A Rolling Stone Gathers Some Moss
Some days I experience a kick-in-the-pants moment that makes me realize I have become, for lack of a better word, old.
By now I should be used to the idea, given that I turned 65 in March and was admitted to the Hair-thinning Age of Medicarius, which has welcomed me with complimentary cataract surgeries as well as an assortment of free medical tests from EKGs to ultrasounds. But, more than all the government-subsidized doctor visits, it’s the little things that give me pause.
Take this morning in the bathroom. I usually maintain a stack of current magazines near the commode for perusal during my post-coffee break. The throne is where I have long kept up with the latest pop-music phenomena courtesy of Rolling Stone, fashion trends via GQ, and travel scoops from Out.
But today I found none of those magazines in my pile. Rather, my choices were AARP Magazine, the cover of which promised a feature on “New Ways to Stop Joint Pain,” AARP Bulletin, which boasted a report on “Dead Men Voting,” and Senior Legacy Digest, a publication previously unknown to me and apparently deposited near my toilet by a home invader.
This is depressing, I thought. I must be at my mother’s house.… Come to think of it, I haven’t received an issue of Rolling Stone for a couple months now. Hmmm…I’ve been subscribing to the Stone for as long as I can remember—with automatic renewals—and I know my credit card is still valid. In fact, I used to receive frequent emails from the magazine urging me to purchase special issues and participate in surveys. But all the correspondence stopped right about the time I hit 65. Could it be that I’ve been dropped for being too old to rock and roll—or to buy the sporty cars whose ads often dominate the magazine’s pages?
I haven’t had time to call Rolling Stone yet to ask if I’m right. But I do want to remind founding Editor Jann Wenner, for whom I used to work when we were both much younger, you’re still a year older than me!
I may be wrong about the reason my subscription was cancelled without my knowledge, but the magazine’s demographics indicate that only 13 percent of its readership is over age 55, and there is no breakdown for readers over 65, even though we were the ones who made the Stone our bible back when Janis Joplin was belting the blues and Mick really could move like Jagger. GQ on the other hand reports that a whopping one percent of its readers are over age 65. I guess we Boomers no longer require sartorial recommendations once we start buying plaid pants and white loafers—though I’ve seen both featured on GQ’s young models.
At least I’m still receiving copies of Letters from CAMP Rehoboth, which is one of the most age-diverse publications I’ve ever read.
As we get older, the magazines and clothing styles we favor may change, but most of our social and political priorities do not. In fact, some issues become personally more important to us with each passing year—not the least of which is same-sex marriage rights.
John and I just began our 40th year together, an accomplishment that reminds me not only of how much I’ve aged but also how far we still have to go to gain legal recognition of our longstanding couplehood. Yes, we now can get married in eight states, none near where we live. We can register as domestic partners, but neither local registration nor a state-issued marriage license addresses my key concern at this point in my life—Social Security survivor benefits.
The situation was addressed this month in a letter to newspapers written by the mayors of five major U.S. cities, representing 230 leaders from municipalities large and small from coast to coast who support the Mayors for the Freedom to Marry Campaign. The work of America’s mayors has been almost unnoticed in the campaign for same-sex marriage rights, but the list of those on our side, including top officials of heartland towns in Kansas, Ohio and Indiana, is quite impressive.
The letter was presented during the annual meeting of the U.S. Conference of Mayors and signed by Michael Bloomberg of New York, Thomas Menino of Boston, Annise Parker of Houston, Jerry Sanders of San Diego, and Antonio Villarigosa of Los Angeles. The mayors made the point: “Today, gay and lesbian couples—even those who share in the responsibilities and protections of marriage at the state level—are still viewed as strangers in the eyes of the federal government. The so-called Defense of Marriage Act creates a “gay exception” to the federal marriage law, which in all other instances respects marriages performed at the state level, and denies legally married same-sex couples the security afforded to other married couples.
“It excludes these couples from more than 1,100 federal responsibilities and protections, including Social Security survivor benefits, access to family health care and the ability to file joint tax returns. This treatment is unacceptable, and it is un-American.”
The mayors pledged to “work together to build a nation where all loving couples who want to make a lifelong commitment to one another can share in the joy and dignity of marriage.”
With such scattered support in Congress, it may seem a little ironic that a rising chorus of local leaders is assuming a major leadership role in helping gay partners win our federal rights. Good for the mayors, who are more in touch with their constituents than are many federal legislators. The mayors are urging their counterparts in other cities and towns to join their campaign. If your mayor is not on the list, ask her or him to sign on.
For couples like John and me, who—as my bathroom reading material reveals—are getting up there in years, it would be great comfort (and simple justice) to know that our four-decade relationship receives the same respect and financial parity from our government as do the relationships of married heterosexual partners.
Bill Sievert’s comic novel Sawdust Confessions is now available as an e-book for Kindle as well as in hard copy format at amazon.com. Email Bill Sievert