True Colors–Loving Our Differences
Though here in Rehoboth we don’t celebrate pride until the fall, officially June is gay pride month. Thanks to our CAMPsafe man Sal Seeley, we have a busload of Rehoboth folks heading north for Pride NYC, and all month the CAMP Rehoboth Galleries will be featuring Pride Art—a collection of works by LGBT artists in our community.
Pride events grew out of a need for LGBT people to be recognized as equals on the great spectrum of human life. Like persecuted or disenfranchised people before us, our time had come. We owe a debt of gratitude to the many LGBT activists who struggled to lay the foundation we continue to build upon today. That foundation was about equality, respect, and having a sense of pride in who we are and who we were meant to be.
One of the first functions of gay pride was to empower us to love ourselves. By learning to love ourselves, we learn to love others—even those who are different from us or who we may perceive to be our enemies.
The foundational lessons of gay pride are well represented in the rainbow flag. It takes each color to create a whole rainbow. It is the perfect symbol for diversity.
I recently received a nice note about an article I wrote for this column. The note reminded me how diverse our individual human experiences can be, and how easy it is not to see or celebrate the differences among us.
Take the great news about the passage of the Delaware Civil Union Act for example. Everyone in the LGBT community, I’m sure, rejoiced when it became law. For some, however, the rejoicing was tempered. For couples, it was a great day; for single folks…not much changed. In my celebrating, I forgot to be sensitive to those in a different situation from my own.
That’s easy to do, and we all trespass on one another’s differences all the time. We don’t even realize we’re doing it. Generally, we’re all a little more cognizant of the big differences, the ones we can easily see, like race, nationality, age, and gender.
My family loves Christmas and our family celebration is a highlight of our year. For others, however (and for a variety of reasons) the holidays are a painful reminder of the loss of loved ones and/or better times. Just as the rainbow can be broken down into minute and almost indiscernible color changes, our diversity can be a far more subtle thing than we sometimes take the time to consider or even recognize.
A true celebration of the rainbow is an acknowledgement that the number of individual colors contained within it is infinitesimal, and yet most of us are only consciously aware of the basic spectrum. So too in our relationship with others, we look for broad stereotypes, and fail to see the richness that dwells within others.
When the first seed for this column popped into my head, I jotted down what I thought would make some interesting comparisons: men and women, young and old, rich and poor. On second glance they are all basic colors—ones found in a kindergarten box of Crayola crayons. We recognize them; we deal with them on a daily basis.
I wonder at the colors that go deeper than that. Why is it so much easier to fear others than it is to love them? Why do we hide our true selves in broad strokes of primary and secondary colors just so we will fit in with those around us?
The greatest thing we can do for one another is to share our true colors with each other, and to celebrate and love the differences they bring to the world around us.
In recent months there has been much written about bullying. Bullying thrives on differences, and it does its best to destroy them by forcing people to hide who they are—to act in ways that will not draw the attention of those around them.
It is always surprising to me when I hear someone who has experienced bullying, turn around and bully someone else. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, that same scenario often plays out in abusive relationships as well. In the same way, I’m taken aback when I hear LGBT people making fun of others. Haven’t we learned the lessons of the rainbow? Have we forgotten that gay pride was built on love, respect, and equality for all?
As gay people we should be the most empathetic of all to people who are different from us. We know what it is like to pretend to be red when in our hearts we are double rainbows.
As we celebrate pride month, I hope we each take the time to see the true colors of those around us.
Murray Archibald, Founder and President of the Board of Directors of CAMP Rehoboth, is an artist in Rehoboth Beach.