LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
Gay 'n Gray: Be Prepared! |
by John Siegfried |
"To Be, or Not To Be? THAT IS THE QUESTION"asked by the young Danish Prince in Willie Shakespeare's Hamlet. As thirty-something royalty Hamlet was at the right time of life to question his kingdom, his world and his role. Many of us did much the same, without the pedigree and with the assist of a few six-packs, in college bull sessions or beyond. Somehow, however, I thought days of doubt and questioning were a function of youth and that as I approached antiquity, knowledge, wisdom, and certainty would replace questioning and doubt. At this age I expected to have a leg on junior guru status, at the least. But my experience of the aging process is that I seem to have more questions and fewer answers the further down the path I go. My question of the moment is, whether, after a life-time of church membership, activity, and financial support, it's time to call it quits and accept the fact that as a gay male I'm unacceptable to the religious powers that be. Most of the major Protestant religious organizations had annual, or bi, or tri, or quadrennial national meetings this Spring. The final score card wasn't reassuring for gays and lesbians. The Methodists, in addition to rejecting gays in the clergy and same sex unions, decided that homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching. The Episcopal hierarchy favors granting some type of official status, short of marriage (and as yet undefined), to committed same sex couples and they continue to be divided on the ordination of gay clergy. Presbyterians, not surprisingly, opted for local option and more study, while Southern Baptists maintained their homophobia and re-emphasized their uniqueness by affirming that a woman's place is in the home, or at least some place other than the church ministry, which by Southern Baptist interpretation is exclusively male. There was a delightful irony in the Southern Baptist meeting. It was held at Disney World in Orlando, Florida when, at their national meeting last year, the Southern Baptists voted to boycott anything Disneyesque as a protest against Disney's same sex partner benefits and Disney's failure to share the Southern Baptist homophobia. A church official explained that the meeting planning for the Disney event preceded the boycott vote by several years and to cancel the Disney contract on a one year notice would have incurred a severe financial penalty to the Southern Baptists. They were unwilling to pay the price of their own boycott and so proceeded to meet at Disney World. So much for the boycott and for putting your money where your mouth is. In the confusion and aftermath of all of the above I wrote to the highest cleric of the religious group I'm affiliated with and asked sincerely how I as a gay man could maintain my integrity and also retain membership in the organization which in May decided that homosexuality is incompatible with Christian teaching. His response was warm and encouraging and noted that the agreed upon church policies, the Discipline, represents not unanimity of opinion but diversity, and that every church positionracial, theological, socioeconomic, political, etc.is evolving. He encouraged me to stay and participate in the process. A very similar question was asked of Randy Cohen who writes a weekly column in The New York Times Sunday Magazine titled, "The Ethicist." A Port Washington, New York mother wrote, "My son has been a Cub Scout for three years, and I've been a den leader for one, a wonderful experience for us both. But I was appalled by the Supreme Court's decision upholding the Scout's right to exclude gay people. I cannot feel proud to see my son wearing a uniform that represents bigotry, and so we are withdrawing from scouting. Many of my friends also oppose this discrimination but plan to continue in scouting anyway. Aren't they wrong to do so?" Cohen responded," Resigning as you did is the right thing to do. Just as one is honor bound to quit an organization that excludes African-Americans, so you should withdraw from scouting as long as it rejects homosexuals. That scouting has a legal right of free association does not clear you of this obligation. The right to shun Jews is no less anti-Semitic for all its legality. Those who remain in the Scouts are on shaky ground even if they sincerely seek reform from within. That is a reasonable strategy while the issue is unsettled, but once the Supreme Court handed down its decision, the debate ended. To stay now is to acceptif not endorseits policy. You need not agree with an organization's every principle, of course, but the matter in this case is too fundamentaland too cruelto tolerate." So, like Prince Hambone of old, "To be or not to be, that is the question?" Whether to be a member of the Scouts, the Church, the Republican Party, or any other organization that institutionalizes homophobiawhether to remain a member and hopefully work for change from within (while tacitly endorsing organizational policy) or vote with my feet and move on? That is the question. Maybe the answer comes in Act III. I'll have to re-read the play. John Siegfried, a retired association executive, resides in Rehoboth. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 10, No. 11, Aug. 11, 2000. |