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July 13, 2018 - Booked Solid by Terri Schlichenmeyer

Blame It On Bianca Del RioBlame It On Bianca Del Rio: The Expert on Nothing with an Opinion on Everything
by Bianca Del Rio
c.2018, Dey Street Books, $21.99 / $26.99 Canada, 272 pages

You have no rope left.

You were at the end of yours last week, and you need help. Advice. Tell-me-what-to-do direction. Even a little hint would be great, and you just might find it in Blame It On Bianca Del Rio, by Bianca Del Rio.

Or not. Then again, Del Rio adamantly says that she gives “better advice than Dr. Phil” because what she espouses is based on “years and years of insightful prying and corrosive gossip.…” That’s what this “literary goldmine” is based on, but Del Rio cautions that she changed names and circumstances as she wrote this book. In other words, even if you see your name here, it’s not all about you.

Some of the problems here may be yours, though, and Del Rio offers “help”— first on health and grooming. This includes bad smells and what to do about them, rocking a bald look, dealing with serious illness, preparing yourself for a loved-one’s death, and looking one’s best (or lowering one’s standards).

This book wouldn’t be complete without Del Rio’s guidance on sex and relationships. She has a lot to say about LBD (Lesbian Bed Death), coming out as gay to your girlfriend of four years, how many cats a queen can have before crossing the line, and what to do about a terrible mother-in-law.

There’s “advice” here on how to deal with neighbors who don’t like you, and neighbors you like a little too much. Find out what Del Rio says about unknown paternity and how to avoid the same situation in the future. Get help on dealing with homophobia, parents who are overly supportive, bad Grandmas, and other family matters. Learn how to turn down an invitation, how to read an invitation, and how to be rude-not-rude.

Finally, find out what it’s like to be famous, fabulous, and fabulously famous. In a rush of snark and a long answer, Del Rio tells all.…

In case you hadn’t already figured it out—whether you are familiar with author Bianca Del Rio or not, whether you know her work or don’t—you need to know that there’s not one single thing about Blame It On Bianca Del Rio that’s PC. Nope. In fact, there may actually be parts of this book that could be downright insulting.

Contrary to what you were told in grade school, however, there are some books that need to be judged by their covers and this one is a good example. With one look, you should know what you’re getting yourself into, and a good insult is half the appeal of what you’ll have once you’re there. Mixed in with that is the occasional usable nugget, a lot of “you-go-girl!” empowerment, blunt MYOBiz answers to authentically sticky problems, and fall-down screaming-hysterical laughs hidden in the snarkiest of comments.

Blame It on Bianca Del Rio absolutely does not belong on the shelf with other Agony Aunt tomes. Get it, and it might not even need a shelf at all because you’ll want it close, all tied up in fun.▼

Terri Schlichenmeyer has been reading since she was three years old and never goes anywhere without a book. Always Overbooked, she lives on a hill in Wisconsin with two dogs and 15,000 books.

‹ July 13, 2018 - CAMP Arts by Doug Yetter up July 13, 2018 - CAMP Dates - July 13 - July 29 ›

Past Issues

Issues Index

  • November 16, 2018 - Issue Index
  • October 19, 2018 - Issue Index
  • September 21, 2018 - Issue Index
  • August 24, 2018 - Issue Index
  • August 10, 2018 - Issue Index
  • July 27, 2018 - Issue Index
  • July 13, 2018 - Issue Index
    • July 13, 2018 - Cover-to-cover with ISSUU
    • July 13, 2018 - The Way I See It by Murray Archibald
    • July 13, 2018 - Speak Out
    • July 13, 2018 - In Brief
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMPmatters by Murray Archibald
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMP Out by Fay Jacobs
    • July 13, 2018 - It's My Life by Michael Thomas Ford
    • July 13, 2018 - The Delaware Botanical Gardens by Brent Baker
    • July 13, 2018 - President's View by Chris Beagle
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMP Stories by Rich Barnett
    • July 13, 2018 - Millennial Times by James Adams Smith
    • July 13, 2018 - Sundance 2018 by Glen Pruitt
    • July 13, 2018 - The Real Dirt by Eric W. Wahl
    • July 13, 2018 - Around Town with Lisa Schlosser by Fay Jacobs
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMP Feature - The Last Straw by Stefani Deoul
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMP Cheers!
    • July 13, 2018 - Out & Proud by Stefani Deoul
    • July 13, 2018 - Ain't Too Proud to Parade by Stacey Fearheiley
    • July 13, 2018 - Volunteer Spotlight - Debra Doricchi
    • July 13, 2018 - Volunteer Thank You
    • July 13, 2018 - ParentGood by Brent Mundt
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMP Critters
    • July 13, 2018 - View Point by Richard Rosendall
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMPshots Gallery 1
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMPshots Gallery 2
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMPshots Gallery 3
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMPshots Gallery 4
    • July 13, 2018 - Deep Inside Hollywood by Romeo San Vicente
    • July 13, 2018 - Out & About by Eric C. Peterson
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMP Arts by Doug Yetter
    • July 13, 2018 - Booked Solid by Terri Schlichenmeyer
    • July 13, 2018 - CAMP Dates - July 13 - July 29
  • June 29, 2018 - Issue Index
  • June 15, 2018 - Issue Index
  • June 1, 2018 - Issue Index
  • May 18, 2018 - Issue Index
  • May 4, 2018 - Issue Index
  • April 6, 2018 - Issue Index
  • March 9, 2018 - Issue Index
  • January 26, 2018 - Issue Index

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