Stars and Swipes Forever in 420 Characters or Fewer
I think I’ve finally succumbed to Facebook-itis, a disease in which the human brain cannot focus on a single subject for more than 420 alphabetical or numerical characters, spaces and punctuation included. With hundreds of friends’ posts to peruse every day and my own frequent need to chime in, I no longer am able to concentrate long enough to do deep research or read lengthy articles as I had done for my entire life.
At least my illness is less crippling than Twitter-ism, where the messages must be even shorter and it’s nearly impossible to calculate the length of a permissible post. As one blogger tries to explain it, your maximum ReTweet is “140 chars minus RT + : + space + @ + number of characters in your Twitter username + space.” Just trying to interpret such a mathematical formula makes my mind wander elsewhere.
Hot summer weather intensifies my disease. At least in winter, I occasionally still try to curl on the sofa with my giant Shih Tzu and stare at the pages of a book—until some celebrity moment on television distracts me. But in the good old summertime my failing concentration skills, also affected by years of watching rapid-fire video clips on MTV and YouTube and more recently by adding text messaging to my cell phone service, commands me to keep everything in my life short and breezy.
So, in the spirit of social-media posting, this column offers an un-taxing group of comments about recent newsmakers, most of whom merit a pat on the back and others a swift kick in the rear. To make it even easier to digest, I’ll label each graph as either a Star or Swipe.
Star: CNN anchor Don Lemon announces in his new memoir, Transparent, that he’s gay. The eloquent and handsome newsman told The New York Times that most of his co-workers knew his orientation but that he wanted to come clean with the public because “if you’re going to be in the business of news, and telling people the truth, you’ve got to be honest. You’ve got to have the same rules for yourself as you do for everyone else.” What a refreshing notion. Perhaps at least one of his CNN colleagues will finally see the light. Although other media celebs have come out, notably Rachel Maddow of MSNBC, Lemon acknowledges that being black made his decision especially difficult. “In the black community they think you can pray the gay away,” he told The Times.
Swipe: I can’t help but wonder what skeletons lie in the closet of Stacey Campfield, a state senator from Tennessee who has waged a six-year battle to make it illegal to mention the words “gay” or “homosexual” in elementary or intermediate school rooms. This spring he persuaded the state Senate to approve a modified version of what has become known as the “Don’t Say Gay” bill. If approved by the House (where it comes up next year), the law would ban discussion of gay and lesbian sexuality in any prepared instructional materials. Teachers who break the law would commit a misdemeanor, punishable by as much as 30 days in jail.
Campfield is completely unsympathetic to the appeals of educators who note that middle school is precisely the age when many students become acutely aware of their sexuality and need reliable information to build their self-esteem. The measure would also make it more difficult for schools to address antigay bullying. At least bullies might be held in violation of the law if they call anyone “gay” or “homo” during class. The word “faggot,” however, would be exempt, so go to it kids!
Star: Responding to the “Can’t Say Gay” bill, out actor George Takei has offered his name as a replacement. In a YouTube video and fast-growing Facebook group, Takei suggests that Tennessee educators and students simply say they’re in favor of “Takei marriage,” enjoy marching in “Takei pride parades” and, at Christmas, don their “Takei apparel.” Nice idea, George.
Swipe: Where did Iowa for Freedom raise the money for its successful campaign last fall to vote out three of the seven State Supreme Court justices who had ruled unanimously to legalize same-sex marriage? According to The Los Angeles Times, a lot of financial help came from Newt Gingrich, who used his well-heeled network to bundle over $350,000 for the antigay-marriage cause. Now Gingrich’s pals are setting their sites on the four remaining justices, who weren’t up for election last year. Also helping to create money to oppose the justices were fellow Republican presidential hopefuls Tim Pawlenty and Rick Santorum... The 2014 race promises to be quite an election cycle. And we haven’t even mentioned Michele Bachmann yet.
Star: The San Francisco Giants are about to become the first professional sports team to record an It Gets Better video to speak out against antigay bullying. More than 10,000 of the videos have been produced since last fall. However, until now, no male professional sports team has done so. Let’s hope other teams follow the SF baseball players’ giant step.
Swipe: Harold Camping’s “Rapture” turned to “Rupture” last month, leading to some great jokes for the knowing but lots of unneeded fear for naïve believers. Never one to admit an error, Camping has since claimed that “God’s mercy” lead to the “disappointment” of May 21. Rather than making humanity suffer for five months until the “final day,” Camping says the merciful Lord has decided to let the Earth go out with a big bang on October 21. In the meantime, of course, Camping’s Family Radio continues to solicit monetary pledges via its secure online form. Hey, Harold, how about sending some of that money to the fools who gave away everything they had before May 21? And how about coughing up some funds for mental-health counseling for the sorry souls who believe(d) you?
Star: Chaz Bono’s courage in allowing documentary filmmakers to cover his entire emotional and physical transition into a physical male has resulted in a beautifully insightful and eye-opening film, Becoming Chaz. Perhaps even more revealing than the surgical scenes are those depicting his struggle to adjust to the initiation of testosterone into his system. As any guy knows, testosterone can be quite vexing, and Chaz didn’t shy away from showing viewers just how irritable it sometimes made him (often at the expense of his partner). Kudos also to filmmakers Fenton Bailey and Randy Barbato, as well as the Oprah Winfrey Network which gave the film a wide national audience during its premiere airing last month.
Star: Lady Gaga’s chart-topping anthem “Born This Way” may sound a bit too much like an old Madonna song but its lyrics have struck a chord with countless queer kids around the world—and some of their parents. As the mother of a young gay man recently told me, “It’s my favorite song ever. My son has had a difficult time accepting himself, and Gaga’s lyrics are now on his lips all the time. Mine, too.”
You go, Gaga!
Okay, my fellow and sister obsessive-compulsives, you may have noted that every one of the entries in this column exceeds 420-characters. On Facebook, I often spend several minutes trying to edit a post to hit that maximum on the nose. After all, cyberspace is a terrible thing to waste. But I’m not writing this for Facebook; it’s for Letters. And back in the day, letters were a relatively long form of communication. For now, I’m just grateful that I still can compose a thought of 600 characters or more.
Bill Sievert’s comic mystery novel Sawdust Confessions is available on amazon.com and via other booksellers. Email Bill Sievert