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May 18, 2018 - Millennial Times by James Adams Smith

Disconnected, Together: A Millennial (and Non-Millennial) Crisis

This has happened too many times: I go out to eat with friends (including the 50+ crowd) and after taking a bite of pasta, I look up to notice just about everyone at the table on their phones checking Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Grindr, Growlr, Scruff. Even playing video games. I think: maybe I should check my phone, too. I wouldn’t want to feel out of place. Then I think: hell no.

Either we remain disconnected, together. Or we put away our phones and talk like grownups.

I hear a lot of folks complaining about what will become of these tech-addicted youngsters, but isn’t this happening to everyone? Have we forgotten our basic social skills? Our ability to connect? How do we end this alarming trend of digital isolation?

Easier said than done. I am a millennial. I am currently working, attending school, and caring for an older relative. I’m so busy! How can I find time to actually talk to people face-to-face?

In a TED talk, psychologist Susan Pinker mentions an island in Italy with ten times as many centenarians as North America. What is their secret to longevity? Not just diet and exercise, but strong personal connections, face-to-face interaction, conversation. After watching the video, I realized that remaining socially disconnected presents serious health risks.

After doing some research and talking to a professor, I found some simple ways to put away the smart phone, break the ice, and reconnect with the human race:

Talking to people who are different. Left, right, straight, queer, theist, atheist, pagan. It doesn’t matter. Reaching out in a friendly way can help us better understand others and ourselves. We’re not so different, after all.

Active listening. How often do you pretend to listen to a friend while actually thinking of what you will say next? Guilty! Active listening is the practice of being fully present and playing close attention to what someone is saying. Sometimes all people want is someone who will listen.

Attending a social event, something you’ve never tried before. Tai Chi classes at CAMP Rehoboth, weekly “free writes” with The Rehoboth Writers Guild, continuing education classes at Del Tech Owens, free lectures and classes at Lewes Library, chess clubs, outdoors clubs, volunteer organizations. The options are endless.

Quality over quantity. The quality of friendships is much more than important the number of friends. I have found that maintaining a handful of close friendships is more valuable than a sea of mere acquaintances. Small talk gets boring. The best evenings I’ve had were not spent at loud dance parties, but with a small group of friends having meaningful conversation.

Inviting a friend to go on a walk. We have many lovely trails in the area: Cape Henlopen, Prime Hook Wildlife Refuge, Redden Forest. Sometimes it’s nice to take a break from obligations, leave the phones behind, and just walk. As Hippocrates wrote, “walking is the best medicine.”

The truth is, life can get very busy, even at the beach. In this age, it would not be practical to completely unplug everything and live like mountain hermits. But simply being more mindful of our social and technological habits may help us know when to connect (socially) and disconnect (technologically). The answer may be as simple as an old-fashioned phone call to a pal or co-worker: “let’s grab a coffee. I want to hear all about you.”▼

James Adams Smith works as an English tutor at Delaware Technical & Community College and is studying to become an occupational therapist.
 

‹ May 18, 2018 - CAMP Stories by Rich Barnett up May 18, 2018 - President's View by Chris Beagle ›

Past Issues

Issues Index

  • November 16, 2018 - Issue Index
  • October 19, 2018 - Issue Index
  • September 21, 2018 - Issue Index
  • August 24, 2018 - Issue Index
  • August 10, 2018 - Issue Index
  • July 27, 2018 - Issue Index
  • July 13, 2018 - Issue Index
  • June 29, 2018 - Issue Index
  • June 15, 2018 - Issue Index
  • June 1, 2018 - Issue Index
  • May 18, 2018 - Issue Index
    • May 18, 2018 - Cover-to-cover with ISSUU
    • May 18, 2018 - The Way I See It by Murray Archibald
    • May 18, 2018 - Speak Out - Letters to Letters
    • May 18, 2018 - In Brief
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMPmatters by Murray Archibald
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMP Out by Fay Jacobs
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMP Feature by Chris Azzopardi
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMP Stories by Rich Barnett
    • May 18, 2018 - Millennial Times by James Adams Smith
    • May 18, 2018 - President's View by Chris Beagle
    • May 18, 2018 - Straight Talk by David Garrett
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMP Critters
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMP Rehoboth Membership 2018 by Glen Pruitt
    • May 18, 2018 - View Point by Richard Rosendall
    • May 18, 2018 - Volunteer Spotlight - Patricia and Russell Stiles
    • May 18, 2018 - Volunteer Thank You
    • May 18, 2018 - Out and Proud by Stefani Deoul
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMPshots Gallery 1
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMPshots Gallery 2
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMPshots Gallery 3
    • May 18, 2018 - Women's FEST Sports Results
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMP Cheers!
    • May 18, 2018 - Hear Me Out by Chris Azzopardi
    • May 18, 2018 - Eating Out by Fay Jacobs
    • May 18, 2018 - Around Town by Sondra N. Arkin
    • May 18, 2018 - It's My Life by Michael Thomas Ford
    • May 18, 2018 - Out & About by Eric C. Peterson
    • May 18, 2018 - How Come It’s Poodle Beach?
    • May 18, 2018 - Spotlight on the Arts by Leslie Sinclair
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMP Arts by Doug Yetter
    • May 18, 2018 - Booked Solid by Terri Schlichenmeyer
    • May 18, 2018 - CAMP Dates
  • May 4, 2018 - Issue Index
  • April 6, 2018 - Issue Index
  • March 9, 2018 - Issue Index
  • January 26, 2018 - Issue Index

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