• Letters from CAMP Rehoboth
    • Current Issue
    • Past Issues
    • Advertising Information
    • Where Can I Get Letters?
    • The Write Stuff
  • Events
    • Featured Events
    • SUNFESTIVAL 2022
    • Women's FEST
    • Block Party 2022
  • Programs
    • Arts & Culture
    • Education & Advocacy
    • Health & Wellness
    • Community Building
    • CAMP Facilities
  • About Us
    • Membership
    • Volunteers
    • Board of Directors
    • CAMP Rehoboth Staff
    • Reports and Financials
    • History
    • Employment Opportunities
    • Press
  • Resources
    • Beach Guide Directory
    • LGBTQ Resources
    • LGBTQ Providers
    • LGBTQ Delaware Data
    • Trans & Nonbinary Resources
    • BIPOC LGBTQ Resources
    • LGBTQ Local and National Resources Guide
  • Contact
  • Shop
close× Call Us 302-227-5620
close×

Search form

June 18, 2021 - Visiting View by Ed Castelli

Tree Frogs and Afghan Shawls

I keep a gratitude journal. Every time I use it, I write five things I’m thankful for in rapid succession. For extra credit, I challenge myself to never repeat. When I started, I pretty quickly noted the big ones: husband, health, home. But as time goes on, I find I’m thankful for so many things. Some large, some small. Got Our Taxes Done. Having a Snowblower. Even mundane things that bring me joy. Cinnamon Toast.


On a bad day, this journal lifts me up. It’s an exercise in mindfulness and has helped me see all the things that make life great.


The other day I wrote something that sparked warm memories. Living the Life I Always Wanted to Live. I thought back to my childhood and how I wanted my adult life to be. A rewarding, fun life, full of love and acceptance. This, in turn, brought to mind my dad’s collection of family photos. Two in particular.


My dad loved taking pictures. He knew just when to click the shutter. He’d catch my mom in a loving sideways glance. Or my grandma’s impish smile, capturing what I’m sure was a quirky inner monologue.


We had family slide nights on every cold weather holiday. Mom, my older siblings, and I warmed ourselves in front of a hot fire while my dad narrated. Over the hum of the projector, we’d roar laughing at out-of-date fashions or some embarrassing teenage gaffe. Or we’d pause quietly for a lost loved one. It was family time at its best. And well after bedtime we’d relentlessly plead for just one more.


Long before I could label my desire to live as an out and proud gay man, I cherished the two photos you see here because they represented the life I hoped I’d live someday. They were taken at a family barbeque before I was born. I never met these men. But I yearned to see their pictures at every showing.


You see, most of our pictures were some variation of man plus woman, or their offspring. But these men were alone in the frames of my choosing. I could imagine them to be whatever I wanted them to be. And I made them into kindred spirits.


My memories are blurred, but I seem to recall the mention of “never married” for at least one of them. Ding, ding. One entered the priesthood. Did I detect an extra lilt in that spatula hand? Was the quilt a shawl? Is that hip a bit swished? And the pocket smokes, how glamorous!


I would drink these slides in as fast as I could, studying their every detail. I couldn’t ask Dad to pause as that would call attention to my vested interest. Three seconds each, tops. They’d flash on the screen and be gone until the next holiday. But oh, what joy they brought me. They made me not alone. I knew through these pictures there were others out there, even if only in my mind.


Today I’m left to wonder what became of my fictitious sisters. But I know what became of me. I eventually realized being gay is what made me different. I navigated coming out relatively unscathed. I married the most wonderful husband. And I now live surrounded by great friends and fun barbeques of my own making.


Life truly goes full circle. Pre-COVID, we hosted an evening barbeque on our deck near Bethany Beach. We live near a runoff pond and there were tree frogs croaking all around us. One was nearby, clinging to a window. As we watched, he leaped over us toward the water. Six grown men let out the deepest, most guttural, nelly screams. And then we laughed like grade-school girls.


It was chilly that late spring night and I had made a shawl out of an afghan. Yes indeed, I’m living the life I wanted to live. And for that I’m grateful. ▼


Ed and his husband, Jerry, split their time between homes near Harrisburg, Pennsylvania and Bethany Beach. Ed builds websites to pay the bills but loves to cook, garden, hike, and dote on their dog, Atticus.

‹ June 18, 2021 - View Point by Richard J. Rosendall up June 18, 2021 - We Remember ›

Past Issues

Issues Index

  • December 17, 2021 - Issue Index
  • November 19, 2021 - Issue Index
  • October 22, 2021 - Issue Index
  • September 24, 2021 - Issue Index
  • August 20, 2021 - Issue Index
  • July 16, 2021 - Issue Index
  • June 18, 2021 - Issue Index
    • June 18, 2021 - Cover to Cover with Issuu
    • June 18, 2021 - The Way I See It by Beth Shockley
    • June 18, 2021 - In Brief
    • June 18, 2021 - Out in Delaware by David Mariner
    • June 18, 2021 - Intentionally Inclusive by Wesley Combs
    • June 18, 2021 - CAMPNews
    • June 18, 2021 - Aging Gracelessly by Fay Jacobs
    • June 18, 2021 - Out and Proud by Stefani Deoul
    • June 18, 2021 - Visiting View by Tyler Mendelsohn
    • June 18, 2021 - Community News
    • June 18, 2021 - Straight Talk by David Garrett
    • June 18, 2021 - Out & About by Eric C. Peterson
    • June 18, 2021 - It's My Life by Michael Thomas Ford
    • June 18, 2021 - Hope for Future Change by Matty Brown
    • June 18, 2021 - Dining Out by Fay Jacobs
    • June 18, 2021 - Health and Wellness by Marj Shannon
    • June 18, 2021 - Health and Wellness Classes & Events
    • June 18, 2021 - LGBTQ+ YA Column by Julian Harbaugh
    • June 18, 2021 - Membership Matters
    • June 18, 2021 - Who's That?.... That's CAMP! by Anita Broccolino
    • June 18, 2021 - Feature by Robert Dominic
    • June 18, 2021 - Pride History by Michael Gilles
    • June 18, 2021 - Volunteer Spotlight by Karen Laitman
    • June 18, 2021 - Words Matter by Clarence Fluker
    • June 18, 2021 - Before the Beach by Michael Gilles
    • June 18, 2021 - CAMP Houses by Rich Barnett
    • June 18, 2021 - New Comedy by D’Anne Witkowski
    • June 18, 2021 - Regal in Rehoboth by Fay Jacobs
    • June 18, 2021 - COVID Health by Tyler Berl and Jordan Hines
    • June 18, 2021 - Booked Solid
    • June 18, 2021 - CAMPShots
    • June 18, 2021 - Celebrity Interview by Michael Cook
    • June 18, 2021 - Deep Inside Hollywood by Romeo San Vicente
    • June 18, 2021 - Featured Interview by Lawrence Ferber
    • June 18, 2021 - Historical Headliners by Ann Aptaker
    • June 18, 2021 - Homes for Transgender Women by D’Anne Witkowski
    • June 18, 2021 - Spotlight on the Arts by Doug Yetter
    • June 18, 2021 - The Real Dirt by Eric W. Wahl
    • June 18, 2021 - View Point by Richard J. Rosendall
    • June 18, 2021 - Visiting View by Ed Castelli
    • June 18, 2021 - We Remember
  • May 14, 2021 - Issue Index
  • April 16, 2021 - Issue Index
  • March 19, 2021 - Issue Index
  • February 19th, 2021 - Issue Index

Follow Us

Follow us on Social Media!

RECEIVE WEEKLY EMAIL

Information

  • Letters
  • Events
  • About Us
  • CAMP Center

Support CAMP

  • CAMP Membership
  • Volunteer
  • Contact Us
  • Donate
Copyright © CAMP Rehoboth, 2023
  • p. 302-227-5620
  • info@camprehoboth.com
  • 37 Baltimore Avenue, Rehoboth Beach, DE 19971