LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
BOOKED Solid |
A Review By Rebecca James |
The Life You Longed For Maribeth Fischer (2007)
Her daughter's red hair is a shining beacon of the love of Grace's grandparents. Their marriage one week after a chance meeting was the foundation of a lifelong marriage. "And they stayed that way, still holding hands into their seventies, going dancing every Thursday night. He still called her 'sweetheart,' whistled a catcall when she entered a room 'dressed to the nines.' She still blushed: 'Oh, Wayne, for goodness sake.' Fifty-nine years. After one week. Destiny. Fate." Some people just know the love of a soulmate when they see it. Others never look for it, seemingly satisfied by the routines of a commonly held space and time. But others, like Grace, don't recognize it until it has almost slipped through their fingers. The depth and complexity of the thoughts and emotions (Fear? Anguish? Guilt? Frustration?) of Grace Connolly, the main character in Maribeth Fischer's latest novel The Life You Longed For, drive a fascinating and multi-layered plot. Grace is a well-educated mother of three. Her three-year-old son, Jack, suffers from a rare and deadly mitochondrial disease, a genetic disorder that has sent Grace on a medical scavenger hunt of sorts over the past few years. She's exhausted and depressed and frustrated. She's also recently had an affair with an old high school boyfriend. Fischer allows Grace to subconsciously question via the affair all of the choices she made in her life. What if? What if? Her husband Stephen uses swimming as his outlet, a way to feel weightless, he explains. Grace "wished there was some way to explain how being with Noahtalking to him on the phone, getting his emails, lying in his bed in the middle of the afternoon, walking with him along the wrack line of the ocean, watching cormorants dive into the slate-colored waterwas her way of being weightless, of escaping to another landscape where, for a little while, what mattered most seemed as simple and as primal as breathing." Not once does Grace question having her children, but she often used her time with Noah as a way to distance herself from the fear she lives with daily. It's not that she stopped feeling these emotions about Jack's illness. Instead, the affair seemed to give her a different perspective on her lifenot for the better. Fischer complicates matters with the introduction of a Munchausen syndrome accusation. Grace supposedly fits the profile of these abusive mothers: she's a bright, gregarious, attentive, tireless advocate for her child with a medical background. It seems unthinkable, but mothers suffering from this syndrome thrive on the attention they get from their child's illness; their need for it drives them to keep their children from getting better. A final piece of the profile is a pattern of deceptive behavior. It is here, with the affair exposed, that Grace's precarious hold on her life crumbles. A hospitalized Jack is removed from her and Stephen's custody. A current Rehoboth Beach resident and founder of the Rehoboth Beach Writer's Guild, Maribeth Fischer allows her Delaware beach experiences to color her novel. Grace and her family have vacationed in Rehoboth, her best friend is a lesbian who, along with her partner, also has children and serves as a sounding board for Grace's distress and regret. The ice cream Grace spoons into her mouth as she confronts these feelings and the accusation is the perfect symbol to Grace of what she has done: "this is the taste of betrayal: cold and rich and so achingly sweet that for a momentmaybeyou forget how much you are about to lose." The settings of Rehoboth, Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Cape May will be familiar to many readers, especially as they are drawn into this suspenseful and heartbreaking prose. As the novel draws to a close, Grace is able to begin to see how the moments she didn't have responsibility for choosing had just as great an impact on her life as those she thought she may have missed or made mistakes with. Grace begins to repair the damage she has done to her marriage and her family, even as she continues to deal with her guilt. Fischer does not leave her readers guessing at the outcome; for better or for worse, readers will watch as Grace begins the next chapter of her life. Rebecca James is a secondary school assistant principal in Pennsylvania who enjoys her ever-diminishing reading time at the beach. She may be reached with comments or suggestions at james.rebeccaa@gmail.com. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 18, No. 13 September 12, 2008 |