LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
The Miracle of Sundance |
by Murray Archibald |
Among those of us who work to make SUNDANCE happen every year, it's common knowledge that during the last week of the summer, chicken is a vegetable. Confused? Let me explain. Among that group of people that I just mentioned, there are several vegetarians and every year, in that last, fast paced week when we are all deep in the SUNDANCE process, it invariably happens that at some point we forget to order the right food for the work crews, and someone always shrugs and good-naturedly says, "Oh well, at SUNDANCE time, chicken is a vegetable." "So what?" you may be asking yourself, but I bring it up because during that last week of the summer as we all work to make SUNDANCE a reality, a strange and wondrous transformation begins to occur. That transformation is more than chicken becoming a vegetable; it's more than the Rehoboth Convention Center becoming a beautiful dance club; it's more than the $148,000 raised for Sussex County AIDS Committee and CAMP Rehoboth. That transformation is what happens to the hearts and spirits of everyone involved. This Labor Day Weekend we celebrated the thirteenth SUNDANCE. It has been an important part of my life for many years. Steve and I have nudged and nursed it along the road that has carried it to this point. Along the way we have laughed and cried, been frustrated and invigorated, defeated and inspired. Through it all, a transforming spirit has touched us and changed our lives. No matter the details of the individual yearsevery single one has left me a new person. Every single one has felt like a miracle in some way or another. For almost twenty years, AIDS has been a part of our lives. During that time we nursed our friends and loved ones and all too often we watched them shrivel up, fade away and die. And though the dying has slowed some in the past few years, it has not stopped, it is not over. The miracle of SUNDANCE for me, comes in the life and death paradox around which SUNDANCE is built. It is about life and it is about death. It is both a celebration and a memorial. It is a time of remembrance and it is a time of joy. Most of all it is a time for miraclesa time for transformations. Over the years, SUNDANCE has become special to many of the people involved. Several years ago, a number of close friends were approaching a critical point in the progress of AIDS through their lives. It was an especially intense and painful time for us. That year as SUNDANCE drew near, our dear friends John Van Meter and Randy Weaver, though weak and very sick, were both determined to make it to SUNDANCE one last time. It was important to them, and I danced that year with tears in my eyes as I watched Randy with his cane and John in his wheelchair. It was their last hurrah. We buried them both within a few short weeks. This year, that scenario repeated itself. Our friend Tim Leist was famous in SUNDANCE circles for the elaborate SUNDANCE jackets he would make and decorate every year. As this summer came to a close, word reached us that Tim was being taken off his medication and didn't have long to live. His last hope, however, was to make it to SUNDANCE one more timeand he did. With his partner Scott's help he was theredecked out in a new SUNDANCE jacket. Anyone who looked at him knew that death was not far away and yet it was life that Tim was celebrating as he danced for the last time surrounded by all his friends. Tim passed away on the Friday after SUNDANCE. This year, Tim and his life and death have become a part of the transforming miracle of SUNDANCE. As I write all of this, I wonder if it's just me. I wonder if it's only because I'm so close to the whole heart of SUNDANCE that I feel this mystery and miracle every year. And then I look around at the results of SUNDANCE and I know that others feel it too. I know it because of the way countless volunteers come back SUNDANCE after SUNDANCE. I know it in the generous giving of our auction donors and the more than 450 hosts, supporters and sponsors who help to make it all possible. I know it in the hugs and kisses I receive as I move across the dance floor. I know it when I look into the eyes of those around me. Much of the time in our stressed out, matter-of-fact, modern, sophisticated lives, when we start to talk about miracles, it's received with a roll of the eyes and a quick changing of the subject. We don't allow the time for miracles and transformations. We take things at face value and we grow uncomfortable when things are not easily explained. Perhaps it's because all of this is so intensely personal, subject to our own experience and interpretation. The best I can do by way of explanation is that SUNDANCE was built on love and remains a matter of the heartand in matters of the heart there is no need of explanations, because love is the greatest miracle of all. As I looked across the dance floor this year, I remembered all the years that have come before. I remembered all those who once danced at my side and are no longer with us. I celebrated with all those around methe young and the old, straight, gay, black and white. My SUNDANCE painting this year was titled Lifedance, and as DJ Mark Thomas closed the evening by playing the song by the same name I thanked God that I was blessed by such a rich life and for all those who have shared their own with us and as a part of the SUNDANCE experience. In the dance of life there is, indeed, good and bad, rich and poor, laughter and despair, joy and deathall wrapped up together. I never really know exactly how my life is changed by SUNDANCE, but I believe with all my heart that it is. As each summer ends, it gives me the chance to shake myself out, to let go of all the junk that has built up around my soulto say farewell to the past and to say hello to the future. To many of you it may be just another dance, but for me it is a rite of passage. For me it is a miracle. For me it is a time when the dying can rise up and dance, a time when hearts are refreshed and a time when for one mysterious moment, chicken is, indeed, a vegetable. To all those who worked to make this year's SUNDANCE 2000 a real super-duper, ultra-iridescent rainbow revolution, I say thank you. You are the miracle of SUNDANCE. Tim Leist and Scott Barnett Fandancer Michelle Grasso. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 10, No. 13, Sept. 22, 2000. |