LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
CAMP Talk |
by Bill Sievert |
The Truth About 'Preferential' Treatment
Every time I read another news story about some half-witted researcher who claims to have found proof that sexual orientation can be changed, I cringeperhaps even more than the rest of you do. That's because I blame myselfactually my entire generationfor the fact that so many people still regard homosexuality as some sort of choice. Back in the early 1970s, when I came out, almost anybody who was politically correctwhich was pretty much anyone I would care to hang out withwas adopting a new phrase to inquire as to whether one was queer: "What's your sexual preference?" Keep in mind that most of us also used the phrase "Far Out!" and wept over a movie with the theme, "Love means never having to say you're sorry." Actually, "sexual preference" sounded pretty good for awhile. It wasn't mean spirited, like asking whether you were straight or a fruit. But it didn't quite ring true to me. When someone asked my sexual preference, my first instinct was to say "blonds" or "surfer types." What really bothered me was the way so many of the guys I met talked of their sexual identity as if they believed their own rhetoric about it being a process of selection. "I have decided to explore the other side of my sexual nature," said a liar during a gay rap group I frequented at a Berkeley coffeehouse in 1972. I later learned that the guy had recently dumped his high-school girlfriend after nine years of pretending to wait for marriage. (The Catholic Church made at least that much easy for its young gay members.) "We're all omni-sexual," said Jeremiah, a gangly young man who smelled strongly of peppermint incense. He was trying to cruise the liar, so he soothingly stretched out the important syllable O-O-M-M-M. "I'm not an OMni," I said, interrupting their amorous eye contact. "I'm just gay. I always knew it, just didn't have the courage to admit it to anyone until very recently." Jeremiah's "Om" trailed off into an "Um? What do you mean that you ALWAYS were gay, brother? Why, all of human sexuality is a continuum, a constant evolution in alignment with everything in nature from the flora to the..." "I knew it when I was three years old," I said. "Didn't understand what on earth it meant, but I craved Dave Bowen's body. He was my next door neighbor. He was fourat the time." "But you were simply exploring as do so many children of the Universe." "Yeah, I liked to explore Dave's body. I'd make him take his shirt off and we'd wrestle around in the grass. But you know, Jerry (Jeremiah hated it when I called him Jerry), never once have I felt that kind of attraction for anyone female." "There is a season unto heaven for all things," he said. "Both the male and female figure offer many pleasures to explore." "I'm not disagreeing with you, man. But to appreciate them both in a sensual way, you have to be bisexual. Not everyone is bisexual, no more than everyone is gay." "Well, it's my preference then." "I'd prefer to think of it that way." After awhile (and quite a few more Berkeley rap sessions), the term "sexual preference" began to make better sense to me. The prevailing thinking went something like this: If the bigoted Bible-toting right-wingers who hate gays were allowed to believe we were born that way, they would forever have a license to harass us as suffering from a birth defect or mental illness. If we were nuts, we deserved no rights. Perhaps they could even have us institutionalized. If, on the other hand, sexuality was perceived as an intelligent "preference," we were simply part of a movement of self-exploration in tune with the spirit of the "free love" era. Clear thinking heterosexuals (and some drug-impaired ones) would tolerate, even respect and support us in our campaign for gay liberation. We could handle the heat of bigots calling us sinners much better than being labeled defective by society at large. So, "sexual preference" it would be. Like other young journalists of the time, I lobbied the newspapers and magazines I worked for to add the term to their stylebooks. It was actually easier to persuade publications to use that phrase than to substitute "gay" for "homosexual." (Do you know how difficult it is to make a headline fit if it has to say "Homosexual Group Rallies for Rights"?) Despite the youthful efforts of my generation, the bigots continued to call us both sinners and sickos. The political "new right" launched a major new campaign against us, and a faded pop singer named Anita Bryant made a comeback belittling us. Then, at some point in time, probably the early 80s, I began hearing a new phrase: "sexual orientation." It was a bit cold and clinical, but it fit my lifelong reality. And it seemed neutral, with no inference of illness or sin. Now the bigots would have to respect our natural, normal orientation to be gay. We campaigned to the press to stop using the offensive term "sexual preference" and get-with-the-new-program. "Sexual orientation" was the phrase we'd always been searching for... You know the rest of the story. Whatever we say can and will be held against us. The bigots are still nipping at our high heels. Instead of accepting us as an integral part of the natural order, they salivate like Pavlov's dogs whenever a legitimate researcher finds new evidence that sexual identity is part of our complex genetic makeup. Our enemies now dream of the day when they can break the code, finally weeding out diversity in human sexuality, pigmentation and possibly even political dissent. Meanwhile, all too many TV news anchors and radio talk-show hosts still speak of our gayness as a matter of "sexual preference." Faux researchers who fell for our preferential phrase of yore continue to try to make names for themselves by changing the behavior of confused or guilt-ridden gay and bisexual people. Quasi-religious reactionary groups such as Exodus are thrilled to recruit new candidates for sexual repression. Given the opposition we have withstood, it is truly amazing how well adjusted most gay men and women are. It makes me wonder. Is our tendency to be happy, productive people a choice we make? Or is it simply part of our gay genetic nature? Now, there's something for the neo-scientists to start researching. Meanwhile, have a happy Gay and Lesbian Pride Month. Bill Sievert was a long-time resident of Rehoboth Beach until his genetic makeup carried him away to sunny Florida. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 11, No. 6, June 1, 2001. |