LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
The "Other" Gay Disease |
by Paul Harris |
OK, the holidays are over. The decorations have been taken down and my guess is that most New Year's resolutions have already been brokenat least once! Perhaps your holiday this year was marred by the behavior of either you or someone in your life. Now, be honest, did one or both of you wind up drinking so much, or doing so many drugs that you succeeded in ruining the holiday? If so, perhaps you need to read this! A study made a few years ago showed that 30% of gay men and 33% of lesbians drank heavily or were alcoholics. Just as with homosexuality, some debate exists within academic circles as to the causes of alcoholism. While there is very clear evidence that the disease (and that is exactly what it is) can be genetically transferred from one generation to the next, other evidence suggests that psychological and sociological factors also play a big role in why so many lesbians and gay men cross the line from social drinking to the point where they are addicted. Rather than get stuck in what I consider the unrewarding quagmire of trying to explain why people become alcoholic, I would rather discuss how to determine whether someone has a problem with alcohol and, if so, what can be done about it. The first and most important point to make is this: ALCOHOLISM IS A DISEASE. WHILE THERE IS NO 'CURE' THERE IS SOMETHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT! I spoke with two professionals with enormous experience in this area Dr. M. Ross Seligson and Dr. Forrest Shearin. Dr. Seligson, a clinical psychologist practicing in Ft. Lauderdale, has a clientele that is 65% gay and with 40-45% of his practice dealing with alcohol and drug addiction issues. Dr. Shearin has thirty years of experience working mostly in the Washington, DC area with individuals on a one to one basis as well as with companies and organizations in the area of employee assistance. Shearin started by saying, "Almost every client I see has a problem with either alcohol or drugs, or they come from families where another family member has the problem. In fact, as a therapist, I look for alcohol and drug use no matter what a client comes to see me about." My first question was, why are gays and lesbians more likely than our straight counterparts to become addicted to drugs or alcohol. Ross pointed to issues of alienation from society as well as guilt around religious beliefs. In addition, society regards alcohol as being socially acceptablebooze is legal, while many other mood-changing drugs are not! Furthermore, alcohol allows us to drop our inhibitions. Forrest pointed to the fact that most gays and lesbians meet and socialize in a drinking situation. Some of us are faced with self-esteem issues dealing with the prejudices we encounter. For many gays and lesbians, the only legitimate social outlet is the bar! How can you tell if YOU have a problem with alcohol? Alcoholics Anonymous has graciously provided us with their list of twenty questions to aid people in making that determination. (See page 20.) Check either "yes" or "no" opposite each question. (Be honestyou'll only be cheating yourself.) If you have checked "yes" to three or more questions, then Alcoholics Anonymous would suggest that you have a problem. If this is the case, what should you do? You may have a friend in AA who will accompany you to a meeting. The company that you work for, particularly if it is a large one, may offer its employees the health insurance benefit of going to a rehab. If you don't know anyone in AA, the information number in the Rehoboth Beach area is 302-856-6452, or look in the phone book under Alcoholics Anonymous to find one near you. There are 89,000 groups throughout the world! You will find "special interest" AA groups specifically for gays and lesbians in Rehoboth and all the major cities in America. You may find it easiest to start by going to one of these "special interest" meetings. When you get there, nothing will be expected of you. You may be asked to introduce yourself, using only your first name. The central and most important principle of AA is anonymity. Some people will go to the same meeting for years and never know the last names of people they see every week! Your privacy will be protected. Another important principle is that whatever you say will not be repeated outside of that meeting. One of the mysteries of alcoholism is that in spite of all the advances in medicine and the pharmaceutical industry, no one has come up with a more successful approach than the bunch of drunks led by Bill Wilson who founded Alcoholics Anonymous in Akron, Ohio in 1935! The vast majority of therapists who work with alcoholics and drug addicts suggest that their clients attend AA meetings or one of the sister organizations such as the broad-based Narcotics Anonymous or Cocaine Anonymous. In fact, Seligson makes it very clear that he will not work with a client unless a commitment is made to attend AA or another "twelve step" program. He regards working with someone who hasn't made a commitment to stop drinking and go to AA as "taking money under false pretenses." Shearin agrees, "If they don't go to meetings, they are wasting my time and theirs." I asked Seligson what AA does that a therapist alone cannot do. Membership in AA, he suggested, offers access to a support network that a therapist cannot give you. It also provides the alcoholic/ addict with a peer group who has had similar experiences and from which he or she can learn. What, on the other hand, does individual therapy offer that AA alone cannot? He pointed out that a trained therapist has specialized knowledge of treatment modalities and can offer a safe, secure environment in which the recovering alcoholic can work through personal, emotional conflicts and issues. However, he points out that individual therapy should not be seen as a substitute for AA and vice versa. ALCOHOL, DRUGS AND HIV Based on research now available, it seems likely that gay men who abuse drugs and alcohol are more likely to contract HIV, as while under the influence they are at greater risk of engaging in risky sexual behavior. In addition, many gay men with HIV can be tempted to turn to drugs and alcohol abuse as a way to avoid facing the disease. Because of the severe social stigma attached to HIV, isolation becomes a factor for many peopledrugs and alcohol become a means to escape the reality of HIV in their lives. I talked with several men who are HIV+ and also in AA. Peter is a Cuban-born hotel manager who has been living with HIV for 11 years. He pointed out that one central theme of recovery, taking life literally "One Day at a Time," is helpful in dealing with the virus. He noted that being sober makes him more aware of things that may be detrimental to his well- being. He said, "It also allows me to be more aware of what's going on scientifically and of all the options available to me." Paul is a successful man in his forties living in DC. Not long ago he was selling cocaine to finance his own drug habit while working as a lawyer! Today, he has been clean and sober for over 9 years. For him, "AA is the best support network around and has helped me not to feel alone. Today, I feel better about myself. I have an attitude of hope about HIV and work out in a gym 4 or 5 times a week." A professional who has observed hundreds of people living with HIV/AIDS over the past decade is Robert Stafford of the Manhattan Plaza AIDS Project in New York City. He notices that people in recovery who are confronted with a life-threatening diagnosis have a "far greater sense of self-responsibility, accountability and conscience; they possess a value system and a sense of self-nurtureall necessary in living with an illness. In contrast, many people not in recovery need far more looking after, requiring management of their lives for them." He went on to note that people in recovery had a much greater quality of life than their still drinking/drug-using counterparts, "In large part because they already had a reference of how to deal with a major life problem." Shearin has also worked with people who are both HIV+ and alcoholic. He says, "Unless you treat alcoholism and addiction as your primary disease and treat it first, continued alcohol use (which depresses the immune system) will lead to a slow suicide." Shearin concluded by saying that an alcoholic is either "going towards or away from a drink. Not drinking and not drugging though, is only the start of the recovery process." According to Shearin, recovery is an ongoing process which requires adherence to the 12 Steps of AA. It's about changing all sorts of aspects of your lifenot just putting down the bottle. Paul Harris, an occasional contributor to Letters, lives in New York City. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 10, No. 1, Feb. 4, 2000. |