LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
BOOKED Solid |
Reviewed by Rebecca James |
Twenty-Nine, by Karen L. Glooch, 2001
"I tell myself that certainly there was a time when my confusion and feeling stupid weren't the dominant feelings of my days, and I know that must be true, but it's like knowing a fact; it's not like I can actually remember the feeling itself... My confusion tends to come from absorbing the world around me and simultaneously knowing that the socially desired response doesn't match my brain's response." In her twenty-ninth year, Terri Slater embarks on a journey. She begins to record the events of her past and the more recent patterns in her emotional and physical health (or lack thereof) in a journal. Twenty-Nine is a frank and open examination of Terri's life as she spirals towards rock bottom and starts to reconstruct a more positive identity. Karen Glooch's first novel is humorous and perceptive; there is a sense of brewing responsibility in Terri. She wants to figure out where she went wrong, and surprisingly, feeling sorry for herself and blaming others are not the primary means for her to do so. The abrupt departure of yet another disappointed girlfriend leaves Terri alone to face the reality of her first DUI. With a history of drinking that leads back to her adolescence, it's surprising that her behavior didn't catch up with her sooner. The DUI is a fitting indication of the weeks to come; Terri is also put on performance probation at work because of her drinking, forced to meet with her DUI attorney, and made to attend Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Perhaps it is because the most serious consequences of her drinking hit all at once, rather than spread out over several years, that Terri is scared sober. With Twenty-Nine, Glooch addresses a familiar theme in the lesbian (and GLBTQ) community: alcoholism. Terri's life is centered around the friends and bad habits she acquired in college. Her drinking, shallow relationships, and lack of self-esteem have created a stagnant and dangerous routine. Newly sober, Terri finds the post-softball game party more than a little dull. Her function at other social gatherings is questionable without the armor of alcohol. She begins to realize that in order to remain sober, she must distance herself, at least temporarily, from the people and routines that used to signify 'party' to her brain. Depressed, she withdraws from her friends and struggles to find support in new (sober) friends and strength inside herself. Terri spends a good portion of her journal on her childhood and adolescence. It is here that Terri realizes the impact of the decisions she made regarding her relationships with others and the way she saw herself. She placed a great deal of emphasis on her role in other people's lives at the cost of her own happiness and comfort level. As the entertainer, people paid attentiongirls paid attentionto the cool kid, the kid who earned the swimming badge at summer camp with the "coolest jump of all." Terri, at eleven years old, made a decision that was finally coming back to haunt her. "When I emerged from the pool, I reached for the badge before I reached for my towel. A handful of girls crowded around me and wanted to know if I would teach them how to do the corkscrew cannonball...Despite my shivering body, I no longer felt cold. Just cool. Cool as hell. The rest of the week [of camp], I observed the most assertive, athletic, and self-confident girls. I studied their attitudes, their body language, the way they reacted to compliments, their peers and authority...I left one camp that week and joined another. I know that's one me: the kid with the badge. But when I'm sober and alone with no one to perform for, I know the natural me is the badge-less kid, the one who is only comfortable in a gentle world." Glooch also acknowledges other obstacles Terri faces, including class and religion. Her parents were raised in the coalmining regions of Pennsylvania. Like many working-class people, they dreamed of a better future for their children. By the time they were able to move, however, their oldest daughter was too old to conform to middle-class suburbia. The pressure fell on Terri and her brother, who still had to attend the poorer neighborhood's elementary school before joining their suburban peers in the Catholic High School. Terri, a budding lesbian, was asked to leave after one year and followed in her older sister's footsteps at the public high school. Although free of nuns and weekly confession, she frequently makes references to feelings of guilt and inadequacy even as an adult. This of course, relates directly to other choices Terri has made that created her current situation and journal-writing endeavor. Glooch has successfully created a touching, unpretentious, and entertaining first novel. A small-press publication, Twenty-Nine is free of some of the more ridiculous plots that plague many lesbian novels. The situations she presents Terri may not remind you of your own life (although they may), but any perceptive person in the gay community will have noticed or connected with someone dealing with similar issues. This is important for any new writer specifically reaching out to the GLBTQ community, and Severna Park resident Glooch may very well find some fans right here in Rehoboth Beach. Lambda Rising carries the book, so you shouldn't have trouble finding it. Pick it up and squeeze one more beach book into your summer. Rebecca James is spending her summer reading, writing and happily massaging at Rehoboth's Spa by the Sea on Baltimore Ave. She returns to Allentown, PA very, very (much too) soon. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 11, No. 12, August 24, 2001. |