the bars, but he's surprised how many of his partners don't want him to bother with one. "I like younger guys and am pleased that a lot of them like me, too. But, when I reach for a condom the young ones often say, 'Hey, man, what are you waiting for?' They don't want me to put it on, and I have to admit that there have been times when I didn't." We talked about how younger people often think they are invincible, invulnerable to disease, how some of them have not been around long enough to have lost lovers and friends to AIDS. He agreed that, with the wisdom of his age, he should always take the initiative to protect his partner and himself. Staying healthy can present challenges even to the most well informed men. "I can't believe I did something so stupid," an avid supporter of CAMPsafe goals recently confided. "I should have known better. I was aware that the guy I was playing around with was HIV positive but I guess neither of us realized we would end up going so far or that there might be blood contact. Afterwards, I freaked and ran to be tested." To err is human, we concurred with a mutual sigh, but the important thing is to avoid repeating our mistakes. Though his HIV test proved negative, the man agreed that it would be wise for him to be re-tested in six months. A few days later, a young summer resident of Rehoboth Beach nervously told me that he had delayed being tested because he was worried about the possible result and he had no idea where to go for a test. He didn't want to travel to his regular physician who is in another city. But he realized that his fears were becoming debilitating. I urged him to get in touch with the Sussex County AIDS Committee. SCAC offers free anonymous testing each Thursday afternoon from 4 to 6 p.m. at its Rehoboth office (107 South Street, 644-1090). No appointment is necessary. A few days later, I ran into this summer resident again and he was smiling brightly. He vowed to be much more careful in the future. A key ingredient in exercising care is the willingness to talk things over. It goes hand in hand with a commitment to keep yourself and your partner(s) healthy. You will have a wonderful opportunity to talk about and learn techniques for creating reduced-risk sexual excitement at our first ever CAMPsafe Men's Retreat at the Renegade Resort on the weekend of Oct. 2-3. Come for one or both of the free workshops with experts from Washington's Whitman-Walker Clinic. Saturday afternoon we'll explore "The Anatomy of Pleasure." On Sunday afternoon we'll play "The Dating Game," a session on finding and keeping a healthy relationship. You do need to register in advance, but that's easy. Drop us a note at CAMP Rehoboth or email campsafe@camprehoboth.com including your name, address and whether you wish to participate in one or both workshops. Don't forget that The Renegade is offering a nice package deal for those of you who wish to stay overnight at their motel to do your homework. They'll even throw in free passes for Saturday night's dance. For room reservations or information on the weekend package, contact the Renegade directly at 302-227-4713. And don't forget to stop by the CAMPsafe information table during our final summer SAFE-Tea Dance at Cloud 9, Sunday August 15. Brian Norwood will be the guest disc jockey, and we'll be giving away more limited edition CAMPsafe Life Guard tank tops. We hope to see youand talk to youthere. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 9, No. 10, July 30, 1999 |