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May 22, 2020 - LGBTQ+ YA Column by Edward (El) Alban

Edward Alban

As a transgender male (Female to Male ) I struggle to feel like I am recognized as the man I am. Within my school, I am only out to few. I feel like I have the right to be out, however, I am afraid of the potential bullying. I don't think it will get physical but the blatant homophobia and transphobia I have heard make me uncomfortable to be out fully. I also struggle to feel accepted within certain communities, knowing some girls and men would not date me only because "I'm not a real man."

So far, I have gotten positive feedback and support from people that I know, making me feel happy and loved. However, I know that it will be difficult to come out to the whole school. I have heard some homophobic and transphobic comments in the halls and I have heard stories from other people of the words they heard.

This past summer I was doing a program where it was okay for me to be out. This was mainly due to the fact that the program was at an art school, but I felt included and validated. I was given the option to dorm with other men and was asked about my pronouns outright. Even so, I remember one instance where I was in class and the teacher misgendered me and did not correct the person even though I had been out since the beginning of the program.

I am currently debating on changing my name before I graduate. This is mainly so that I will have my actual name on my certificate and not my current legal name. I have been debating on doing this for a while, not wanting to have to out myself. I know that changing my name legally will definitely have my teachers question why a male name is given to someone who is "female," however, I feel like I am prepared to show them who I am. I have to be safe, but even then, I do not want to be misgendered. I have been using gender neutral nicknames for a while, finding that it helps a little. At least I know that most of the teachers I have or will possibly have are inclusive. 

I sometimes think about the inclusivity of the LGBTQ community, too. I worry that some people will not accept me knowing that I am trans. Thinking ahead to the future, I also wonder how I would be seen in clubs and such. I pass only about 30 percent of the time (I know that will probably change after surgeries and testosterone), but I constantly wonder if a gay man or straight man would date me even though I'm trans. 

Since I've come out, I have only really dated people who were bisexual asking questions about how they felt about trans people. 

The current world is more inclusive than it used to be, however, I feel like we live in a new world with an older mindset. The mindset of most people has not changed too much. Of course, there are outliers, but I just want to be treated like any other young man.

‹ May 22, 2020 - Out & Proud by Stefani Deoul up May 22, 2020 - Dining in by Eric Wahl ›

Past Issues

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  • December 11, 2020 - Issue Index
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    • May 22, 2020 - Cover to Cover with issuu
    • May 22, 2020 - The Way I See It
    • May 22, 2020 - In Brief
    • May 22, 2022 - CAMP Matters by Murray Archibald
    • May 22, 2020 - CAMP Out by Fay Jacobs
    • May 22, 2020 - CAMP News
    • May 22, 2020 - CAMP Stories
    • May 22, 2020 - Straight Talk by David Garrett
    • May 22, 2020 - Historical Headliners by Ann Aptaker
    • May 22, 2020 - Intentionally Inclusive Wes Combs
    • May 22, 2020 - Health and Wellness by Marj Shannon
    • May 22, 2020 - It's My Life by Michael Thomas Ford
    • May 22, 2020 - Out & About by Eric C. Peterson
    • May 22, 2020 - Out & Proud by Stefani Deoul
    • May 22, 2020 - LGBTQ+ YA Column by Edward (El) Alban
    • May 22, 2020 - Dining in by Eric Wahl
    • May 22, 2020 - CAMP Critters
    • May 22, 2020 - We Remember
    • May 22, 2020 - Community News: Vote411.org
    • May 22, 2020 - Remembering Allen Cuff by Niki Nicholson
    • May 22, 2020 - Keep Calm and Carry Out by Michael Gilles
    • May 22, 2020 - Arts & Entertainment by Doug Yetter
    • May 22, 2020 - Booked Solid by Terri Schlichenmeyer
    • May 22, 2020 - CAMPshots Throwback
    • May 22, 2020 - Celebrity Interview by Chris Azzopardi
  • April 17, 2020 - Issue Index
  • March 6, 2020 - Issue Index
  • February 7, 2020 - Issue Index

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