LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
CAMP Safe |
by Sal Seeley LCSW |
The Bottom Line
The bottom line is that conversations about sex and safe sex are not as "cut and dried" as one might imagine. They can be quite complicated. But let's make some distinctions first: Not all people who have unsafe sex are "barebackers." There are people who, on occasion, choose to have condom-less sex that would not identify themselves as "barebackers." "Barebackers," more or less, are people who get off on the idea of going completely condom-less just for the fun of it. It's almost as if Barebackers don't consider sex, real sex, unless it's without a condom. Barebacking is gaining momentum. Online, there are web sites set up for it and bareback porn is reinstating itself into the mainstream. The whole thing teeters on the belief that if two people want to willingly engage in bareback sex then they have the right to do so and can decide for themselves what is right and healthy for their body. But doesn't that just create an allure for unsafe sex and encourage other people to try it out? Those who advocate for bareback sex want HIV prevention programs to look like dishonest sex police who infringe upon people's individual right to choose. The truth is we are anything but sex police. Many of us in the field are sex positive. We encourage gay men to empower themselves by protecting one another through safe sex and fighting those in politics who prevent us from equal health care and recognition. We in the safe sex world seem to constantly trip up on the idea that it's the safe sex message which isn't strong enough. That people don't know how to use condoms or that safe sex options aren't out there. But having spent so much time in this world I am starting to understand that the message IS out there and people do know the options. People know about safe sex and condoms and the risks associated with unsafe sex, but some are choosing not to have safe sex. The message needs to change from "wear condoms" or "boycott bareback" to "WHY are we doing this to each other and to our community?" Is it really worth it? Sure, the meds are out there, but even with the meds, it's still an epidemic and it's still a lottery. Why take a chance with your life. The only thing we can do is present the most honest information possible and encourage others to make the best choices for themselves and for their lives. Talk about this topic. Really get it out there and let your friends and brothers know how much you care for them and how much they need to care for themselves.Sal Seeley is Program Director of CAMPsafe, an HIV/AIDS program funded through a contract with the Delaware Division of Public Health. E-mail salvatoreseeley@aol.com. Confidential HIV testing is available at CAMP Rehoboth. Call Sal at 302-227-5620 to schedule an appointment. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 18, No. 12 August 22, 2008 |