LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
Speak Out |
Some things just get better with age like wine, good friends and the Blue Moon. The Moon's 21st Anniversary party was over the top and I hope everyone realizes all the hard work that goes into planning a party like that. Rob Dick has always believed that if you do something it should be done well and he and his staff have proven again what a class act they are. One has to give credit to the creative genious of Cliff Lassahn, aka the french maid. Then too, to all the staff at the Moon for the weeks of work it took to put together the fantastic decorations. To Rob, Brian, Ritchie, Daren, Eric, Scott, Toby, Tristan, David, Brad, Gene chef Peter MacMahon, the restaurant staff, and to Joyce who arrived Sunday morning with plastic to put over the roof tarp and who has managed to run a restaurant that after 21 years still gets voted the Best at the Beach. Rehoboth is a better place for having the Moon and for what Joyce has done for our community and all of Rehoboth. It is an institution that keeps getting better and better and one that still attracts all the first timers to Rehoboth who have heard talk of the Moon. Because of the Moon we now have other bars and restaurants to frequent and enjoy, and many of them are wonderful and make Rehoboth the fun place it is, but the Moon, like any grande dame that has aged well and kept up with the times, can be proud that nothing else really compares. After 21 years it is still an original. May we all enjoy many more anniversary parties there. Peter Rosenstein How disappointed I was to see that CAMP Rehoboth, an organization dedicated to community building, would print such a divisive and misinformed article as Mubarak Dahir's column on Pallotta Teamworks AIDSRides. At the risk of falling into Mr. Dahir's category of "faithful, cult-like followers" let me say that I, like most participants, share his concern over the percentage of funds raised that find their way to the sponsoring organizations. This concern has been an on-going topic of discussion among participants and organizers alike with accountability on Pallotta's part always placed as a top priority. Still, while reading his column I clearly got the impression that Mr. Dahir has neither participated in nor talked with those who have been a part of any AIDSRide events, as his description is seriously flawed. (I have not participated in any Pallotta Teamworks breast cancer walks so I cannot speak to those events.) My experience was as a rider in the 2000 Twin Cities to Chicago event that took 1,400 riders and 500 volunteers across 500 miles over five days in July. To suggest that this event exemplified one of Pallotta's "fancy shows" is absurd. Everyone involved was charged with setting up (and taking down) sleeping tents, dragging luggage to and from transport trucks, cleaning up after meals and making sure that public lands were left as clean as when we arrived. This came at the beginning and end of every 85 to 100-mile dayrain or shine, no hotels, no room service, no spas. It is true that each evening ended with a program during which representatives and clients of local AIDS agencies told us about the services they provided and how our donations would help this continue. If this constitutes some unreasonable form of "pep-rallying" then Pallotta Teamworks is guilty as charged. Mr. Dahir's notion that AIDSRides involve "just a few days of pedaling" is particularly laughable. In fact riders and volunteers are required to participate in pre-ride organizational and safety seminars with rigorous training rides beginning at least six months in advance. His concept of fundraising associated with the rides is also incorrect. Most riders far exceed the minimum amount needed to participate and many are self-funded or rely on corporate sponsorships. In addition, every volunteer that I spoke with raised substantial funds although none were required for their participation. Finally, I must take exception to Mr. Dahir's statement that participating in an AIDSRide can't possibly be as affirming as other experiences with AIDS organizations. The arrogance of assessing a hierchy of relative value to one's experiences with AIDS is appalling and counterproductive. That he seems especially irked that I may actually have grown as a compassionate person through my experience on the AIDSRide is particularly puzzling. Like him, I too have helped friends through the last days of illness as well as volunteered for years with organizations to help stop discrimination against those living with HIV and AIDS. Every one of those experiences has enriched me as a person. So did the many experiences of participating in an AIDSRide. Whether it was cycling with the "Positive Pedalers" (riders with HIV or AIDS), passing a child who held a sign telling us that her mother and father had died of AIDS, or reading hand-printed signs of encouragement strung throughout a 10-mile stretch of Wisconsin, these were experiences that are still meaningful today. Mr. Dahir is absolutely correct that we should hold any and all fundraising organizations up to the highest standards of accountability. But using misinformation to belittle and demean those who may happen to enrich their own lives while raising more than $100 million for HIV and AIDS service organizations is unproductive and mean-spirited. Let's resist telling each other whose experience is more meaningful and continue to celebrate the notion that profound experiences come in many forms and are all rooted, ultimately, in the best of intentions. Isn't that what community building is really all about? Cynthia Cooper I am saddened by the manner in which the death of Navajo teenager Fred Martinez has been reported by the press, and even the manner in which his life has been commemmorated in tributes written about him. In every press report, indeed in every tribute I have read, Martinez is referred to as a "gay person." Is there something objectionable in him being referred to as gay? No, not at all, if he was indeed a gay person. But how about if he was not gay, but something else, or something more, instead? In his hometown newspaper, the Durango Herald, Martinez was described in these words: "In school, his endearing personality and gentle sense of humor attracted a close circle of mostly female, American Indian friends. But as Martinez began to come into his own in the last two years, he displayed a feminine style of appearance that sometimes brought him harassment and scorn, acquaintances say." Are some gay men effeminate? Yes, some are. But is a stereotype being perpetuated when people label as "gay" any person having male sexual anatomy, who displays feminine traits as well? Yes, indeed it is. Some gay men are effeminate; many are not. This youth who was born with male anatomy was not gay, but rather, transgendered, "two-spirited" to use the terminology of his Native American tribe. The article further reported, "Acquaintances have reported that Martinez liked to wear women's clothing and makeup, and told people he was considering a sex-change operation." Gay men do not aspire to sex change surgery. Gay men revel in their male parts! Martinez's expressed hope to someday have sex change surgery proves further that he considered himself NOT a gay man, but in fact a transexual woman. Or to put it more appropriately, he was a transexual girl who will never get to grow up to become a transexual woman. In fact, as the true picture of who Fred was is clouded over, with the details misted out, his existence as a transexual girl is obliterated, as if it was never real at all. What exists of Fred will not be any image of Fred's true self, but only a sad caricature that lacks the details that were most essential to making him the person he was and wanted to become. Why is there a need for distinction in the labelling of Fred Martinez? Is it not enough that we lament his murder and voice our sorrow that this young person will never have the privilege of growing up to fulfill his dreams, to work toward making his hopes come true? There is a need to voice the distinction, because the transgendered/transexual segment of our LGBT community is separate, is distinct, has its own issues, its own concerns, faces its own challenges, its own prejudices, and has already the sole distinction of being just as misunderstood by its lesbian, gay and bisexual sisters and brothers as as it by the heterosexual majority in our society! On the part of our gay and lesbian family members, the misunderstanding stems not from disapproval or dislike, but only from a lack of education. And this lack of education is the precise reason why labelling our members correctly, and being open about their distinctions, is so important. T-folk often feel very lonely in the company of our gay community members. We are on the outside looking in even though the Ls, Gs, and Bs claim to include us in their group! In order for us to feel truly part of the family, we must be understood! We are not LIKE the others! A gay man is a gay man; a lesbian is a lesbian. A transgendered person is neither of the above. Would it have been Fred Martinez's choice to be called a man? Was it Brandon Teena's choice to be called a woman, a lesbian? Speaking as a transgendered person, I assure you, indeed I cry out to you, I would rather be referred to as "IT" than as "he" or "she" against my will! Let us have our distinction! I would rather be called a "person," or even a "being" than to be called either "man" or "woman"! Only by being allowed this distinction can I have my true place in society. Let your transgendered brothers and sisters tell you whether they wish to be called "he" or "she," "man" or "woman." Let US choose! I refer to Martinez as "he" only because according to the press he went by his birth name, Fred. If he had been allowed to live, and pursue his hopes of having sex change surgery, at some point he would have begun physically transitioning and would have chosen a feminine name for himself, and expect to be called "she" as well. A teacher at the adult school Martinez attended commented, "There is too much focus on his tendency toward being feminine," Miller said. "It was just another outfit, just like with head- bangers, jocks, rappers and skinheads. He was a very neat, clean person who cared about his appearance." This indicates that while she and others might have found it perfectly acceptable for Fred to be GAY, it was NOT acceptable for him to be transgendered, and was in fact unspeakable! His wearing of feminine attire was most certainly NOT "just another outfit, just like with head- bangers, jocks, rappers and skinheads!" To compare cross-dressing done by transgendered people to fashion fads is to somehow imply a hope that the person doing the cross-dressing with outgrow the desire with age and maturity! How wonderful that it's become much more acceptable to be gay in our society! That was a hard-fought battle. Now let it become acceptable to be transgendered as well. We do not outgrow being transgendered! Our manner of dress is NOT a fad, NOT a passing phase that we'll outgrow in a few years the way a teenager hopes to outgrow zits! Our manner of dress and behavior are quintessential to our being. If it makes others uncomfortable to talk about it, that is their problem. But by allowing others to cover us up so we won't be seen only allows them to keep their eyes shut, and with eyes shut they will never get used to seeing us! We do not want to be in that closet; it's dark in there. Stepping out takes courage, but Fred showed that courage already, at a very young age. Doing so was undoubtedly the result of years spent at even younger ages, thinking about it...working up to it. Let's not allow others to shove him back into the darkness again simply because he is dead. Nicky LeBlanc |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 11, No. 11, August 10, 2001. |