The Proposal!
September is my favorite month of the year living in Rehoboth! Safe to assume I’m not alone in this sentiment. For most locals, as much as we love the traditional summer period of Memorial Day to Labor Day, the often frantic pace of those months leaves many of us yearning for a period of relaxation and rejuvenation before facing the change of season. After all, the crowds have lessened, parking becomes easier (and free!), ocean waters are warmest, and the weather is arguably the most beautiful of the entire year.
For me, September is also the month I celebrate starting a relationship with the love of my life, my partner Eric, 22 years ago. Many of you know me through my involvement with this wonderful organization, CAMP Rehoboth. I wish all of you knew me for sharing my life with him.
Over the years, like many of you, we’ve been asked countless times, “Do you guys plan to get married someday?” Traditionally, our response has always been, “Not until the state we call ‘home’ makes it legal, will we do so.” Until a few months ago, we wondered if that would ever happen.
Having been involved with Delaware’s efforts to pass SB 30, the Civil Union bill, this past spring, Eric and I have since talked at length about our special day (for those who may not know, the bill was signed in to law by Governor Jack Markell on May 11 and will go into effect on January 1, 2012).
To a large extent, the planning is the obvious part of the process—the date, guest list, caterer, photographer, florist, all of the traditional details that go into making this the most special day of our lives.
But for same-sex couples, one detail, at least in my mind, is often overlooked—the proposal. Given that the notion of marriage (or union, for those who will question me) hasn’t been an option for most of us, why would we even consider a proposal? I mean, it seems like such a foregone conclusion, right? This may be the case for most, but not for this Capricorn-romantic (thanks for the reminder, Tony Burns), often traditionalist, from central PA.
After all these years of waiting, I wanted to shout it from the rooftops for the world to hear, “this is the man I love and I want to spend the rest of my life with him!” So on Saturday, Sept 3, during the Live Auction of Sundance, that’s exactly what I did. With microphone in hand, before several hundred people and many of our closest friends, I got down on one knee and said, “On September 15 of this year, Eric, and I will celebrate our 22nd anniversary together. I’m 45 years old and have spent half of my life with this wonderful man and I hope to spend the rest of my life with him. Eric, on September 15 of next year, you’d make the happiest man in the world, if you’d agree to be my husband.”
I couldn’t even muster, “Will you marry me,” but the point was obvious. As the crowd erupted in applause, I couldn’t have been more proud to be standing there hugging him, and kissing him. For both of us, it was a very special, and yes, traditional moment. One we will remember as long as we live. And I dare say, many in the room will remember it as well.
Since then, I’ve heard from several people who witnessed the proposal, most expressing congratulatory wishes. Some have even recognized the importance this kind of statement is to the community at large. While this wasn’t my intent, I certainly appreciate that it resonated with so many.
Beyond hearing from these people, however, one person responded to me in a way that I will remember as much as I will the proposal. After the Auction, one of the City employees who worked the event in the Convention Center stopped me and said, with a tear in his eye, “That was a really cool thing you did tonight Chris. I don’t know that I’ll ever forget that.”
The significance for me was that this was from a hard-working, middle-America, married man, residing in Sussex County, Delaware. Forgive my stereotype, but likely one who never thought he’d see a public proposal between two people of the same sex.
While memorable for him, it was an incredibly precious and poignant moment for me. What a great story we can tell in years to come.
Chris Beagle, a realtor in Rehoboth and former mortgage officer, serves on the Board of CAMP Rehoboth. Email Chris Beagle