• Letters from CAMP Rehoboth
    • Current Issue
    • Past Issues
    • Advertising Information
    • Where Can I Get Letters?
    • The Write Stuff
  • Events
    • SUNFESTIVAL 2023
    • Women's FEST
    • Pride Month Listicle 
    • CAMP Rehoboth Chorus - Out for the Summer!
    • Block Party 2023
  • Programs
    • Arts & Culture
    • Education & Advocacy
    • Health & Wellness
    • Community Building
    • CAMP Facilities
  • About Us
    • Membership
    • Volunteers
    • Board of Directors
    • CAMP Rehoboth Staff
    • Reports and Financials
    • History
    • Employment Opportunities
    • Press
  • Resources
    • Beach Guide Directory
    • LGBTQ Resources
    • LGBTQ Providers
    • LGBTQ Delaware Data
    • Trans & Nonbinary Resources
    • BIPOC LGBTQ Resources
    • LGBTQ Local and National Resources Guide
  • Contact
  • Shop
close× Call Us 302-227-5620
close×

Search form

October 18, 2019 - CAMP Stories by Rich Barnett

House of Horrors: A Halloween Poem

A sticky floor,
And chairs that squeak,
Children who cry and kick your seat.

The passing of gas.
The crunching of ice.
Jerks who still talk when they turn down the lights.

Slurping through straws.
Oohs and loud aahs.
LED screens that glow in the dark.

People take calls.
And start family brawls.
You’d think it was a shopping mall.

Sugar Babies!
Sugar Babies!
Junior Mints!

Call me a cynic,
But there’s always a critic,
Asinine narration, minute by minute.

When seats are aplenty,
Please tell me why,
Some nut case inevitably sits so close by?

Popcorn and fake butter
Can’t mask body odor.
You can’t bring yourself to look over your shoulder.

So many little horrors,
I pronounce and announce,
A movie theatre to me is but a haunted house.

And just when I think it cannot get worse,
Under the seat I feel a wad of gum,
The final sign I should not have come.

Sugar Babies!
Sugar Babies!
Junior Mints! ▼

Rich Barnett is the author of The Discreet Charms of a Bourgeois Beach Town and Fun with Dick and James.

He has not set foot in a movie theatre since 2010, but he is seriously considering a trip to the Movies at Midway to see Downton Abbey in The Cube, a 6,300 square foot theatre with a floor to ceiling screen. What could go wrong?

‹ October 18, 2019 - Community News up October 18, 2019 - Film Festival ›

Past Issues

Issues Index

  • November 15, 2019 - Issue Index
  • October 18, 2019 - Issue Index
    • October 18, 2019 - Cover-to-cover with ISSUU
    • October 18, 2019 - The Way I See It by Murray Archibald
    • October 18, 2019 - In Brief
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMP Out by Fay Jacobs
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMP News
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMP Staff
    • October 18, 2019 - Live Theatre Strikes Again by Michael Gilles
    • October 18, 2019 - Sporty Gals by Anita Petit
    • October 18, 2019 - It's My Life by Michael Thomas Ford
    • October 18, 2019 - Ghosts Stories by Stefani Deoul
    • October 18, 2019 - Straight Talk by David Garrett
    • October 18, 2019 - Intentionally Inclusive by Wesley Combs
    • October 18, 2019 - Out & Proud by Stefani Deoul
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMP Cheers!
    • October 18, 2019 - The Real Dirt by Eric W. Wahl
    • October 18, 2019 - Eating OUT by Fay Jacobs
    • October 18, 2019 - Historical Headliners by Ann Aptaker
    • October 18, 2019 - Out & About by Eric C. Peterson
    • October 18, 2019 - Health and Wellness by Marj Shannon
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMPshots Gallery 1
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMPshots Gallery 2
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMPshots Gallery 3
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMPshots Gallery 4
    • October 18, 2019 - Community News
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMP Stories by Rich Barnett
    • October 18, 2019 - Film Festival
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMP Arts by Doug Yetter
    • October 18, 2019 - Booked Solid by Terri Schlichenmeyer
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMP Critters
    • October 18, 2019 - CAMP Dates - October 18 – December 1
  • September 20, 2019 - Issue Index
  • August 23, 2019 - Issue Index
  • August 9, 2019 - Issue Index
  • July 26, 2019 - Issue Index
  • July 12, 2019 - Issue Index
  • June 28, 2019 - Issue Index
  • June 14, 2019 - Issue Index
  • May 31, 2019 - Issue Index
  • May 17, 2019 - Issue Index
  • May 3, 2019 - Issue Index
  • April 12, 2019 - Issue Index
  • March 8, 2019 - Issue Index
  • February 8, 2019 - Issue Index

Follow Us

Follow us on Social Media!

RECEIVE WEEKLY EMAIL

Information

  • Letters
  • Events
  • About Us
  • CAMP Center

Support CAMP

  • CAMP Membership
  • Volunteer
  • Contact Us
  • Donate
Copyright © CAMP Rehoboth, 2023
  • p. 302-227-5620
  • info@camprehoboth.com
  • 37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971