LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
AGING! Everybody's Doing It! |
by David Dagenais |
Americans don't generally spend a great deal of time being concerned about the elderly, except when aging becomes personal, when they themselves, relatives, or close friends experience the negative effects of growing older. Yet, the National dialogue wavers both in its support for the elderly and its frustration with the problems associated with aging. The GLBT community reflects this same ambiguity, but may be "youth-centric" to an even greater degree.
Even so, we all grow older, and many of us will have years in which to develop our "retirement selves," for good or Ill. Mental health care professionals find working with the elderly especially difficult. Late-in-life issues differ markedly from those encountered in earlier periods, including accelerating losses, as friends and family move on, become ill or incapacitated, or die. Enormous changes in lifestyleincluding retirement, decreased income, changes in residence, even entering alternative living arrangementscan result in greatly increased stress at a time when the older citizen may well be less emotionally able to deal with this. In addition, unresolved problems from the past can again become central, with resulting feelings of confusion and powerlessness as old age seems to close the door to finally bringing to closure past losses, pains, and disappointments, both personal and interpersonal. Fears about personal safety and security that were once manageable may become dominant as the ability to deal with challenging circumstances decreases. Health care workers in the field of gerontologylike those who work with the very youngare underpaid and often under-trained. Despite enormous governmental and private expenditures, only the affluent are able to access quality care, and there are limited alternatives or assistance for those with fewer resources. National policy is ill-defined at best, and contrasting images of "wealthy" retirees are projected beside those of "pensioners" barely able to scrape by as fixed incomes limit options and become decreasingly sufficient to meet basic needs. The elderly poor sit at the margins, outdone by time and circumstances and many die before their time. As thoughts turn inwarda normal process that can be comforting and fulfilling for most seniorsmany others react in fear, unprepared to handle these final life stages. For these, it sometimes is just too hard and too late to undertake a course of actions that can facilitate this normal period of reflection and summation. Too, medical challenges begin to pile up and physical failings as well as the normal aches and pains that come with age take a toll on physical activities. Increasingly frequent doctor's visits signify these failings. Feelings of hopelessness in the face of unremitting decreases in the ability to regulate daily living skills may lead to severe depression, often even suicide. Mental illnesses that are most often associated with the elderly begin to occur, illnesses like Alzheimer's and senility. The causes of many of these are neurological; others are psychological. Most, however, have physical as well as social and emotional dimensions. Well-meaning professionalsif not properly trainedmay not be prepared to adequately evaluate, assess, and treat such conditions. Prescription drug interactions complicate the situation as the types and dosages of medications increase and drug side effects and interactions, in addition to metabolic changes in the elderly, alter the effects of medications. Use of illicit drugs and alcohol can add to this problem or may be problems in and of themselves. Among minorities, the problems of aging are handled in various ways; the GLBT community is just beginning to approach this issue in an organized way. Although initial awareness and baby steps are underway (the first GLBT retirement communities opened only in the last few years), there is and has long been a bias toward being, acting, and appearing young (or at least youthful), especially in the gay male population. Constant focus on youth and the advantages of being young give short shrift to the positive sides of being older. True in the general population, this has been even more true for gay males. Indeed, instead of being valued, the elderly are often the targets of derision to be taken advantage of and frequently ignored and forgotten. This all being said, there are many good reasons to celebrate age and the advantages that come with it. The transitional eventfor most of us, retirementbegins a new stage in life and a new opportunity for growth and development. Time and resourceshowever limitedto re-order life to a less stressful pace now becomes available. This is a time to explore new interests, new relationships, and new ways of relating to our peers, our friends, our families, and to the larger community. Usually, there are new opportunities to engage in different interests or revive old interests that were put aside in order to meet the many more immediate needs. In addition, new levels of maturity can make life a lot easier and give much greater self-satisfaction as well as an increased sense of accomplishment. Wisdom and knowledge, though not solely attributes of the older set, tend to become more widely a part of the character of older gays, lesbians, bi- and transsexuals, as is true for our heterosexual counterparts. Seniors' talents, skills, wisdom, and inner strength are available to the younger members of the community, although opportunities for others to benefit from them are not often enough available. Also, while the archetypal role of the elder in society had until recently been all but ignored in GLBT society, the situation is changing as GLBTs begin to recognize and put into practice the transitional benefits of "generations," a concept that was generally nonexistent among sexual minorities until a very few years ago. Organizations and family groupings that exist over extended periods of time encourage community and continuity, and GLBTs are now widely beginning to view themselves as part of something bigger, something special, the definition of which we can all take part in. David Dagenais, MSW, LCSW, a licensed therapist in Maryland and in Delaware, is currently employed in the field of addictions and has wide experience in a many other areas. He will be facilitating group sessions for senior gays at CAMP Rehoboth. You can reach him at davdgn@msn.com or by telephone at 302-684-5195. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 16, No. 1 February 10, 2006 |