It’s Back Into the Closet for Too Many Seniors
“Within the next two weeks I will be going into assisted living. Due to my financial situation, I will have to share a room with another man. The thought of going back into a closet is making me ill. Frankly, I’m afraid of telling anyone that I’m gay.”
— 73-year-old gay male, Sylmar, CA.
When I read that quotation from a respondent in a new national study on the problems of aging for LGBT Americans, a shiver went up my spine. Can you imagine living most of your adult life openly as a homosexual and then being frightened back into dishonesty in your final years? Without strong legal protections in place—and, in my view, alternative gay-owned facilities for our community—this is the fate that awaits many of us in traditional nursing homes and other long-term care facilities.
The study, “LGBT Older Adults in Long Term Care Facilities: Stories From The Field,” was compiled by The National Senior Citizens Law Center (which is not an LGBT-specific organization) in conjunction with The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, SAGE (Services and Advocacy for LGBT Elders), Lambda Legal, The National Center for Lesbian Rights and The National Center for Transgender Equality—with fundraising assistance from the Arcus Foundation. The resulting 32-page report is filled with startling statistics, and I encourage everyone to read the key findings, or download a PDF on LGBT longterm care.
The nationwide study surveyed 284 seniors as well as 485 staff members and social service providers, who included ombudsmen, officials of state agencies on aging, nursing home administrators, doctors, nurses, legal aides, psychologists and hospice workers. Their final report begins by acknowledging the obvious: LGBT elders are more likely to be single, childless and estranged from their biological families, and reliant on “families of choice,” especially caring friends. Without traditional support systems in place, gay people more often end up in institutions whose staffs and other residents are un-accepting and often downright hostile to them. The result is a sudden loss of dignity and even medical mistreatment.
When asked whether LGBT residents could be open with facility staff, only 22 percent of LGBT respondents answered “yes.” And only 16 percent of respondents who did not identify as LGBT older adults responded “yes.” Of the 289 service providers surveyed, 247 felt that LGBT clients “were not safe coming out or were not sure that they should come out.”
More than half (53 percent) of all respondents said they believed that staff would abuse or neglect the person. A total of 89 percent of all respondents also predicted that staff would discriminate against an LGBT elder who was out of the closet. A majority also said they believed (or had evidence) that other residents would discriminate (526 or 81 percent) and, more specifically, that other residents would isolate an LGBT resident (500 or 77 percent).
Perhaps most dramatic, 328 respondents (43 percent) reported 853 specific instances of mistreatment. And 124 of those responses came directly from LGBT residents of nursing homes or other long-term care facilities. The forms of mistreatment included:
- Verbal or physical harassment from other residents, 23 percent;
- Refused admission or readmission and/or attempted or abrupt discharge, 20 percent;
- Verbal or physical harassment from staff, 14 percent;
- Staff refusal to accept medical power of attorney from resident’s spouse or partner, 11 percent;
- Restriction of visitors, 11 percent;
- Staff refusal to refer to transgender resident by preferred name or pronoun, nine percent;
- Staff refusal to provide basic services or care, six percent;
- Staff denial of medical treatment, six percent.
It’s no wonder the gentleman quoted at the beginning of this article is terrified. He can’t financially afford his own room, so he must share quarters with an assigned stranger. One often hears that gay people are significantly more affluent than straight folks, but in my experience that’s mostly a myth (or wishful thinking). In recent years especially, gay people have struggled with the same Great Recession pressures as their hetero counterparts—losses in the stock market, declining home prices, spiraling health care costs, and dwindling savings accounts. Only a relatively small percent of aging gay baby-boomers can afford to go first class with private quarters or round-the-clock in-home long-term care.
The report urges state regulators and social service agencies to become more concerned with the rights and needs of gay clients of nursing homes, but (as I have written before) I believe the queer community has to establish its own institutions to serve us in our elder years. As the study’s findings indicate, we cannot count on assimilation or increased respect by the straight community to make us safe when we no longer are able to fend for ourselves.
What’s more, the institutions we create must be affordable. A number of pricey condo and home developments for gay seniors have fizzled in the financial turmoil of recent years. Instead of ritzy digs, perhaps a community of more modest modular homes (or “park models” as they are called at gay campgrounds) is the way to go. Put as much money as possible into health and group needs rather than real estate.
Every community with a sizeable gay community (and that’s pretty much every community) should begin planning for senior housing and long-term care services right away. Planners need to work with medical professionals and legal experts to determine the best ways to build our golden-years complexes to exceed state and federal requirements.
Meanwhile, we all need to lobby our state and local governments for specific protections for LGBT residents of existing nursing and long-term care facilities.
Time passes quickly and we need to get to work before it catches up with more of us. I, for one, don’t want any closets in my long-term care accommodations. How about you?
Bill Sievert’s queer comic mystery novel “Sawdust Confessions” is available through major online booksellers. Email Bill Sievert.