LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
High CAMP |
by Brent Mundt |
Faux Cajuns with A Real Cause
Notes from the Rehoboth Beach Gay-Jun Gumbo Fest '08 On Saturday, February 2, twelve happy chefs gave it the good old Cajun college tryand hundreds turned out to mingle with an off season in-crowd that would make Kathy Griffin blush. The Cajuns were fauxthe cause was realbecause paradoxically Rehoboth Beach Main Street Gumbo is designed to send real Cajuns the resources to rebuild their devastated coastline. Take it from a bona fide born-and-bred bayou boyyou Yankees can cook Cajun but you can't strip. Then again, New Orleans distinguishes itself as the only place on earth that knows how to turn the adage "drink 'em pretty" into a citywide projecta debauchery unknown to Delaware. Rehoboth's Main Street proudly produces 12 gumbos for a PG-13 version of carnivalGirls gone mild. Boys, too. But all you damn Yankees need is alcohol and attitude. That's it! You have the fun crowd. Beads, boas, masks and music! It took me a while to diagnose the problem: You just need more fluids. Take two pitchers of Hurricanes and call me on Ash Wednesday. Here's a one page master class: First, the Cajun version of the old standard "How do I get to Carnegie Hall?" (practice practice practice) is as follows: When a tourist in New Orleans asks, "How do I get to the French Quarter?" the answer is, "First, you make a roo." (Correctly spelled roux). Everyone down south knows that gumbo, cholesterol, and big butts wouldn't exist without Cajun napalm: the roux. Secondly, it's a given that if you're born a Cajun, you're mama is a good cook. So once you're grown up and on your own, and your roux comes out perfect, you then can tell your friends, "I made a gumbo so good, it'll make you wanna slap yo mama!" Thirdly, you need to learn to bend your elbow before noon. This simple orthopedic activity will not only help you to slap yo' mama, but it will also flex your crucial ABSD (Adult Beverage Sipping Device) used frequently to drink vodka and/or gin, a/k/a transparent silly sauce, preparing you for the next phase... Showing your _______ (you fill in the blank) So now, are you ready to go to downtown Rehoboth Beach and wreak some Henlopen havoc? Can you judge a roux, slap yo' mama, work your ABSD, and show your fill in the blank? OK, follow me. First stop: Cultured Pearl. Flash fried tempura alligator topped the gumboa great touch, but the booze-to-gumbo consumption at the bar was too low this early and the quiet sober woman next to me said, "I prefer my alligator on my shoes." Check, please! (BTW, I don't vote since it would be tantamount to Barbara Cook stopping into karaoke bars.) Across the street at Dogfish Head, not only was his roux divine, but they got extra pepper points! I'd slap my mama, but she's "not with us" any longer. I realize that Christina Crawford would have LOVED this outing! And now we have beads (bargaining power for hopefully viewing "fill in the blanks.") Cloud 9 was hopping and the gumbo good. Dos Locos won the wigs and boas award...and the line at Purple Parrot was evidence of the power of hurricanes. Irish Eyes were smiling with Marcus, their New Orleans trained chef, brought in as a ringer for the gumbo contest. Allison at Go Fish was serving Cajun gumbo with a British accent, and when we turned the corner at the Frogg Pond I thought I'd died and gone home. Live jazz sax was wafting through the airand it was here that Candi Apple of Philly showed me her cleavage. Bush league stuff, but still it was technically a fill in the blank. We checked out the roux rumors that had spread about Caf Sol having a bona fide Cajun chef and sure enough a great slap-several-mamas gumbo awaited us there. Retro Caf was playing Dixieland Jazz and setting bananas aflame in the dining room, creating a genuine backdrop for their smoky gumbo. Stoney Lonen's bar was packed with gumbo voters, and they won the "thank-you for serving with a real spoon" award. The final stop on the gumbo train was Mariachi where their Latin version gumbo was served in tiny, house-made tortilla bowls. The colossal joke in N.O. is that drag queens take the pancake makeup off just in time to have ashes rubbed on their foreheads on Ash Wednesday morning. We here in the nation's capital await what follows Super Tuesday and that is "Ass Wednesday." We Dems will eventually get a proud donkey named Hillary or Barack. They just get an ass. Altogether now, let's show him our fill in the blank. Rehoboth Main Street will announce the winner of the Gumbo Fest on Feb. 15. Go to www.rehomain.com to see if Purple Parrot will retain the title of "Best Gumbo in downtown Rehoboth." Brent Mundt makes a living in Washington and a life in Rehoboth Beach. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 18, No. 01 February 08, 2008 |