LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth |
CAMP Fitness: News, Bellybuttons, Nipples, and the Soda Lobby |
by Rick Moore |
I've always loved to read the newspapers. Ever since I was in grade school, my mom encouraged me to read the newspaper so I would know what was going on in the world. I can remember us both at the dinner table, she with one section of the Baltimore Sun or the Baltimore News Post (which has since gone under), and I with another, passing it along once we were finished. My brothers never really read the papers, except my oldest brother, Bill. They didn't seem as interested in world or even local events. Most of my family got their news from the television, a big thing when I was growing up. My dad read the Morning Sun paper, but never the evening papers. I still read a variety of papers, from the local newspapers to papers delivered to the gymlike The New York Observer (my favorite) and The Wall Street Journal. Of course, we get every news magazine, too. I get upset if my Time, Newsweek, U.S. News, or even Business Week is late. I do not get my news from a computer. There's something to be said for actually having your information in your hands and being able to get back to it when you need to relax or expand your mind. Some sources are very interesting and informative, and then some are pretty goofy and strange. You be the judge. Did you know that now, because of the style of bearing our midriffs, you can have your bellybutton surgically enhanced? No kidding. What shape is your bellybutton? Is it elliptical, T-shaped, round, or oval? Do you care? Well, it seems a lot of people do, especially now. The most popular shape is the one most favored by plastic surgeons, the slim oval which actually looks pretty close to a keyhole. So I ask you, when was the last time you really checked out your bellybutton? After reading this, I bet it was just now, right? Made ya look! With the advent of low-rise jeans, tube tops, halter tops, or even topless looks (really?), we're now in the age where a tight, youthful bellybutton is the hip thing. And having a ring through it is very "with it." Just look at Britney Spears. Many of you are staring at her bellybutton every chance you get because she has a near-perfect one. And wouldn't you want one, too? As a result, tummy tucks have more than tripled in the past decade. This is being driven by the rising demand from baby boomers in search of a more youthful appearance. Even professional body builders are getting an umbilicoplasty (bellybutton surgery). Top names in the pro circuit like Marcus Ruhl and Mr. Olympia Ronnie Coleman have had their big buttons re-shaped. And now we go from navels to yep, you guessed it, nipples. I saw this in The Wall Street Journal, that really progressive newspaper that had to let us know about the latest craze: nipple enhancements. So now, you really can say to the lady in the check out lane, "Momma, your headlights are on." Guys, don't laugh, because you're getting them re-worked too. It seems that one third of all nipple enhancement surgeries are for men. Now I could make all kinds of titillating jokes, but I'll refrain from that. Just why are we going in for this type of surgery? Well, it's good old-fashioned ego. From skin-tight t-shirts to see-through gauzy fabrics, we are now putting our nips at the forefront. How much will this enhancing surgery cost? Patients will pay anywhere from $1,500 to $8,000 so that they can have prominent nipples protruding through their clothing. This is purely a cosmetic procedure, so I really doubt that your insurance company will be willing to pay for it. But to those who really can't afford the costly surgery, hold on there, there's hope for you, too. There's a less invasive and cheaper alternative to surgery. A Minnesota company called BodyPerks (no kidding) makes synthetic rubber nipples to tuck into a bra. Sorry guys, they're not available for you yet. The BodyPerks nipples took off with sales of over 200,000 pairs once they were featured on HBO's Sex and the City, where they made a cameo appearance in one episode. And now a little food for thought. It seems that U.S. News published an article about a study tying soda consumption with obesity, especially for children. Well, the all-powerful soda lobby was really upsetoutragedthat they'd been singled out for blame. Within a month's time, the National Soft Drink Association released its own study saying that the researchers' information was flawed and untrue. And guess what, it seems that they also paid the American Dietetic Association, with 70,000 members, to issue a statement saying that carbonated sodas "are a part of a well-balanced diet." Way to go, dieticians. Talk about a sell-out. Since when does downing a can of bubble water that contains nine tablespoons of sugar become part of a balanced diet for your kid? Doesn't anyone read the nutrition labels? Or does that matter? I bet kids drink more soda than water. How frustrating. It's just completely empty calories. While a few sodas here and there won't do much damage, when it becomes the main source of fluid intake, there's a problem. Rick Moore is a personal trainer certified by the American Fitness Professionals & Associates. Visit his club, Rick's Fitness & Health, in Milton, Delaware or www.ricksfitness.net, or call 302-684-3669. |
LETTERS From CAMP Rehoboth, Vol. 12, No. 11, August 9, 2002 |